PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Thoreaux AssKicken (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Burt Rhinehold (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think AssKicken might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to 5 finger death punch: Bad Company. Rhinehold is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Cream. Fingers crossed for an exciting fight - I'm sure both fighters are looking for a nice under the table bonus!

AssKicken
vs
Rhinehold

190 cm
25
215 lbs
8 - 4 - 1

195 cm
23
222 lbs
5 - 1 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Great elbows
Good gas tank

Aspire Nutrition

KAISER Nutrition - Q160/$250
MayheM sportswear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 4 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Thoreaux AssKicken!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 1 - 0, fighting out of London, Burt Rhinehold!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, and Jack Bonds.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Rhinehold misses with an uppercut
and AssKicken counters with a nice uppercut.

It looks like Burt Rhinehold has been cut.
Rhinehold looks to land a left hand but AssKicken moved out of range nicely.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as AssKicken checks a leg kick.
AssKicken uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Rhinehold.
Rhinehold slips under a jab from AssKicken.
AssKicken backing away here, and Rhinehold unleashes a leg kick that just misses.
A low kick from Rhinehold misses

so AssKicken counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
Rhinehold is trying to keep AssKicken in close.
AssKicken looking to pass the guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

AssKicken postures up as if he's going to throw some strikes but drops back for an ankle! Rhinehold is in big trouble! He looks ready to tap! But no, he's escaped and dives on top of AssKicken, into his guard.

AssKicken looking for a sweep. Not yet AssKicken, not yet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Rhinehold stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. AssKicken swivels though and keeps the full guard.
AssKicken wants to sweep but no luck.
AssKicken bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Rhinehold's guard.

Rhinehold stopping the sweep attempt from AssKicken.

Rhinehold got a little sloppy there for a moment and AssKicken has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Rhinehold has managed to get both his arms back between AssKicken's legs - danger averted.
AssKicken lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.

AssKicken tries to free his leg and advance position but Rhinehold is retaining full guard.
AssKicken looking to sit in guard and control but Rhinehold gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.

I've been told that Rhinehold has been drilling his wrestling of late, which has already helped him take this fight to the mat. Let's see how much of an impact it has on the outcome of the ground game.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Rhinehold content to stall in guard here.

AssKicken is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
AssKicken tries to land a sweep but no joy.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Rhinehold sitting in guard here, content to control.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Rhinehold wants to pass the guard but AssKicken is keeping the position.

AssKicken throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Rhinehold preventing the sweep.
AssKicken keeping moving, preventing Rhinehold from controlling successfully.
Rhinehold trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
AssKicken tries to land a sweep but no joy.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Rhinehold wants to pass the guard but AssKicken is keeping the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
AssKicken trying to control the position.
AssKicken being controlled here, momentarily.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Rhinehold wants to clinch.
AssKicken connects with a crisp jab.
Thoreaux AssKicken seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Rhinehold misses the jab.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Thoreaux AssKicken dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Burt Rhinehold's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Rhinehold lands with a right hand.
AssKicken looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Rhinehold will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
AssKicken fires out a quick counter leg kick but Rhinehold just manages to avoid it.
AssKicken throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Rhinehold sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Despite the aggression on Rhinehold's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.
Rhinehold missing with a left hand there. AssKicken was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
AssKicken swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Rhinehold slips a straight right by AssKicken.
A slapping leg kick lands for AssKicken.
AssKicken throws a nice looking combination but Rhinehold bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Rhinehold follows through with a counter body kick but it doesn't land.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
AssKicken stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Rhinehold.
AssKicken feinted with a counter takedown.
AssKicken is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
AssKicken throws an ugly left hook that misses

and Rhinehold holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
AssKicken throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Rhineholds head.
AssKicken misses with a punch to the body.
Rhinehold creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through AssKicken's defenses.

It looks like Thoreaux AssKicken has been cut.

