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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Testicule Chewer (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Sage Northstar (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.
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| 185 cm
25
178 lbs
5 - 0 - 0 |
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177 cm
26
175 lbs
3 - 3 - 0 |
BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Big right hand |
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BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent MT
Knockout power |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Testicule Chewer!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
3 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Sage Northstar!
The judges for this bout are Daniel Franklin, George Francis and Chris Downing.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Chewer lands with a cross.
Northstar doesn't manage to clinch there - Chewer circles away.
Northstar is looking to score with low kicks.
A quick step to the side and Chewer tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
Chewer takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Northstar swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Northstar uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Chewer.
Testicule Chewer seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Northstar tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Chewer counters with a straight right hand.
Northstar showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Chewer.
Chewer throws a left and a right that both miss
and Northstar counters with a good low kick that Chewer was not able to check.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Chewer waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Northstar.
Northstar swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
A looping hook to the body misses from Northstar. Chewer does a little dance to reset his feet.
Northstar throws the left hand but Chewer avoids the punch easily.
Northstar misses with a looping left.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Chewer misses the shot to the body.
Chewer throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
A telegraphed right hand from Chewer misses the target.
Chewer throws a right hand that Northstar ducks under and follows up with a left that Northstar also avoids with ease.
Left hook, right uppercut from Chewer.
Northstar misses with a leg kick
and Chewer counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Chewer misses with the combination.
Northstar with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Chewer to score with a decent uppercut.
A head kick misses from Northstar.
Chewer swings for the body but Northstar moves out of range.
It seemed like Northstar was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Chewer lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Northstar buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
A telegraphed right hand from Chewer misses the target.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Chewer misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Northstar.
Chewer connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Northstar lands a body shot.
A slow jab from Chewer misses its intended target.
Chewer looks to be in better condition than last time we saw him fight. Obviously he's been working hard on his cardio.
Chewer scores with a nice strike.
Northstar moves into range and lands a nice body kick.
Northstar ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Chewer is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Chewer lands the left hand.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
A telegraphed right hand from Chewer misses the target.
Northstar lands a leg kick that knocks Chewer off balance momentarily.
A nice combination there by Chewer.
Chewer throws an overhand right that lands on Northstar's shoulder, as Northstar tries to avoid the shot.
It seemed like Northstar was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Chewer scores with a nice head shot.
Chewer is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
A leg kick checked by Chewer.
Chewer throws the left hand but Northstar avoids the punch easily.
Northstar throws a body shot but no joy.
Northstar doesn't manage to clinch there - Chewer circles away.
Northstar misses with an uppercut. Chewer saw that one coming.
Chewer misses with a series of wild punches.
Northstar looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Chewer throws out a loose jab but Northstar uses good head movement to avoid it.
Northstar scores with a head kick. Chewer tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
Chewer jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Chewer misses with an uppercut. Northstar saw that one coming.
Northstar throws a nice looking combination but Chewer bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Northstar throws a hook to the side of Chewer's head but Chewer sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Northstar misses with a straight left.
Northstar defending well as Chewer loads up on a big left hand.
Northstar misses with a hook. Chewer ducked under it nicely.
Chewer misses with a hook. Northstar ducked under it nicely.
Chewer scores with a nice head shot.
Chewer tests Northstar's chin there with a solid looking shot.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Testicule Chewer dominated that round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.
Northstar slips under a jab.
Northstar throws a sloppy head kick and Chewer moves out of range easily.
Northstar scores with a body shot.
Chewer throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Northstar throws out a counter right but Chewer avoids it with no problem.
Chewer swats away the attempt to clinch by Northstar.
Chewer was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Chewer misses with the combination.
Testicule Chewer is winning the standup battle so far.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Chewer throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Northstar slips under a jab.
Chewer lands with a two punch combination before moving back out of range.
Northstar's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Chewer connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Northstar scrambles back to his feet.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Chewer misses with a looping left.
Chewer misses with a hook.
A nice side step and Northstar releases a counter shot to the body, but it doesn't find it's home.
Chewer throws a hook to the side of Northstar's head but Northstar sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Northstar tries to counter with a clinch but Chewer shakes him off and moves away.
Northstar avoids a punch combination nicely.
Chewer moves out of range as Northstar strikes.
Chewer scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!
Chewer ducks under a wild hook from Northstar.
A little feinted left hand from Chewer on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Chewer avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Chewer throws an off balance right hand
and Northstar counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Chewer thinking.
