PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Thoreaux AssKicken (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Walter White Iv (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). AssKicken comes to the cage accompanied by 5 finger death punch: Bad Company. Both these guys have really solid chins. Will we see a standup war or will they both decide that a knockout is unlikely and try to win the fight elsewhere?

AssKicken
vs
White Iv

190 cm
22
217 lbs
3 - 0 - 1

194 cm
24
212 lbs
6 - 6 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

BJJ Purple Belt
Good kicks
Solid chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, for the light heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Thoreaux AssKicken!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Walter White Iv!
The judges for this bout are Jack Bonds, and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
AssKicken throws a hook but White Iv avoids it easily.
White Iv throws an uppercut from half a mile away. AssKicken sees it coming and avoids it easily.
AssKicken looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
AssKicken ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
AssKicken throws a hook but White Iv avoids it easily.
AssKicken takes a swing at White Iv's ribcage but misses.
White Iv lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.
White Iv lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
White Iv jabbing away but nothing is landing.
AssKicken takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
AssKicken lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but White Iv circles away quickly and effectively.
The crowd cheers as AssKicken lands an impressive looking overhand right. White Iv doesn't seem phased though.
AssKicken's jab looks to have found its range, popping White Iv under the eye.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
White Iv tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but AssKicken paws at him with a jab and circles away.
White Iv on the wrong end of a nice hook.
White Iv misses with a low kick.
White Iv throws a series of punches but AssKicken moves out of range.
Decent striking displayed by AssKicken there.
White Iv scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
AssKicken thuds a left hand into White Iv's body.
Thoreaux AssKicken is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
White Iv scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
A looping hook to the body misses from AssKicken. White Iv does a little dance to reset his feet.
White Iv misses with a hook. AssKicken ducked under it nicely.
AssKicken slaps away a takedown attempt from White Iv, before circling back to the center of the mat.
White Iv swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
AssKicken catches White Iv with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
AssKicken moves out of range as White Iv strikes.
A counter left hand to the body from AssKicken misses its target.
AssKicken scores with a hook to the body. White Iv takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
White Iv tries to clinch but AssKicken is having none of it.
AssKicken misses with a wild body shot.
White Iv has a takedown stuffed.
AssKicken was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
White Iv swinging wildly here.
White Iv fails with a takedown attempt.
Thoreaux AssKicken has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Walter White Iv.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from White Iv.
White Iv rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and AssKicken counters with a nice body shot.
White Iv looks for the body kick but AssKicken saw that one coming.
Good shot there by AssKicken.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
AssKicken works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
White Iv throws out a loose jab but AssKicken uses good head movement to avoid it.
White Iv connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between AssKicken's hands.
White Iv tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. AssKicken manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
White Iv lands a slapping body shot.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from White Iv lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and AssKicken has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from AssKicken and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
White Iv throws an overhand right that lands on AssKicken's shoulder, as AssKicken tries to avoid the shot.
AssKicken throws a shot from downtown. White Iv moves away and avoids it.
AssKicken connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between White Iv's hands.
White Iv is looking to clinch but AssKicken is avoiding it.
A looping hook to the body misses from AssKicken. White Iv does a little dance to reset his feet.
Decent striking displayed by AssKicken there.
White Iv slips under a jab from AssKicken.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
White Iv throws an ugly left hook that misses
and AssKicken counters with a left to the body.
White Iv is trying hard to land a takedown here. AssKicken sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
AssKicken comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
White Iv throws a body punch but AssKicken moves out of range.
AssKicken jabs White Iv right on the nose. White Iv blinks but takes it well.
AssKicken uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
AssKicken displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as White Iv throws out the jab.
White Iv on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
White Iv misses the shot to the body.
A head kick from White Iv lands but AssKicken takes it in his stride.
AssKicken scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
White Iv throws an uppercut from half a mile away. AssKicken sees it coming and avoids it easily.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
AssKicken misses with a body shot.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from White Iv, right into the meat.
White Iv takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
White Iv fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
White Iv on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
White Iv looks winded!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
White Iv misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
AssKicken scores with a shot to the body.
AssKicken lands a nice shot to the body.
AssKicken connects with a looping right hand.

AssKicken lands a big shot that drops White Iv! Can he finish him?

White Iv is rocked!

White Iv working for a triangle but AssKicken defends it easily.
White Iv is still in real trouble! Can AssKicken finish him?
AssKicken passes into half guard.
White Iv is in trouble now - AssKicken has advanced to mount!
White Iv seems to have recovered his senses.
White Iv is looking to get to half guard.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
AssKicken pushing the pace here, looking to move to his opponents back and work for a finish.
White Iv has given up his back.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Thoreaux AssKicken dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

AssKicken getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Walter White Iv is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
AssKicken swings for the body but White Iv moves out of range.
White Iv on the wrong end of a nice hook.
AssKicken ducks under a wild hook from White Iv.
AssKicken takes a head kick and keeps coming.
White Iv throws a head kick that misses.
White Iv just misses with a punch to the body.
A quick step to the side and AssKicken tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
AssKicken throws a hook but White Iv blocks it.
AssKicken bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
AssKicken stuffs the takedown attempt from White Iv. White Iv gets slowly back to his feet.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
White Iv looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
AssKicken swinging wildly here.
White Iv lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.

That's one minute gone in the round.
AssKicken connects with a jab.
AssKicken throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
White Iv misses with a looping right.
It looked like AssKicken wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
White Iv moves out of range as AssKicken strikes.
White Iv shoots for a double leg takedown but AssKicken sprawls well. He's pushed White Iv's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Thoreaux AssKicken has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Walter White Iv.
White Iv feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits AssKickens jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
AssKicken defending well as White Iv loads up on a big left hand.
White Iv is looking to clinch.
AssKicken getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
White Iv walks into a stiff left hand from AssKicken.
White Iv has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
AssKicken looks to land a left hand but White Iv moved out of range nicely.
Good exchange - AssKicken coming out on top.

White Iv is rocked!
A cross from AssKicken lands.
White Iv is still on wobbly legs! Can AssKicken finish him?
AssKicken throws a hook but White Iv avoids it easily.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A looping hook to the body misses from AssKicken. White Iv does a little dance to reset his feet.
White Iv seems to have recovered his senses.
AssKicken tests White Iv's chin there with a solid looking shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
White Iv goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
White Iv steps to the side to avoid the strikes from AssKicken.
White Iv throws a poor cross that misses
and AssKicken counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
White Iv slips under a jab from AssKicken.
White Iv takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Thoreaux AssKicken is winning the standup battle so far.
AssKicken scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. White Iv doesn't seem bothered though.
White Iv is breathing heavily.
AssKicken throws a shot from downtown. White Iv moves away and avoids it.
AssKicken steps to the side to avoid the strikes from White Iv.
AssKicken changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
AssKicken stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
AssKicken pounces like a tiger and cracks White Iv with a vicious hook! White Iv is down but not out! AssKicken follows up with more strikes forcing the ref to jump in and stop it!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:46 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punches). Thoreaux AssKicken!
Thoreaux AssKicken retains his light heavyweight title!
After winning the bout, Thoreaux AssKicken thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.