AssKicken breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
AssKicken misses with a leg kick.
A nice side step and Rhinehold releases a counter shot to the body, but it doesn't find it's home.
Rhinehold scores with a nice right hand.
Rhinehold throws a nice outside leg kick.
Rhinehold takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
AssKicken bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
AssKicken lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
AssKicken throws a hook but Rhinehold blocks it.
Rhinehold wants to counter the offense by AssKicken and move into the clinch position.
Rhinehold bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of AssKicken's head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken slips under a jab from Rhinehold.
AssKicken is looking to counter punch.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
AssKicken misses with a straight left.
Rhinehold is trying to avoid his opponent's strikes and get into the clinch.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts AssKicken, as that shot connected.
Rhinehold tries to work over AssKicken's front leg with a kick but AssKicken checks it.
AssKicken swats away the attempt to clinch by Rhinehold.
Rhinehold is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Rhinehold tries to clinch
and Rhinehold takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Rhinehold throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
A swing and a miss from AssKicken.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Rhinehold is looking to score with low kicks.
AssKicken gets off balance looking for a body kick
and Rhinehold cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
A big left from AssKicken misses.
AssKicken throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
AssKicken throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Nice defenses there by Rhinehold.
Rhinehold swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
AssKicken throws a body punch but Rhinehold moves out of range.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by AssKicken.
AssKicken lands a nice shot to the body.
AssKicken on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Rhinehold. Rhinehold obviously looking to wear him down.
AssKicken throws a sloppy body shot
and Rhinehold connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Rhinehold's hands.
Rhinehold tries to land a front kick but AssKicken steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
AssKicken is looking to counter punch.
AssKicken misses with a kick to the body.
AssKicken throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Rhinehold sees it coming and avoids it easily.
AssKicken looks to land a left hand but Rhinehold moved out of range nicely.
Rhinehold avoids the body shot from AssKicken.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
A swing and a miss from AssKicken.
AssKicken connects with a solid leg kick.
Rhinehold takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Sloppy strikes from AssKicken. Those never looked like landing.
AssKicken is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Rhinehold can do to turn this around?
AssKicken fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Rhinehold manages to avoid it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Thoreaux AssKicken dominated that second round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Rhinehold tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but AssKicken was well out of range. Poor timing from Rhinehold.
Rhinehold lands a nice leg kick that just misses AssKicken's sensitive parts.
Jab from AssKicken.
AssKicken avoids a kick to the body.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from AssKicken, right into the meat.
AssKicken connects with a body shot that sends Rhinehold's belly button to the back.
AssKicken ducks under a wild hook from Rhinehold.
Rhinehold checks the leg kick nicely there.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Rhinehold throws a looping overhand right but AssKicken ducks down to avoid it.
AssKicken tries to counter with a takedown but Rhinehold is quick to defend against it.
Thoreaux AssKicken is winning the standup battle so far.
A bone on bone clash there as Rhinehold blocks the leg kick.
Rhinehold moves out of range of the strikes.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Rhinehold slips under a jab.
AssKicken scores with a leg kick.
Rhinehold bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps AssKicken's head backwards.
AssKicken works the jab nicely.
AssKicken throws a nice looking combination but Rhinehold bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
AssKicken misses with a looping left.
AssKicken cracks Rhinehold with an open hand slap.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by AssKicken.
A jab from Rhinehold misses.
AssKicken moves out of range of the leg kick from Rhinehold.
Burt Rhinehold is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
AssKicken jabs at Rhinehold's body.
Burt Rhinehold has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Rhinehold tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but AssKicken paws at him with a jab and circles away.
AssKicken misses with a hook.
AssKicken connects with a jab.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
AssKicken slips a jab from Rhinehold.
AssKicken loads up on a big right hand but Rhinehold slips the punch.
Rhinehold thows a left - swing and a miss!
AssKicken tries to counter with a takedown but Rhinehold is quick to defend against it.
Rhinehold throws a jab when AssKicken was well out of range.
AssKicken with a jab.
Rhinehold throws a right and a left that AssKicken avoids nicely.
Rhinehold misses with a body shot.
Rhinehold scores with a hook.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Rhinehold.
Nice jab there from Rhinehold.
Rhinehold with a nice cross.
Rhinehold walks into a stiff left hand from AssKicken.
A jab from AssKicken finds it's way through Rhinehold's defenses.
Rhinehold fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but AssKicken is out of range.
Rhinehold moves out of range as AssKicken strikes.
AssKicken scores with a jab. Rhinehold acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Rhinehold has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Rhinehold there as he acknowledges the shot.
AssKicken lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Rhinehold circles away quickly and effectively.
Rhinehold throws out a counter right but AssKicken avoids it with no problem.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A clash of legs there as AssKicken blocks the low kick.
AssKicken throws a looping overhand right but Rhinehold ducks down to avoid it.
Rhinehold with a body punch. A glancing blow.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Rhinehold avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Rhinehold loads up on a big right hand but AssKicken slips the punch.
AssKicken misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Rhinehold takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Rhinehold connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed AssKicken momentarily.

AssKicken is rocked!

And that's the end of the fight!
Thoreaux AssKicken showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for AssKicken, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Timothy Bukovac scores the fight 30:27
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight 30:27
Judge Jack Bonds scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Thoreaux AssKicken!
Thoreaux AssKicken gave a mention to Aspire Nutrition in his post fight interview. That will please them (and hopefully generate some sales).