PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Acyrius AssKicken (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Jett Jorgensen (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). AssKicken kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Snap your fingers, Snap your neck.. Jorgensen comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Kraftwerk - Numbers kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

AssKicken
vs
Jorgensen

200 cm
25
270 lbs
3 - 4 - 0

195 cm
26
264 lbs
9 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 4 - 0, fighting out of London, Acyrius AssKicken!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Jett Jorgensen!
The judges for this bout are Alec Ball, Trevor Gratis and Yves DeLean.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
AssKicken scores with a decent looking hook.

It looks like Jett Jorgensen has been cut.
Jorgensen misses with a looping left.
AssKicken tried to counter with a leg kick but Jorgensen avoided it.
AssKicken lands the left hand.
AssKicken checks a low kick from Jorgensen.
AssKicken was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Jorgensen moves out of range of the strikes.
Jorgensen throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Jorgensen fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
AssKicken misses with an uppercut. Jorgensen saw that one coming.
AssKicken thows a leg kick but Jorgensen checks it
and Jorgensen counters with a one-two to the body.
Jorgensen gets cracked with a nice right hand there by AssKicken.
AssKicken lands with a hook. Jorgensen tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
AssKicken chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Jorgensen can pounce on him.
Jorgensen fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but AssKicken avoids it really well and circles away.
Jorgensen misses with a body kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jorgensen throws a body kick despite being completely out of range
enabling AssKicken to counter with a crisp jab.
Acyrius AssKicken seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
AssKicken misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Jorgensen.
A slow jab from AssKicken misses its intended target.
Jorgensen is loading up here, looking for a big counter of his own.
Jorgensen throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Jorgensen swings for the body but AssKicken moves out of range.
AssKicken throws out a loose jab but Jorgensen uses good head movement to avoid it.
Jorgensen swings and misses with a shot to the body
and AssKicken counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Nice body kick there by Jorgensen.
Jorgensen takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
AssKicken takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
AssKicken blocks the body kick.
Jorgensen is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down AssKicken rather than just go for the knockout.
AssKicken throws an off balance right hand
and Jorgensen counters with a straight right hand.
A good leg kick by Jorgensen.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Jorgensen slips under a jab.
Jorgensen changes levels for a counter takedown but doesn't follow through with his attempt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jorgensen moves out of range of the strikes.

Jorgensen pushes AssKicken up against the cage in a clinch.
Jorgensen throws a punch but it's blocked by AssKicken.
AssKicken working aggressively here.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for AssKicken.
A right hand to the body from Jorgensen.
AssKicken tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Jorgensen swings away with an uppercut that misses.
AssKicken throws a punch but it's blocked by Jorgensen.

AssKicken manages to break the clinch.
AssKicken misses the shot to the body.

Jorgensen moves into the clinch successfully.
AssKicken misses with a hook to the ribs.
A head punch blocked on the inside by AssKicken.
AssKicken misses with a hook from the clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A nice right hand lands inside from AssKicken.

That has opened up Jett Jorgensen's cut even more.
AssKicken scores with a hook to the body.
AssKicken misses with some punches.
AssKicken on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
AssKicken misses with a punch on the inside.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Jorgensen creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
AssKicken goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Jorgensen struggles to land a body shot inside as AssKicken controls his hands.
AssKicken misses with the head strike.
A hook to the body from AssKicken.
Jorgensen misses with a hook to the ribs.
Jorgensen blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Jorgensen's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
AssKicken blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Jorgensen misses with a shot to the kidneys.
AssKicken lands a shot to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Jorgensen misses with a body punch.
Jorgensen tried to land a shot to the body but connects with AssKicken's elbow.
Jorgensen keeps control of AssKicken as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Jorgensen struggles to land a body shot inside as AssKicken controls his hands.
AssKicken managing to block the knees to the body from Jorgensen.
A head punch on the inside from AssKicken fails to land.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Jorgensen tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Jorgensen scores with an uppercut up the middle.

Jorgensen's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
AssKicken with a jab.
Jorgensen takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Jorgensen slips a jab from AssKicken.
Jorgensen tries to counter by closing the distance.
AssKicken misses with a hook.
AssKicken throws a low kick but Jorgensen moves out of range easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Acyrius AssKicken will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Jett Jorgensen's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Jorgensen scores with a body shot.
AssKicken feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Jorgensen's calf.
AssKicken just misses with a punch to the body.
AssKicken pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Jorgensen steps to the side to avoid the strikes from AssKicken.
AssKicken takes one to the side of the head.
Jorgensen gets cracked there but stands up to it.
AssKicken ducks under a wild hook from Jorgensen.
Jorgensen lands with a slapping head kick.
AssKicken lands with an overhand left.
Jorgensen throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
AssKicken went nuts there looking for a big combo counter but none of the flurry connected.
AssKicken throws a leg kick
and Jorgensen counters with a series of strikes. AssKicken will be more careful next time no doubt.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Jorgensen lands with a good body shot.
AssKicken lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jorgensen throws a leg kick but AssKicken moved away.
Acyrius AssKicken is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
AssKicken misses with a hook.
AssKicken lands a really nice looking cross but Jorgensen seems unphased.
Jorgensen tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
AssKicken comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
AssKicken throws a low kick but Jorgensen avoids it.
AssKicken tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
A big right from Jorgensen misses.
Jorgensen tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
AssKicken fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
AssKicken swings widly with a right hand
and Jorgensen counters with a lovely straight right hand!
A looping hook to the body misses from Jorgensen. AssKicken does a little dance to reset his feet.
AssKicken lands with a cross.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Jorgensen moves into the clinch successfully.
Jorgensen takes a shot to the head.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
AssKicken fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Jorgensen presses AssKicken against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.

