PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Milktoast Diddlybottom (ranked 2229 p4p, 74 weight class) and Lump Beefrock (ranked 971 p4p, 35 weight class). Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Diddlybottom
vs
Beefrock

213 cm
27
275 lbs
8 - 7 - 0

200 cm
28
300 lbs
18 - 7 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Red Light Coffeeshop
House of Valor

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Milktoast Diddlybottom!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 18 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Lump Beefrock!
The judges for this bout are Seu Braga, Mauricio Rocha and Matheus Silva.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Beefrock shoots in looking for a takedown but Diddlybottom manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Beefrock's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Diddlybottom lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.

It looks like Lump Beefrock has been cut.
Diddlybottom misses with a wild body shot.
Diddlybottom throws a low kick, looking for Beefrock's leg but Beefrock calmly moves out of range.
Beefrock tries to score a power double leg takedown but Diddlybottom sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Beefrock somewhat.
Diddlybottom catches Beefrock with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Beefrock doesn't manage to clinch there - Diddlybottom circles away.

Diddlybottom rushes Beefrock and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Beefrock blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Beefrock.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Diddlybottom tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Beefrock jumps guard but Diddlybottom stands there with Beefrock around his waist. Beefrock gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Milktoast Diddlybottom has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Lump Beefrock.
Beefrock tries to pull guard but Diddlybottom forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
Diddlybottom misses with a body punch.
Diddlybottom lands with a left to the head.
A right handed body shot lands from Diddlybottom.
Diddlybottom lands a left hand that snaps the head of Beefrock backwards.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Diddlybottom.
Diddlybottom manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Beefrock tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Diddlybottom lands a left hand that snaps the head of Beefrock backwards.
Diddlybottom lands a hook that snaps the head of Beefrock backwards.
Beefrock tries to pull guard but Diddlybottom won't allow it.
Diddlybottom lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Beefrock.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom tries to work over Beefrock's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Beefrock tries to pull guard but Diddlybottom forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
Beefrock jumps guard but Diddlybottom turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
Diddlybottom misses with a hook from the clinch.
Diddlybottom lands with a light punch inside.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Diddlybottom cracks Beefrock with a nice body shot.
Beefrock drops down looking for an ankle pick but Diddlybottom pulls his leg out and moves away.

Diddlybottom throws a loose over hand right and dives in with a double leg takedown. Beefrock tries to sprawl but it's too late and the fighters hit the mat. Diddlybottom is in Beefrock's guard.
Beefrock has control of Diddlybottom's left arm, preventing Diddlybottom from doing any damage.
Beefrock looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Beefrock preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Beefrock looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Diddlybottom controlling from the top position.
Diddlybottom throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Beefrock works some decent striking defense from the bottom.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom with a flurry of punches that miss.
Diddlybottom passes into half guard.
Diddlybottom tries to pass the half guard into mount. Beefrock knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Diddlybottom thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Beefrock's head.
Beefrock controlling the leg, holding on to half guard.
Diddlybottom thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Beefrock's head.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Diddlybottom throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.

Diddlybottom is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Beefrock sees it coming and defends easily.
Beefrock wants to control but Diddlybottom is keeping busy.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Beefrock is staying active underneath Diddlybottom, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Beefrock slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Diddlybottom working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Beefrock keeping moving, preventing Diddlybottom from controlling successfully.
Diddlybottom is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because Beefrock is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
Diddlybottom throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Beefrock throws out a counter right but Diddlybottom avoids it with no problem.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Milktoast Diddlybottom dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Lump Beefrock's cut.
That's time! Back to the action!

Diddlybottom lands with a nice body punch.
Diddlybottom throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Beefrock on the side of the head.
Diddlybottom fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
Diddlybottom shoots in for a takedown but Beefrock shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Diddlybottom throws a lazy uppercut
and Beefrock counters with a series of strikes. Diddlybottom will be more careful next time no doubt.
Beefrock checks the leg kick nicely there.
Beefrock slips under a jab from Diddlybottom.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Diddlybottom misses with a leg kick.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Diddlybottom, right into the meat.
Beefrock shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Beefrock tries to clinch but Diddlybottom moves out of range.
Milktoast Diddlybottom seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Beefrock avoids a kick to the body.
Beefrock misses with a takedown attempt - Diddlybottom sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Beefrock checks a leg kick.
Beefrock moves out of range of the strikes.
Diddlybottom with a hook.

