PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Biggus Dickus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Bubba Hoskins (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The key to victory for Biggus Dickus has got to be keeping the fight on the feet.

Dickus
vs
Hoskins

188 cm
25
240 lbs
2 - 1 - 0

177 cm
25
280 lbs
2 - 2 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Solid boxing
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Basic striking
Solid chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Biggus Dickus!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 2 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Bubba Hoskins!
The judges for this bout are David Hoff, Bart Greer and Santiago Holmes.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Dickus throws a body shot but no joy.
Dickus slaps away a takedown attempt from Hoskins, before circling back to the center of the mat.
Dickus misses with a hook.
Dickus looks to land a left hand but Hoskins moved out of range nicely.
Dickus definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Dickus missing with a left hand there. Hoskins was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Hoskins tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Nice defenses there by Dickus.
Dickus throws a looping overhand right but Hoskins ducks down to avoid it.
Dickus ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Hoskins throws a lazy right hand but Dickus sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Hoskins fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
Dickus is looking for a counter combo.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickus defending well as Hoskins loads up on a big left hand.
Hoskins swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Bubba Hoskins seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Hoskins tries a low kick but Dickus avoids it.
Dickus slips under a jab from Hoskins.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickus lands with a straight right. Hoskins didn't see that one coming.
Hoskins throws the kick towards the body but Dickus avoids it.
Hoskins fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Biggus Dickus has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Bubba Hoskins.
Hoskins staying out of range there.
A swing and a miss from Dickus.
Dickus throws a shot to the body.
Hoskins waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Dickus.
Dickus fails to land with a series of punches.
Hoskins misses with a wild body shot.
It looked like Dickus wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Dickus throws a body punch but Hoskins moves out of range.
Hoskins drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Dickus defends it well.
Hoskins looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Hoskins misses with a body punch
and Dickus connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Hoskins ducks under a wild hook from Dickus.
And Hoskins tries to counter it with a takedown but Dickus pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Dickus misses with a looping left.
Hoskins ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Dickus moves away.
A big right from Dickus misses.
Dickus avoids the body shot from Hoskins.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickus fails to land with a series of punches.
Dickus fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Hoskins misses with a lunging right hand
and Dickus counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.

Hoskins shoots in and gets a takedown into Dickus's guard.
We could do with one of the fighters taking the initiative a bit more on the ground - they're both waiting to capitalize on a mistake.
Hoskins engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Dickus is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Hoskins is controlling him.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickus pulls Hoskins in close to his closed guard and prevents Hoskins from doing any damage or advancing position.
Hoskins preventing the sweep.
Hoskins throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Dickus works some decent striking defense from the bottom.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickus has control of Hoskins's left arm, preventing Hoskins from doing any damage.
Hoskins lands a couple of digs.
Dickus knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Hoskins on the ground.
Hoskins trying to control but Dickus is working from the bottom.
Dickus wants to stand and escape but Hoskins is having none of it.
Hoskins working some strikes from top position.
Hoskins is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
Dickus can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Hoskins controls the pace.
Hoskins postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
Dickus is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Hoskins postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
Dickus preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Hoskins throwing strikes from guard but Dickus blocks nicely.
Dickus will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Hoskins lands a couple of digs.
Hoskins working some strikes from top position.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Hoskins with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.
Hoskins scoring with punches to the head and body.
Hoskins makes a bit of distance and scores with some ground and pound, still in guard.
Dickus on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Dickus tries to get out of the position.
Hoskins content to stall in guard here.
Dickus looking for a sweep. Not yet Dickus, not yet.
Hoskins has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Hoskins lands a couple of decent looking shots.
Hoskins scoring with some ground and pound.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Hoskins's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Biggus Dickus will probably get the nod.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Hoskins swings away with a body shot that misses
and Dickus counters with a nice uppercut.
Hoskins throws a right hand that misses
and Dickus counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Dickus throws a hook but Hoskins blocks it.
Hoskins slips a jab from Dickus.
Hoskins tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Dickus swivels and escapes.
Hoskins is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Dickus moves out of range as Hoskins throws a body kick.
Hoskins misses with a body kick.
Hoskins will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
A quick step to the side and Dickus tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
Dickus throws a hook but Hoskins avoids it easily.
Dickus is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Hoskins uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Dickus.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Hoskins takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Dickus is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Hoskins can do to turn this around?
Dickus misses with a looping right.
Hoskins misses with a lunging right hand
and Dickus counters with a left to the body.
Hoskins swings for the body but Dickus moves out of range.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting Dickus here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.
Hoskins walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickus is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Hoskins.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Hoskins lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Dickus has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Dickus and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Dickus digs a good hook to Hoskins's body.
Hoskins throws the kick towards the body but Dickus avoids it.
Hoskins takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Dickus moves out of range as Hoskins strikes.
Dickus connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Hoskins momentarily.
Dickus lands a really nice looking cross but Hoskins seems unphased.

It looks like Bubba Hoskins has been cut.
Hoskins is breathing heavily.
Dickus throws a jab but it's blocked by Hoskins.
The crowd cheers as Hoskins lands an impressive looking overhand right. Dickus doesn't seem phased though.
Hoskins walks into a left hand.
Dickus misses with a straight left.
Hoskins with a poor takedown
and Dickus counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Biggus Dickus has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Bubba Hoskins.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Hoskins with a lazy takedown attempt

and Dickus counters with a crisp right hand that drops Hoskins! Dickus lets Hoskins back up to his feet, looking for a finish!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A jab from Hoskins misses.
An attempted straight right counter from Dickus misses the target.
Hoskins uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Dickus.
Dickus thuds his right hand into Hoskins's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Biggus Dickus is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Hoskins with a lazy takedown attempt
and Dickus counters with a nice uppercut.

Hoskins is rocked!
Dickus throws a looping overhand right but Hoskins ducks down to avoid it.

Dickus feints and then winds up with a huge right hand that connects perfectly and sends Hoskins sprawling to the canvas! Hoskins rolls over backwards and springs off the cage and manages to regain his footing - how acrobatic! Oh, he's still wobbly - can Dickus finish him?!
Hoskins is still on wobbly legs! Can Dickus finish him?
Dickus throws an overhand right that has Hoskins reeling! Dickus follows up with more punches and Hoskins is out cold! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:33 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punches). Biggus Dickus!
A less than humble Biggus Dickus misjudged his post fight interview somewhat and came across a little too arrogant whilst trying to hype up his own abilities.