Jorgensen escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

Jorgensen moves into range and clinches up with AssKicken.
Jorgensen misses with a body punch.
AssKicken swings wildly with an uppercut but Jorgensen uses good head movement to avoid it.
Jorgensen lands an uppercut.
Jorgensen looking to slow down the pace here.
AssKicken blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Jorgensen tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
AssKicken blocks a body shot from Jorgensen.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jorgensen is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but AssKicken is keeping busy.
Jorgensen is trying to break the clinch but AssKicken is controlling him.
Jorgensen misses with a body punch.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, AssKicken creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
AssKicken tries to throw a body punch but Jorgensen avoids it by throwing AssKicken back against the cage.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for AssKicken.

Jorgensen escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
AssKicken looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
AssKicken throws a big shot that misses.
A looping hook to the body misses from AssKicken. Jorgensen does a little dance to reset his feet.
Jorgensen misses with an attempted mid kick.
AssKicken misses with a hook. Jorgensen ducked under it nicely.
And Jorgensen responds with a good body kick, but AssKicken manages to step out the way in time.
Jorgensen takes one to the side of the head.

The cut above Jett Jorgensen's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
Jorgensen throws a body shot but no joy.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jorgensen throws a leg kick but AssKicken moved away.
Jorgensen tries to close the distance and clinch but AssKicken swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
It looked like AssKicken was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Jorgensen.
Jorgensen scores with a jab to the body.
Jorgensen throws a left and a right that both miss
and AssKicken counters with a nice low kick that buckles Jorgensen's knee momentarily.
Jorgensen blocks a jab.
Jorgensen lands with a nice body punch.
A chopping leg kick lands by AssKicken.
AssKicken throws a looping overhand right but Jorgensen ducks down to avoid it.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

Jorgensen lands a big head kick that sends AssKicken tumbling to the mat! Jorgensen takes a step backwards and waves AssKicken back to his feet - he wants the finish!
AssKicken scores with a jab. Jorgensen acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Jorgensen goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
AssKicken throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
AssKicken pulls out of a head kick attempt.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Jett Jorgensen will probably get the nod - 10:9.
The cut man is working on Jett Jorgensen's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin! This is the final round!

AssKicken looks to land a left hand but Jorgensen moved out of range nicely.
Jorgensen throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
AssKicken misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Jorgensen.
Jorgensen swings and misses with a hook to the body.
AssKicken uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Jorgensen.
AssKicken avoids a kick to the body.
AssKicken misses with a lunging right hand
and AssKicken takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
AssKicken uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Jorgensen.
Jorgensen avoids the body shot from AssKicken.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Jorgensen throws a body punch but AssKicken moves out of range.
Jorgensen throws an off balance right hand
and AssKicken counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
AssKicken swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Jorgensen misses with a jab to the body
and AssKicken counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Jorgensen misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
AssKicken throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
AssKicken avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Jorgensen blocks a jab.
Nice straight punches there by AssKicken. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of AssKicken.
AssKicken misses the jab.
A good leg kick by AssKicken.
A big right from AssKicken misses.
Jorgensen tries to clinch up.
AssKicken throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Jorgensen blocks a low kick nicely.
Jorgensen wants to counter the offense by AssKicken and move into the clinch position.
Jorgensen connects with an inside leg kick.
AssKicken lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Jorgensen is looking to clinch.
Acyrius AssKicken is winning the standup battle so far.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A low kick from AssKicken misses
and Jorgensen counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
A slow jab from AssKicken misses its intended target.
A nice side step and Jorgensen releases a counter shot to the body, but it doesn't find it's home.
AssKicken gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Jorgensen.
AssKicken just misses with a punch to the body.
AssKicken lands with a good body shot.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Jorgensen digs a good body shot into AssKicken's ribs.
AssKicken throws a big shot that misses.
Jorgensen staying out of range there.
AssKicken looks to land a left hand but Jorgensen moved out of range nicely.
Jorgensen uses good head movement to avoid the hook from AssKicken.
Jorgensen throws a leg kick but AssKicken moved away.
AssKicken throws a leg kick
and Jorgensen counters with a straight right hand.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken blocks a head kick by Jorgensen.
AssKicken is looking to counter punch.
AssKicken scores with a nice head shot.

AssKicken closes the distance and clinches.
AssKicken stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Jorgensen doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
AssKicken blocks a punch to the side of the head.
A short right hand to the side of the head by AssKicken.

Jett Jorgensen's cut is absolute horrible now. This looks like something out of a horror film with blood covering both fighters.
AssKicken stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Jorgensen tries to throw a body punch but AssKicken avoids it by throwing Jorgensen back against the cage.
Jorgensen throws a head punch that misses.
Jorgensen misses with a punch to the body.
AssKicken working some nice short punches in the clinch.
AssKicken goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
A short left from AssKicken.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken lands with a short head shot on the inside.

Jorgensen is rocked!

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Jett Jorgensen's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:14 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Acyrius AssKicken!
Acyrius AssKicken decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.
In defeat, Jett Jorgensen stepped up to the mic, saying 'Ich glaub, mich laust der Affe!'.