That has opened up Lump Beefrock's cut even more.

Diddlybottom scores with a takedown into Beefrock's guard.
Diddlybottom throwing strikes but missing.
Diddlybottom trying to control but Beefrock is working from the bottom.
Diddlybottom in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Beefrock pulls Diddlybottom in close to his closed guard and prevents Diddlybottom from doing any damage or advancing position.
Diddlybottom controlling from the top position.
Beefrock avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Beefrock is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.

Beefrock is just content to waste time from the top position. Diddlybottom takes advantage of the situation and regains full guard.
Beefrock trying to control but Diddlybottom is working from the bottom.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom wants to sweep but no luck.
Diddlybottom looking to control.

Diddlybottom is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Beefrock defends well.
Diddlybottom is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Beefrock can do to turn this around?
Beefrock engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Beefrock is pushing down on Diddlybottom's leg trying to pass to half guard. Diddlybottom is fighting to maintain full guard but Beefrock has managed to sneak the leg through.
Beefrock scoring with strikes to the body and head.
Diddlybottom is trying to control but can't.
Diddlybottom keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Beefrock wants to lay and pray for a moment but Diddlybottom keeps working.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Beefrock in particular looking to stall.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Diddlybottom scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Milktoast Diddlybottom dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Lump Beefrock's cut.
That's time! Diddlybottom's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Diddlybottom looks to land a body kick but Beefrock moved away.
Beefrock shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Diddlybottom but Diddlybottom pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Horrible takedown attempt by Beefrock or perhaps it was just good defense by Diddlybottom, which made it look bad.
Diddlybottom looks to score with a jab to the body but Beefrock is just out of range.
Beefrock steps in looking to clinch after the strikes miss from Diddlybottom.

Diddlybottom fakes a strike and closes the distance, dragging Beefrock to the ground. Diddlybottom is now in Beefrock's guard.
Beefrock is adopting a defensive guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Beefrock avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Diddlybottom chips away with some ground and pound.
Beefrock tries to land a sweep but no joy.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Diddlybottom makes a bit of distance and scores with some ground and pound, still in guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Beefrock utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Diddlybottom will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Diddlybottom pushes down on Beefrock's leg and manages to get into half guard.
Beefrock has hold of Diddlybottom's hands but Diddlybottom slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.
Beefrock is refusing to be controlled, as Diddlybottom sits in half guard.
Beefrock wants to improve his position but Diddlybottom is controlling well.
Beefrock is pressing down on Diddlybottom's left leg trying to get back to full guard. He's managed it.
Diddlybottom has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Beefrock is trying to stand up but he's not managed so far.
Beefrock keeping moving, preventing Diddlybottom from controlling successfully.
Diddlybottom is stalling in the full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom preventing the sweep.
Diddlybottom controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
Beefrock wants to sweep but no luck.
Milktoast Diddlybottom overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Diddlybottom wants to control from the top but Beefrock keeps moving.
Beefrock pulls Diddlybottom in close to his closed guard and prevents Diddlybottom from doing any damage or advancing position.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.
Beefrock tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Diddlybottom paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Diddlybottom is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Beefrock keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Diddlybottom.
Diddlybottom bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom misses with a low kick.
Diddlybottom fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Beefrock.
Diddlybottom throws a nice inside leg kick.
Diddlybottom throws a shot from downtown. Beefrock moves away and avoids it.
Beefrock thinks about the counter body kick.
Diddlybottom throws a hook but Beefrock avoids it easily.
Lump Beefrock has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Diddlybottom throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Milktoast Diddlybottom is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

Diddlybottom closes the distance and gets a trip takedown into side control. Beefrock quickly recovers to half guard.
Diddlybottom is just sitting in half guard, waiting for something to happen.
Diddlybottom wants to free his trapped foot but Beefrock is holding on for dear life with his legs.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom not doing much here.
Beefrock is trying is best to control the position here.
Beefrock is continuing to stall.
Beefrock wants to control but Diddlybottom is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Diddlybottom tries to pass the half guard into mount. Beefrock knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Diddlybottom is looking to pass the guard... He's managed it - he's now in full mount!

And that's the end of the fight!
Milktoast Diddlybottom showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Diddlybottom has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Seu Braga scores the fight 30:27
Judge Mauricio Rocha scores the fight 30:26
Judge Matheus Silva scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Milktoast Diddlybottom!
A victorious Milktoast Diddlybottom thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.