PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Armando Gracie (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dog Turd On A Stick (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Gracie comes to the cage accompanied by America Fuck Yeah. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Gracie
vs
Turd On A Stick

170 cm
26
190 lbs
7 - 1 - 0

180 cm
27
185 lbs
3 - 3 - 0

Good takedowns
Brawler
Granite chin

Decent wrestler
Good kicks
Powerful

Dauntless
RAGS of a RONIN

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Armando Gracie!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Dog Turd On A Stick!
The judges for this bout are Chris Edwards, Paul Tew and Donald Grub.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Gracie shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and On A Stick cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.

On A Stick closes the distance and looks for a trip takedown... aaaand he's got it - On A Stick lands in his opponent's guard.
Gracie looking to hit a scissor sweep but On A Stick is one step ahead there.
On A Stick slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
Gracie working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from On A Stick.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
On A Stick is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
On A Stick throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Gracie works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
On A Stick trying to control the position from guard on top but Gracie is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
On A Stick preventing the sweep.
On A Stick postures up and scores with a shot to the body and a follow up elbow to the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
On A Stick scoring with some ground and pound.
Gracie is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Gracie wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now.
Gracie bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in On A Stick's guard.

On A Stick really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Gracie. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
On A Stick keeping moving, preventing Gracie from controlling successfully.
On A Stick is trying to control the position but Gracie postures up.

On A Stick is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
On A Stick is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
On A Stick working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Gracie.

On A Stick escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Gracie gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.

Gracie drops back for a leg! It's a sloppy attempt though and Gracie jumps back into guard quickly, to retain the dominant position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Gracie missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.

On A Stick looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
On A Stick working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Gracie.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Gracie drops back looking for a leg! On A Stick is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and On A Stick manages to kick Gracie off! Gracie jumps back into On A Stick's guard.

Gracie thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.
On A Stick keeping moving, preventing Gracie from controlling successfully.
Gracie is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because On A Stick is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
On A Stick looking for a sweep. Not yet On A Stick, not yet.
On A Stick keeping moving, preventing Gracie from controlling successfully.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.
Gracie shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts On A Stick as he jumps to the side.
As Gracie backs off On A Stick throws a huge counter combo but Gracie manages to avoid it all.
Gracie shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and On A Stick counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Armando Gracie. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Gracie tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Gracie fails with the takedown
and On A Stick counters with a straight right hand.
Gracie tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but On A Stick swivels and escapes.
Gracie is breathing heavily.
Gracie gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily
and On A Stick counters with a left to the body.
On A Stick has done a lot of speed work in the buildup to this fight.
On A Stick bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Gracie's head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Gracie misses with a takedown attempt
and On A Stick makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.

On A Stick closes the distance and after a bit of a stuggle, scores a takedown into Gracie's guard.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
On A Stick controls from within his opponent's guard.
On A Stick cracks Gracie with a solid left hand.
On A Stick wants to control from the top but Gracie keeps moving.
Gracie being controlled here, momentarily.
Gracie controls On A Stick momentarily but On A Stick frees himself.
On A Stick is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
On A Stick postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
On A Stick content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dog Turd On A Stick dominated that round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

A solid body kick from On A Stick.
On A Stick stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and On A Stick wants it to stay on the feet.
Gracie misses with a takedown
enabling On A Stick to counter with a crisp jab.
Gracie fails with the takedown.
On A Stick is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Armando Gracie. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Gracie shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and On A Stick counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Gracie thinking.
A kick lands to the mid section there for On A Stick.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts On A Stick, as that shot connected.
Gracie closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
On A Stick uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Gracie has time to react.
On A Stick bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Gracie's head backwards.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
On A Stick catches Gracie with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
On A Stick lands with a nice combination. Gracie backs away looking to recover.
Gracie has his takedown stuffed
and On A Stick counters with a leg kick.
On A Stick jabs Gracie right on the nose. Gracie blinks but takes it well.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Gracie takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Gracie with a lazy takedown attempt
and On A Stick counters with a stiff right hand.
On A Stick scores with a nice head shot.
On A Stick connects with a body shot that sends Gracie's belly button to the back.
On A Stick listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
On A Stick fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Armando Gracie is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
On A Stick connects with an inside leg kick.

