PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between I Suck (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Goran Schwarzeneg (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

Suck
vs
Schwarzeneg

178 cm
32
200 lbs
18 - 13 - 0

187 cm
50
210 lbs
24 - 90 - 1

Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Cardio machine

BJJ Blue Belt
Decent boxing
Determined

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 18 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, I Suck!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 24 - 90 - 1, fighting out of Montreal, Goran Schwarzeneg!
The judges for this bout are Alec Ball, Gregory Folan and William Peck.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Schwarzeneg misses with an uppercut
and Suck counters with a nice uppercut.

Schwarzeneg forces Suck back against the cage and clinches.
Schwarzeneg is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Suck gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
Suck comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
Schwarzeneg tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
A right hand to the body from Suck.
A short right from Suck on the inside.
Suck pushes Schwarzeneg back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Suck makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
A short right from Suck.

Schwarzeneg is rocked!
Suck stops a takedown attempt from Schwarzeneg.
I Suck has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Goran Schwarzeneg.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Suck lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Schwarzeneg is still on wobbly legs! Can Suck finish him?
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Suck lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Suck scores with a hook to the body.
Schwarzeneg looks winded!

Suck lands a big left hand right to the temple and Schwarzeneg goes down!

Suck has hold of the far side arm. He's working for the Kimura, can Schwarzeneg defend it? Suck steps over the head and cranks it - Schwarzeneg is tapping out! That was textbook stuff right there - nice submission victory for Suck!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:05 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). I Suck!
A victorious I Suck thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.