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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Poopie Pants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Jacque Sirven (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.
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| 165 cm
21
143 lbs
5 - 3 - 0 |
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168 cm
22
145 lbs
6 - 1 - 0 |
BJJ Brown Belt
World class boxer
Granite chin |
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Good wrestler
Decent boxing
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
5 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Poopie Pants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
6 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Jacque Sirven!
The judges for this bout are Columbo Gatti, Chad Campbell and Russell Pearce.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Sirven misses with a hook. Pants ducked under it nicely.
Pants pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Sirven uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Pants.
Sirven tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Pants smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Pants slips under a jab.
Sirven closes the distance and clinches up with Pants, looking for a takedown. Sirven pushes Pants against the cage but Pants circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
Pants cracks Sirven with an open hand slap.
A jab from Sirven misses.
Pants scores with a jab. Sirven acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Sirven feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Sirven's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Pants is pulling down on Sirven's head. It's preventing any offense from Sirven, at least for the moment.
Sirven not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Pants working a defensive guard here.
Pants working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Sirven doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Sirven manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Sirven has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Pants working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Sirven.
Pants is pulling down on Sirven's head to control his posture.
Sirven distracts Pants with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
Pants is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Sirven is aware though and is defending well.
Sirven postures up.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Sirven preventing the sweep.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Sirven is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
Sirven wants to control from the top but Pants keeps moving.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Sirven's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Sirven wants to pass the guard but Pants is keeping the position.
Sirven's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Pants throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Sirven pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Pants is keeping the position for now.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Sirven passes into half guard.
Sirven not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
Pants holds on for dear life, maintaining half guard for now.
Pants wants to stand back up but Sirven manages to pass into side control.
Pants being controlled for a moment.
Sirven scoring with punches from side control.
Sirven is chipping away with strikes.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Pants is being controlled here.
Sirven lands a knee to the body and a forearm to the face.
You can see the frustration on Pants's face as Sirven controls the position.
You can see the frustration on Pants's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.
Pants stuck in half guard on the bottom here.
Pants tries to bench press Sirven off him but Sirven keeps the position.
Sirven tries to move into full mount but can't pass Pants's legs.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Sirven lands a knee to the body and a forearm to the face.
Pants throws an elbow to the body but it doesn't land.
Sirven working away diligently from side control. Landing strikes effectively there - that will score him some points on the judges scorecards.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Jacque Sirven dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.
Sirven doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Pants darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Sirven pivots, looking for a leg kick but Pants is out of range and Sirven settles back down.
A head kick misses from Sirven.
Sirven misses with a straight left.
Sirven rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Pants counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Sirven defending well as Pants loads up on a big left hand.
A big right from Pants misses.
Sirven fails with the takedown.
As Sirven looks to move away, Pants throws a big counter combo but Sirven just gets out of the way.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Pants throws the left hand but Sirven avoids the punch easily.
Sirven with a lazy takedown attempt
and Pants makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Pants throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Sirven shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A big left from Sirven misses.
Sirven takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Sirven takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Sirven lands with a shot to the body.
Pants dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Sirven throws a jab when Pants was well out of range.
Pants throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Pants connects with a leg kick. Sirven looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Pants misses with a hook. Sirven ducked under it nicely.
Pants waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Sirven.
Sirven throws an overhand right that lands on Pants's shoulder, as Pants tries to avoid the shot.
Sirven with a poor takedown
and Pants counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Sirven thinking.
Poopie Pants has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Jacque Sirven.
Sirven is trying hard to land a takedown here. Pants sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pants looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Pants misses with a wild body shot.
Sirven shoots in for a takedown but Pants shows good takedown defense.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Sirven takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Sirven throws a jab when Pants was well out of range.
Pants lands a lovely overhand right.
Sirven gets taken down but at least he's managed to land in guard.
Sirven pulls Pants in close to prevent any damage.
Sirven has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Pants can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Sirven being controlled here, momentarily.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Pants pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Sirven is keeping the position for now.
Pants wants to control from the top but Sirven keeps moving.
Pants is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because Sirven is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.
We must be close to a standup if these guys don't pick up the pace.
Sirven has his foot on Pants's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Pants works his way back into a safe position though.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Sirven holds on and takes a little breather.
Sirven is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Sirven keeping moving, preventing Pants from controlling successfully.
Pants stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Sirven swivels though and keeps the full guard.
The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Pants misses with a low kick.
A nice side step and Sirven releases a counter shot to the body, but it doesn't find it's home.
A swing and a miss from Pants.
Sirven misses the jab.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Poopie Pants dominated that second round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!
Pants misses with a jab, cross combination.
Sirven throws a shot from downtown. Pants moves away and avoids it.
Pants misses with a low kick.
Sirven changes levels for a counter takedown but doesn't follow through with his attempt.
Sirven feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.
Pants has his feet on Sirven's hips. He pushes off and gets to his feet. Nice work.
Nice defenses there by Pants.
Pants takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Pants pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Sirven doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Pants counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Poopie Pants is winning the standup battle so far.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Pants leaves Sirven with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Pants misses with an uppercut.
Sirven is clearly looking to counter with head kicks.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Pants pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Pants.
Sirven takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Sirven looks to land a left hand but Pants moved out of range nicely.
Sirven on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Pants comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Pants on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Pants takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Sirven throws a lazy uppercut
and Pants counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Sirven misses with a wild body shot.
Sirven tries to score a power double leg takedown but Pants sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Sirven somewhat.
Poopie Pants has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Jacque Sirven.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Sirven throws a jab when Pants was well out of range.
Pants tries to land a front kick but Sirven steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Pants ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Pants walks into a stiff left hand from Sirven.
Poopie Pants is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Pants moves out of range as Sirven strikes.
Pants defending well as Sirven loads up on a big left hand.
Sirven bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Pants lands with a thumping leg kick.
Pants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Sirven scores with a hook.
Sirven misses with an uppercut. Pants saw that one coming.
Nice uppercut lands for Pants. That snapped Sirven's head back.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Sirven takes a swing at Pants's ribcage but misses.
Sirven misses with a looping left.
Pants appears to be looking for a counter punch to the body.
Sirven ducks under a wild hook from Pants.
Sirven changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Pants tries to avoid it but Sirven manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Pants to the ground. Pants escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Sirven is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Pants.
Pants was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Pants looks to score with a jab to the body but Sirven is just out of range.
Sirven fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Pants manages to avoid it.
Sirven fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Pants lands with a good body shot.
Sirven connects with a good right hand that stumbles Pants. Pants circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Sirven uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Pants.
Pants stuns Sirven with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Pants lands the left hand.
Sirven avoids the body shot from Pants.
Pants lands with a right hand.
Sirven uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Pants.
Sirven with the counter takedown but Pants avoids it easily.
Pants tries to score with a low kick but Sirven moves his leg out of the way.
Sirven feints the counter takedown.
Sirven lands a nice shot to the body.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Sirven will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Pants lands a jab to the head.
Pants misses with a wild body shot.
Sirven tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Sirven swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Pants counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Pants connects with a high kick.
Sirven pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Sirven throws a jab but it's blocked by Pants.
And that's the end of the fight!
Poopie Pants showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Pants has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Columbo Gatti scores the fight 29:28
Judge Chad Campbell scores the fight 29:28
Judge Russell Pearce scores the fight 29:28
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Poopie Pants!
Poopie Pants seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
47% |
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