PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Brandon Vee (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Patricius Satanae (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think Vee might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Da Mystery of Chessboxin by Wu-Tang Clan. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Patricius Satanae was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Vee
vs
Satanae

190 cm
25
249 lbs
6 - 3 - 0

192 cm
20
252 lbs
4 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent MT
Solid chin

Sully's Bar & Grill
RAGS of a RONIN

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 3 - 0, fighting out of London, Brandon Vee!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Patricius Satanae!
The judges for this bout are Columbo Gatti, Reed Andrews and Russell Pearce.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Vee moves out of range as Satanae strikes.
Vee moves out of range as Satanae throws a body kick.
Vee swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Vee fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Satanae looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Satanae takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.

It looks like Patricius Satanae has been cut.
Satanae misses with a lunging right hand
and Satanae takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Satanae keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Vee.
Satanae waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Vee.
Satanae throws a poor cross that misses
and Vee counters with a nice body shot.
Vee comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Vee throws a nice looking combination but Satanae bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Vee rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Satanae moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Satanae jabbing away but nothing is landing.
A slow jab from Satanae misses its intended target.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Satanae wants to clinch but Vee slips to the side
and Vee counters with a straight right hand.
Satanae throws a right and a left that Vee avoids nicely.
Satanae takes a shot right to the bread basket.
A decent looking cross lands there for Vee.
Satanae is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Vee.
Nice uppercut lands for Vee. That snapped Satanae's head back.
Sloppy strikes from Vee. Those never looked like landing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Vee getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Satanae wants to clinch.
Vee connects with a nice looking jab.
Nice cross by Satanae.
Satanae misses with a low kick.
Vee scores with a punch to the head.
Vee lands a really nice looking cross but Satanae seems unphased.
Vee lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Satanae cracks Vee with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the ropes.
A left lands for Vee.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Vee connects with a body shot that sends Satanae's belly button to the back.
Vee definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Vee takes one to the side of the head.
Vee ducks under a wild hook from Satanae.
Vee fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Satanae looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Vee scores with a nice head shot.
Vee lands with a cross.
Vee is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Vee scores with a jab.
Vee lands a jab to the head.
Satanae will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Vee displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Satanae throws out the jab.
A left lands for Vee.
Vee lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Vee scores with a nice strike.

Satanae is rocked!
Vee steps in with a hook that catches Satanae right on the chin and knocks him to the floor! Vee follows him down with more strikes and that's all she wrote! Satanae looks absolutely devastated.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:36 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Brandon Vee!
As Brandon Vee got his breath back, he grabbed the microphone and managed to blurt out the following: You are looking at one of the most dangerous weapons on earth, a black man who don't give a shit. And no one can stop me. Can you dig it? CAN YOU DIG IT!?'.
The defeated Patricius Satanae had this to say: 'Shut up you bum'.