PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Editiny Dick (ranked 282 p4p, 39 weight class) and Liquid Gold (ranked 902 p4p, 95 weight class). Dick comes into the arena with Penis song blaring out of the sound system. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Dick
vs
Gold

167 cm
33
132 lbs
15 - 7 - 2

179 cm
34
150 lbs
23 - 17 - 1

BJJ Red Belt
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

IniTech Nutrition
Aspire Clothing

Voodoo Nutrition
Aspire Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 7 - 2, fighting out of Las Vegas, Editiny Dick!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 23 - 17 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Liquid Gold!
The judges for this bout are , Frank Antenori and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Gold walks into a jab.
Dick misses with a hook. Gold ducked under it nicely.
Dick dips to his left and cracks Gold with an uppercut!
Dick tests Gold's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Gold listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Gold lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
Dick defending well as Gold loads up on a big left hand.
Dick has been working on his boxing with his coaches at Xtreme MMA in the buildup to the fight.
Gold uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Dick.
Dick jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Jab, jab by Gold - just one landing.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Dick throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Dick throws a nice looking combination but Gold bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Dick looks to score with a jab to the body but Gold is just out of range.

Gold moves into range and clinches up with Dick.
Dick misses with a short punch on the inside.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Dick.
Gold tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Gold swings wildly with an uppercut but Dick uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dick misses with a hook to the ribs.
Dick misses with a hook from the clinch.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Gold.
Gold lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Dick backwards.
Dick fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Gold throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Dicks head.
Dick's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Dick blocking some punches.
Dick blocks a body shot from Gold.
Dick lands a left hand.
Gold scores with a nice hook to the head.
Gold throws a head punch that misses.
Dick lands with a light punch inside.
Gold misses with a hook from the clinch.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Dick working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Dick is looking to take this one to the mat.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Gold.

Dick manages to pull guard. Let's see whether he can land a sub off his back.
Gold wanted to stand there but Dick had control of the position.

Dick has his foot on Gold's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Gold works his way back into a safe position though.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Dick is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Gold is aware though and is defending well.
Dick is trying to control the position from the bottom.
My spies in Devil Dogs inform me that Gold has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Dick is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

Gold avoids a guillotine attempt easily.

Dick looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Gold passes into half guard.

Dick looking for submissions from an awkward position here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dick is looking for a sweep. Gold is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Dick looking for submissions off his back.

Dick looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.

Dick looking for submissions off his back.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.

Dick actively working from the bottom here.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Gold wants to stand up but Dick is controlling the position.
Dick trying to control from the bottom.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
Gold moves out of range as Dick strikes.
Dick waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Gold.
Dick wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Gold wants to clinch up but Dick keeps it at a distance.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Liquid Gold will probably get the nod.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Gold misses with a hook. Dick ducked under it nicely.
Good leg kick by Gold there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Gold throws a poor cross that misses
enabling Dick to counter with a crisp jab.
Dick uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Gold.
Gold missing with a left hand there. Dick was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Gold loads up on a big right hand but Dick slips the punch.
Dick throwing a counter right hand but Gold manages to avoid it.
Gold is looking to clinch.
Dick uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Gold.
Dick avoids a punch combination nicely.
Dick uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Gold.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Gold throws a lazy right hand but Dick sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Gold slips a straight right by Dick.
Gold has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Dick finds it's way round the side to connect with Gold's head.
Dick takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Dick uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Gold.
Dick swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dick jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Dick throws a jab when Gold was well out of range.
Dick misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Gold.
Dick throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Gold sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Gold connects with a solid leg kick.
A slow jab from Gold misses its intended target.
Gold swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Gold connects with a single shot there.
Gold tries to clinch but Dick is having none of it.
Dick is looking to counter punch.
Gold throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Gold misses with a straight left.
Dick misses with a right hand
and Gold counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Gold on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Dick throws a body shot but no joy.
Gold throws a wild body kick that Dick sees coming a mile off.
Dick throws a right and a left that both miss.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fighters circling - Gold throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Gold throws a series of punches but Dick moves out of range.
Dick displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Gold throws out the jab.
Gold looks to throw the jab but Dick is out of range.
Dick throws a hook but Gold avoids it easily.
No joy there for Gold, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Gold swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Dick ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Gold moves away.
Gold throws a lazy uppercut
enabling Dick to counter with a crisp jab.
Dick avoids the body shot from Gold.
Dick throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Gold getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Dick moves out of range of the strikes.
Gold scores to the head and body with a nice combination!
Dick avoids a lazy jab quite easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dick misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Gold.
Dick missing with a left hand there. Gold was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Gold doesn't manage to clinch there - Dick circles away.
An attempted straight right counter from Dick misses the target.
Dick connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Dick misses the shot to the body.
Liquid Gold seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Gold misses with an uppercut.
Good standup being displayed there by Dick as he connects with a hook.
Gold swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Gold throws an overhand right that lands on Dick's shoulder, as Dick tries to avoid the shot.
Gold tests Dick's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Gold scores with the left hand. Dick knows he should have avoided that one.
Dick misses with a shot to the body
and Gold counters with a straight right hand.
Dick throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Dick moves out of range of the strikes.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dick moves out of range as Gold strikes.
Dick throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Dick keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Gold.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Gold scores with a nice head shot.
Gold bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Gold misses with a straight left.
Dick defending well as Gold loads up on a big left hand.
Dick was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
Dick scores with a sloppy right hand. Gold should have avoided that one.
Gold tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Gold throws a hook but Dick avoids it easily.
Dick's corner calls for a 1-2. Dick obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Gold is looking to clinch.
Dick half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Dick slips a straight right by Gold.
Gold throws a jab but it's blocked by Dick.
Dick just misses with a punch to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Liquid Gold showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

