PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Biggus Dickus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Calcio Jesus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Calcio Jesus is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Dickus
vs
Jesus

193 cm
18
270 lbs
0 - 2 - 0

190 cm
23
230 lbs
0 - 2 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Basic striking
Cuts easily

BJJ White Belt
Brawler
Solid chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Biggus Dickus!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Calcio Jesus!
The judges for this bout are Saam Ante, Daniel Blasius and Nard Betker.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Jesus misses with a takedown
and Dickus counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Jesus slips under a jab from Dickus.
Dickus lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Dickus throws a right and a left that Jesus avoids nicely.
Jesus is trying to avoid his opponent's strikes and get into the clinch.

Jesus has closed the distance and engaged Dickus in a clinch.

Jesus breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.

Dickus shoots in and bounces Jesus off the cage to secure the takedown into guard.
Dickus looking to pass the guard.
Dickus stops Jesus from standing up.
Dickus trying to control the position from guard on top but Jesus is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

Jesus working away from the bottom but not quite defensive enough there because Dickus has passed into half guard!
Dickus could do with losing a few pounds - he looks very soft around the mid section, to put it politely.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickus with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
Jesus trying to control here.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickus is nestled in close to Jesus, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.

Dickus is working for a kimura but Jesus is defending it quite comfortably.
Dickus passes the half guard and he's now in mount! Big trouble for Jesus!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jesus is in all sorts of trouble here.
Dickus controlling the position easily from mount.
Dickus dominating with strikes here.
Dickus tries to control but Jesus wriggling away.
Dickus with shots to the head and body - Jesus looks very uncomfortable down there.

It looks like Calcio Jesus has been cut.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Dickus misses with a head shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickus content just to control the position here.

Dickus working to secure an arm triangle but it's not happening for him just yet.

Dickus is giving the impression that he's looking to ground and pound but he switches suddenly into a beautiful far side armbar! Jesus is forced to tap! Great finish!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:34 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Biggus Dickus!
Biggus Dickus decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.