Chewer cracks Northstar with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
A punch combination from Chewer misses.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
A kick lands to the mid section there for Northstar.
Northstar is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Northstar throws an overhand right that lands on Chewer's shoulder, as Chewer tries to avoid the shot.
Northstar moves out of range of the strikes.
Northstar scores with a kick to the midsection.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Northstar misses with a leg kick.
It looked like Chewer wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Chewer chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Northstar can pounce on him.
Northstar throws a head kick but Chewer moves out of range.
Northstar slips a jab and a cross from Chewer.
A little jabbing left from Northstar on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Northstar tries to clinch up.
Northstar throws a low kick but Chewer avoids it.
Chewer connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Northstar lands a lovely overhand right.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Northstar misses with a wild combination.
Chewer rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Northstar counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Northstar fails in his attempt to clinch.
It looked like Chewer wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Northstar is looking to clinch but Chewer is avoiding it.
The crowd cheers as Chewer lands an impressive looking overhand right. Northstar doesn't seem phased though.
Northstar gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
The fighters circling - Northstar throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Northstar avoids a punch combination nicely.
A jab from Northstar misses.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Northstar throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Chewer ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Northstar moves away.
A little jabbing left from Northstar on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Northstar avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Chewer misses with a double jab.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Northstar lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Chewer has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Chewer and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Chewer falls off balance throwing a combination
and Northstar counters with an inside leg kick.
Chewer throws a right hand that misses
and Northstar cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Northstar misses with a hook
and Northstar takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Northstar misses with a wild body shot.
Chewer misses the jab.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Testicule Chewer dominated that second round.
That's time! Chewer's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!
Northstar fails in his attempt to clinch.
Chewer throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Northstar wants to land a leg kick but Chewer is out of range.
Chewer is looking to counter punch.
Chewer throws an off balance right hand
letting Northstar counter with a right hand.
Chewer staying out of range there.
Northstar lands a jab to Chewer's midsection.
Northstar uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Chewer.
A big left from Northstar misses.
It looked like Chewer wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Chewer is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Northstar on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Both these guys seem content to just stand up and trade with eachother but Northstar might want to think about changing up his gameplan a bit because over the course of the fight, Chewer has got the better of the exchanges.
A telegraphed right hand from Chewer misses the target.
Chewer misses with a body shot.
Chewer takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Chewer lands a head shot.
Northstar showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Chewer.
Northstar has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Chewer finds it's way round the side to connect with Northstar's head.
Chewer misses with a looping right.
Northstar lands a head kick!
Northstar tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Chewer paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Good exchange - Chewer coming out on top.
Chewer looks to land a right hand but Northstar moved out of range.
Chewer swings for the body but Northstar moves out of range.
Testicule Chewer is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Chewer throws a series of punches but Northstar avoids them all with ease.
Northstar throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Chewer misses with an uppercut. Northstar saw that one coming.
Northstar looks to land a right hand but Chewer moved out of range.
Northstar pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Northstar misses with a lunging right hand
and Chewer counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Chewer feints a jab promting Northstar to slip. Chewer then demonstrates his capabilities by jabbing again. Northstar slips again and ducks right into an uppercut.
Northstar tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Chewer manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Chewer tries to counter by moving into the clinch but Northstar manages to circle out of the way.
Chewer throws a body punch but Northstar moves out of range.
A jab from Northstar misses.
Northstar will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Chewer tests Northstar's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Northstar throws the left hand but Chewer avoids the punch easily.
Chewer fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Northstar manages to avoid it.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Northstar.
Chewer throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Chewer uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Northstar connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Northstar tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Chewer manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Northstar tries to close the distance and clinch but Chewer swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Northstar tries to clinch there but Chewer circles away.
Chewer pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
It seemed like Northstar was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Chewer blocks a head kick by Northstar.
Nice defenses there by Chewer.
Northstar has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Chewer scores with a three punch combo!
Northstar steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Chewer.
Chewer is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Northstar can do to turn this around?
Northstar throws a looping overhand right but Chewer ducks down to avoid it.
Northstar moves away from the strike by Chewer.
Chewer jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A telegraphed right hand from Chewer misses the target.
Northstar is trying to avoid his opponent's strikes and get into the clinch.
Sage Northstar has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Chewer throws a lazy right hand but Northstar sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
And that's the end of the fight!
Testicule Chewer showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Chewer has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Daniel Franklin scores the fight 30:27
Judge George Francis scores the fight 30:27
Judge Chris Downing scores the fight 30:27
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Testicule Chewer!
Testicule Chewer seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
53% |
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