PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Yormomza Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dave Caffey (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Thundercunt
vs
Caffey

225 cm
20
300 lbs
8 - 1 - 1

188 cm
20
285 lbs
6 - 4 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Cardio machine

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 1 - 1, fighting out of The Island, Yormomza Thundercunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 4 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Dave Caffey!
The judges for this bout are David Hoff, Sandra Marshall and Michael Johnstone.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Thundercunt lands a jab.
Thundercunt throws a shot from downtown. Caffey moves away and avoids it.
Caffey throws a shot from downtown. Thundercunt moves away and avoids it.
Thundercunt was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
Caffey fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Thundercunt manages to avoid it.
Thundercunt keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Caffey.
Thundercunt dodges the punch combination from Caffey.
Caffey walks into a jab.
Caffey swings widly with a right hand
and Thundercunt connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Thundercunt lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Caffey at a distance.
Thundercunt is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Caffey misses with a hook

and Thundercunt counters into the clinch. Nicely done.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.

Caffey pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Caffey slips a straight right by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt slips a straight right by Caffey.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Caffey misses with a straight right.
Caffey misses the jab.
Thundercunt seemed to be looking to counter by closing the distance.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Caffey throws a jab when Thundercunt was well out of range.
Thundercunt swings for the body but Caffey moves out of range.
Caffey missing with a left hand there. Thundercunt was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Caffey swings widly with a right hand
and Thundercunt counters with a straight right hand.
Caffey throws a hook but Thundercunt blocks it.
Thundercunt swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Caffey throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Thundercunt paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Thundercunt avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Thundercunt lands with a straight right. Caffey didn't see that one coming.
Caffey misses with a right hand
and Thundercunt counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.

Thundercunt forces Caffey back against the cage and clinches.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Thundercunt.
Caffey prevents a body shot from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A bit of stalling here from Caffey.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt misses with a short punch on the inside.
Thundercunt misses with a punch on the inside.
Thundercunt lands a right hand.
Thundercunt misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thundercunt throws a head punch that misses.
Thundercunt swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Caffey is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Thundercunt tries to throw a body punch but Caffey avoids it by throwing Thundercunt back against the cage.
Thundercunt swings wildly with an uppercut but Caffey uses good head movement to avoid it.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt swings wildly with an uppercut but Caffey uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Caffey blocks an uppercut.
Thundercunt lands a shoulder strike.
Thundercunt is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
The fighters are pressed against the cage, as the pace of the fight slows.
Thundercunt letting Caffey take a breather here.
Caffey wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Caffey blocking some punches.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Caffey blocks it.
Thundercunt misses with a punch on the inside.
Thundercunt lands with a left to the head.
Thundercunt misses with the head strike.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Caffey.
Caffey slowing the pace effectively.
Thundercunt swings away with an uppercut that misses.
A head punch on the inside from Thundercunt fails to land.
Thundercunt lands with a right to the head.
Thundercunt misses with a punch on the inside.
Thundercunt lands a hook that snaps the head of Caffey backwards.
Caffey blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Thundercunt tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Caffey tries to break free but Thundercunt pushes him back against the cage.
Caffey is trying to push Thundercunt away but Thundercunt has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Thundercunt swings wildly with an uppercut but Caffey uses good head movement to avoid it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Yormomza Thundercunt dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Caffey sends Thundercunt crashing to the mat with a devastating uppercut! Caffey is motioning to the referee to let Thundercunt up. He wants to try and finish this one on the feet!

It looks like Yormomza Thundercunt has been cut.
Caffey misses with a lunging right hand
and Caffey takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.

Caffey cracks Thundercunt with a big right hand that sends him crashing to the floor. Caffey has the opportunity to follow him to the ground but instead he's beckoning Thundercunt to stand back up!

Thundercunt is rocked!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Thundercunt staying out of range there.
Oh Thundercunt is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Thundercunt misses with a wild body shot.
Thundercunt slips under a jab.
Thundercunt seems to have got his legs back now.
Caffey misses with a hook
and Thundercunt counters with a nice uppercut.
Caffey has tried to improve his agility in the runup to this fight.
Thundercunt avoids the body shot from Caffey.
Caffey misses with a left hand

and Thundercunt counters with a crisp right hand that drops Caffey! Thundercunt lets Caffey back up to his feet, looking for a finish!
BOOM! Thundercunt lands a beautiful left hook that drops Caffey. Caffey tries to recover but Thundercunt is having none of it, landing more punishing shots from mount. One final crushing shot and Caffey lies motionless on the canvas. The fight is over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:41 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Yormomza Thundercunt!
Yormomza Thundercunt was full of energy after the big win and talked about how he thinks he can do big things in this sport. The crowd were appreciative of his determination to succeed.