Dick has taken the fight to the clinch.
Dick lands a right hand that snaps the head of Gold backwards.
Dick lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Gold backwards.
Dick misses with the head strike.
Dick blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Dick blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Gold creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Nice body punch from Dick - that landed with a thud.
Dick blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Dick blocking some punches.
Dick blocks an uppercut.
Gold misses with some punches.
Dick prevents a body shot from Gold.
Dick lands a left hand that snaps the head of Gold backwards.
Dick swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Dick tries to pull guard but Gold won't allow it.
Gold tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Gold lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Dick blocks an uppercut.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Dick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dick blocking some punches.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
A nice left hand lands by Dick.
Dick tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Gold's elbow.
Dick blocks an uppercut.
Dick dodges an elbow strike from Gold.
Dick throws a head punch that misses.
Gold misses with a punch on the inside.
Dick misses with a hook to the ribs.
Dick goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Gold lands with a light punch inside.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Gold blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Gold's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Dick has a couple of punches blocked by Gold.
Dick lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Dick lands a shoulder strike.
Dick blocks an uppercut.
Dick lands with a left to the head.
Gold misses with the head strike.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dick tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Dick misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Dick lands a shoulder strike.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Gold prevents a body shot from Dick.
Gold misses with a punch on the inside.
Dick misses with a punch on the inside.
Dick stalling.
Dick misses with a hook from the clinch.
Gold makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Dick blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Gold misses with a short punch on the inside.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Gold creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Dick fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Gold scores with an uppercut up the middle.
A head punch on the inside from Gold fails to land.
Dick scores with a nice hook to the head.
Dick scores with a nice hook to the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Dick.
Dick's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Gold working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Gold misses with a hook to the ribs.
Gold tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Dick goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Gold.
A short uppercut from Gold.
Dick softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Gold throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Dicks head.
Liquid Gold is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Dick misses with a punch on the inside.
Dick swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Editiny Dick has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
A short uppercut from Dick.
Dick misses with a punch on the inside.
A short right from Dick.
Gold blocks an uppercut.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Dick doesn't land with the attempted body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Gold blocking some punches.
Gold blocking some punches.
Dick blocks an uppercut.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Dick misses with a hook from the clinch.
Good body shot from Dick.
Gold lands a right hand.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Gold.
Dick taking a breather.
Dick goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Dick presses Gold against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Dick looking to stall.
Gold lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Dick throws a punch but it's blocked by Gold.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Editiny Dick.
I think Gold has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight 29:28
Judge Frank Antenori scores the fight 28:29
Judge Timothy Bukovac scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by split decision... Liquid Gold!
Liquid Gold decided to go for the less than humble approach in his post fight interview, telling everyone how he is going to conquer the world. The crowd seemed to like it when really that sort of approach could have gone either way.
Editiny Dick spoke after the fight, saying 'Good match, and now I'll be going back home to my wife whose as usual, would cuck me'.