PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Danny Volcanic (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dardan Douchebag (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Douchebag is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by Donkey. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!

Volcanic
vs
Douchebag

171 cm
48
152 lbs
66 - 31 - 2

176 cm
25
155 lbs
5 - 4 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
KO power

Excellent grappler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

My$tic Clothing ~ (`10%Laundry`)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 66 - 31 - 2, fighting out of Los Angeles, Danny Volcanic!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Dardan Douchebag!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Jack Bonds and Don Winkell.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Volcanic avoids a punch combination nicely.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Douchebag scores with a jab to the jaw.
Douchebag lands a two punch combo.
Volcanic shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Douchebag as he jumps to the side.

Douchebag shoots in and gets a takedown into half guard. Douchebag showed some decent athleticism there.
Douchebag controlling the pace.
Douchebag scoring with strikes to the body and head.
Douchebag passes the guard and advances to mount!
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Douchebag has his opponent pinned against the cage, landing some nasty ground and pound that is really making a bit of a mess out of Volcanic's face.
Douchebag landing punches.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Douchebag raining down shots from the mount!
Douchebag raining down shots from the mount!
Douchebag working Volcanic over with strikes here.
Douchebag connects with a couple of good shots from mount.
Douchebag working the ground and pound effectively.
The crowd growing excited in anticipation of a finish here! Right on cue, Douchebag cracks his opponent with a massive right hand that draws loud cheers!
Douchebag lands a shot to the body, followed up by a shot to the exposed head of his trapped opponent.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Douchebag fakes a shot to the body and cracks his opponent in the head. Nice ground and pound there!
Douchebag raining down shots from the mount!
Douchebag landing punches.
Volcanic tries to get back to half guard but can't.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Douchebag lands a shot to the body, followed up by a shot to the exposed head of his trapped opponent.
The referee warns Volcanic that he has to improve his position here as he takes two more clean shots to the head.
Douchebag with the ground and pound from mount.

Volcanic is rocked!
Douchebag is landing with some decent strikes but Volcanic is trying to advance his position so the referee is letting the fight continue.
Oh Volcanic is still in real trouble! Will he be able to recover?!!
Volcanic bucks up and manages to get a nice reversal! He's in guard on the top - nicely done!
Douchebag throws some sloppy strikes off his back.
Volcanic seems to have got his legs back now.
Douchebag tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Douchebag trying to punch from his back but it's not doing any damage.

Douchebag looking for a guillotine here but Volcanic defends easily.
Douchebag is trying to keep Volcanic in close.

Volcanic is posturing up here but Douchebag has hold of an arm and he's gone for an armbar! Volcanic tries to roll out but it's too tight and Volcanic has to tap! Slick submission there by Douchebag!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:57 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Dardan Douchebag!
Dardan Douchebag took to the microphone after his victory and thanked his sponsors, My$tic Clothing ~ (`10%Laundry`) for their support in the buildup to the fight.