Gracie gets caught napping as On A Stick dives in and scores a takedown. Gracie manages to retain guard.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Gracie has momentary wrist control but On A Stick slips an elbow through the middle.
On A Stick is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
On A Stick trying to control the position from guard on top but Gracie is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dog Turd On A Stick has got the better of the ground game so far.
On A Stick sitting in guard here, content to control.
On A Stick cracks Gracie with a solid left hand.
On A Stick trying to control but Gracie is working from the bottom.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
On A Stick slips nicely into half guard.
On A Stick has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Gracie is trying to get back to full guard.
Gracie is trying to defend against the ground and pound but On A Stick scores with a couple of nice shots.
Gracie is not content to let On A Stick control the position.
On A Stick tries to pass to full mount but Gracie defends it.
On A Stick is keen to just control but Gracie is a slippery customer.
On A Stick looks towards his corner to check for any instructions. The corner give him nothing to work with, so he cracks Gracie with a short hammerfist. I guess that's as good as any advice he could get in this position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
On A Stick trying to control from half guard but Gracie is working away.
Gracie wants to get back to full guard.
On A Stick with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
On A Stick is continuing to stall.
Gracie is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
On A Stick is trying to control the action in half guard but Gracie is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Gracie is trying to control but can't.
On A Stick uses his free foot to push down on Gracie's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Gracie.
On A Stick pausing momentarily but resumes with a couple of decent strikes that do a bit of damage.
On A Stick trying to control but he's not successful this time.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Gracie working to try and regain half guard.
On A Stick has his opponent pinned against the cage, landing some nasty ground and pound that is really making a bit of a mess out of Gracie's face.
On A Stick can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Gracie is looking to escape.
On A Stick breaks from Gracie's wrist control and lands an elbow.
Gracie is in a horrible position here. On A Stick smacks him with another shot as he tries to escape the position.
Gracie regains half guard.
On A Stick is nestled in close to Gracie, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
On A Stick working over Gracie with some ground and pound. Gracie looks like he wants out of this position, which is understandable.
Gracie keeping hold of On A Stick's head, controlling as best he can.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dog Turd On A Stick showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Nice body punch from On A Stick.
Gracie has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Gracie there as he acknowledges the shot.
Gracie with a lazy takedown attempt
and On A Stick counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
On A Stick scores with the left hand. Gracie knows he should have avoided that one.
On A Stick lands a body shot.
On A Stick changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Gracie with a poor takedown
and On A Stick counters with a straight right hand.
On A Stick jabs Gracie right on the nose. Gracie blinks but takes it well.
Gracie gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily
and On A Stick counters with a lovely straight right hand!
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Armando Gracie. That's going to take a lot out of him.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A lazy left from On A Stick finds it's target.
Gracie shoots and misses

and On A Stick counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
On A Stick content to sit in half guard and control for a moment.
On A Stick trying to mount his opponent but Gracie defends it.
On A Stick is trying to control. Gracie wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.

That's one minute gone in the round.
On A Stick tries to pass the half guard into mount. Gracie knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Gracie is not content to let On A Stick control the position.
On A Stick is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Gracie is trying to get back to full guard.
Gracie is controlling On A Stick's trapped leg to prevent On A Stick from advancing to side control.
Gracie is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
On A Stick wants to take a breather but Gracie is having none of it.
On A Stick looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Gracie is trying to defend against the ground and pound but On A Stick scores with a couple of nice shots.
On A Stick looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Gracie wants to improve his position but On A Stick is controlling well.
On A Stick wants to pass the guard but Gracie is defending well.
On A Stick controlling the action here.
On A Stick seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Gracie does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
The referee must be thinking about standing these guys back up.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
On A Stick is just sitting in half guard, waiting for something to happen.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.

Gracie shoots in for a takedown from distance. He catches On A Stick napping and manages to drive through into side control!

Gracie tries for a kimura but On A Stick is defending well.
On A Stick is trying to get back to half guard.

Gracie tries for a kimura but On A Stick is defending well.
On A Stick sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
We get told so often about how wrestlers don't like to be on their backs. Let's see if On A Stick can do anything to dispel that myth.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Gracie is looking for a kimura but On A Stick is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Gracie to get the leverage.
On A Stick is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Gracie wants to lay and pray for a moment but On A Stick keeps working.

Gracie wants to work for an arm triangle but On A Stick is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.
On A Stick avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Gracie.
On A Stick is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Gracie is looking to stall here but On A Stick recovers full guard.

On A Stick working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Gracie doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Gracie manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dog Turd On A Stick really dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Gracie with a lazy takedown attempt
and On A Stick counters with a lovely shot to the body.

On A Stick feints and as Gracie raises his hands in defense, On A Stick changes levels and drives through with a takedown into guard.
On A Stick wants to control from the top but Gracie keeps moving.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells On A Stick's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Gracie trying to keep a closed guard but On A Stick is proving a slippery customer.
On A Stick engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Gracie wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now.
Gracie seems to have improved his submission grappling technique since last time we saw him. Let's see if he can pull off a submission.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
On A Stick trying to control but Gracie is working from the bottom.

Gracie looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
It's got to the stage where if one of these guys blows hard enough, the other might fall over.
On A Stick trying to control the position from guard on top but Gracie is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Gracie being controlled here, momentarily.
Gracie not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.

Gracie looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
On A Stick wants to control from the top but Gracie keeps moving.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
On A Stick looking to pass the guard.

Gracie looking for a guillotine here but On A Stick defends easily.
Gracie keeping moving, preventing On A Stick from controlling successfully.
On A Stick looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Gracie wants to sweep here but On A Stick controlling him for the moment.
Gracie lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Gracie is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
On A Stick controlling Gracie's posture.
On A Stick keeping moving, preventing Gracie from controlling successfully.
Gracie looking to sit in guard and control but On A Stick gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.

Gracie is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.

Gracie is trying for a kimura here. On A Stick looks like he's in a lot of pain... and he's tapping out! Gracie wins by kimura!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:55 of round 4, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Armando Gracie!
In his post fight interview, Armando Gracie gave a big smile as he said 'Edgy Brah I am coming for you, you better be ready for a fight or I will plant you on the mat. Armando walks down the cage and out of the arena.'.
Dog Turd On A Stick was interviewed post fight and said 'ALL I WANTED WAS A HUG, I'M SPECIAL NEEDS. YOU BEAT UP A SPECIAL NEEDS GUY. WHAT THE SHIT, POWERS?!'.