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PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Dardan Douchebag (ranked 2177 p4p, 225 weight class) and Miles North (ranked 3804 p4p, 371 weight class). Douchebag comes into the arena with Donkey blaring out of the sound system. North is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Men at Work - Down Under. Both these guys have really solid chins. Will we see a standup war or will they both decide that a knockout is unlikely and try to win the fight elsewhere?



176 cm
27
155 lbs
7 - 5 - 0
194 cm
27
169 lbs
6 - 5 - 0
Abu Dhabi Champ
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible
Excellent grappler
Lethal high kicks
Granite chin


Aspire Clothing


Aspire Clothing


Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Dardan Douchebag!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 5 - 0, fighting out of New York, Miles North!
The judges for this bout are James Ackerman, Daniel Bishop and Colin Fotheringham.




The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Douchebag feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.

North looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
North working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Douchebag.

Douchebag got a little sloppy there for a moment and North has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Douchebag has managed to get both his arms back between North's legs - danger averted.
Douchebag lands a couple of digs.
Douchebag trying to control but North is working from the bottom.
North working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Douchebag.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Douchebag's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Douchebag landing some decent shots from guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
North is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Douchebag throws a big right hand that misses.
Douchebag distracts North with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Douchebag throwing strikes from guard but North blocks nicely.
Douchebag wants to control from the top but North keeps moving.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now North is on top in guard.

Douchebag trying to control the position here.
Douchebag looking for a sweep. Not yet Douchebag, not yet.

Douchebag is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. North is aware though and is defending well.
North working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
North working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Douchebag is trying to control the position from the bottom.
North missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
North scoring with some ground and pound.
Douchebag seems to have improved his submission grappling technique since last time we saw him. Let's see if he can pull off a submission.
Douchebag will have to put a bit more behind his punches if he's going to do any damage from this position.
Douchebag keeping full guard, as North tries to pass.
Douchebag lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.

Douchebag distracts North with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
Douchebag trying to control the position from guard on top but North is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Douchebag postures up in North's guard and throws a big left but North blocks it.
North keeping full guard, as Douchebag tries to pass.
Douchebag throws a strike but North rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.

Douchebag wants to sweep here but North controlling him for the moment.
Douchebag doesn't do any damage with a couple of strikes from the bottom.
North is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
North trying to control the position from guard on top but Douchebag is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
North throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Douchebag works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Douchebag is trying to keep North in close.
Douchebag will have to put a bit more behind his punches if he's going to do any damage from this position.
North distracts Douchebag with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
North trying to control but Douchebag is working from the bottom.

Douchebag is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Douchebag is trying to control the position from the bottom.
North is in close to Douchebag's body, working some short punches and elbows.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
North trying to control but Douchebag is working from the bottom.
In the pre-fight buildup videos we saw North working his ground and pound in the gym.
Douchebag looking for a sweep. Not yet Douchebag, not yet.
North not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
Douchebag will have to put a bit more behind his punches if he's going to do any damage from this position.
North takes a decent strike to the side of the head.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
North works over Douchebag with some ground and pound from guard.
Douchebag throwing rabbit punches from the bottom - showing the judges that he's keeping busy.
Douchebag working a defensive guard here.
Douchebag keeping moving, preventing North from controlling successfully.

North drops back for a leg! It's a sloppy attempt though and North jumps back into guard quickly, to retain the dominant position.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Douchebag keeping moving, preventing North from controlling successfully.
Douchebag wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Dardan Douchebag will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.


Douchebag tries to clinch there but North circles away.
North is looking to score with low kicks.
North throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.

North gets caught napping as Douchebag dives in and scores a takedown. North manages to retain guard.
North keeping moving, preventing Douchebag from controlling successfully.
Dardan Douchebag overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Douchebag throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as North works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Douchebag might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Douchebag chips away with some ground and pound.
Douchebag preventing the sweep.
North keeping moving, preventing Douchebag from controlling successfully.
Douchebag lands a nice shot whilst sitting in his opponent's guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
North preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.

North working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Douchebag doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Douchebag manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Douchebag scoring with some ground and pound.

That's one minute gone in the round.

North is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Douchebag's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Douchebag trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Douchebag looking to sit in guard and control but North gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.


Douchebag is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. North is aware though and is defending well.

Douchebag has his foot on North's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. North works his way back into a safe position though.
Douchebag manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. North manages to get himself to full guard.


North working for a triangle but Douchebag defends it easily.
North preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Douchebag trying to control but North is working from the bottom.
North working a defensive guard here.
Douchebag lands a couple of elbows.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Douchebag accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
North trying to keep a closed guard but Douchebag is proving a slippery customer.
Douchebag trying to control the position from guard on top but North is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Douchebag chips away with some ground and pound.
Douchebag trying to control the position from guard on top but North is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

North has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Douchebag can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Douchebag trying to control the position from guard on top but North is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

North working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Douchebag doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Douchebag manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.

North is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Douchebag defends well.
North has momentary wrist control but Douchebag slips an elbow through the middle.
Douchebag wants to control from the top but North keeps moving.
Douchebag is in close to North's body, working some short punches and elbows.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
Douchebag throws an elbow that misses. North uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Douchebag's guard. Nice move by North!


Douchebag looking for a guillotine here but North defends easily.
North postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
North postures up.
North postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.

North got a little sloppy there for a moment and Douchebag has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, North has managed to get both his arms back between Douchebag's legs - danger averted.
North sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Douchebag throws a nice elbow from the bottom.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dardan Douchebag dominated that second round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!



Douchebag shoots in for a takedown from distance. He catches North napping and manages to drive through into side control!
North gets back to half guard.
Douchebag lands with an elbow from half guard - that looked like it hurt.
North avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Douchebag.
North is pressing down on Douchebag's left leg trying to get back to full guard. He's managed it.
Douchebag passes easily into side control. Nice work.
The strikes coming from Douchebag are missing the target in this wave of attacks.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
North is trying to improve his position.
North is not in a great position here, taking some shots.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Douchebag tries to land with some ground and pound but misses.
North is moving his hips around well on the bottom and has managed to get back to half guard.
Douchebag lands with an elbow from half guard - that looked like it hurt.
Douchebag not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.

North looking for submissions off his back.
Douchebag missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.

Douchebag is working for a kimura but North is defending it quite comfortably.
Douchebag is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that North can do to turn this around?
Douchebag thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed North's head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Douchebag is looking for a kimura here.
Douchebag working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.
Miles North has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Douchebag missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.

North looking for submissions off his back.
Douchebag takes advantage of the dominant position to land a couple of big hammer fists.
Douchebag throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
The fighters are battling for position here. North manages to regain full guard. Nice work.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Douchebag got a little sloppy there for a moment and North has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Douchebag has managed to get both his arms back between North's legs - danger averted.
North takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
North preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Douchebag postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
Douchebag trying to control but North is working from the bottom.
Douchebag is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because North is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.
Douchebag loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Douchebag distracts North with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.

North throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Douchebag is working North over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.


North is rocked!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Douchebag gets to his feet and stands over North, holding his ankles. He dives in with a big left hand that connects! North felt that one! Douchebag unloads more punches and elbows and this one is over! The ref has dived in to save North from any more punishment!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:20 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Dardan Douchebag!
Dardan Douchebag managed to slip a mention for his sponsors, My$tic Clothing ~ (`10%Laundry`), into his post fight interview.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
43%
 
 
 
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