PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Douche Canoe (ranked 1328 p4p, 188 weight class) and Onni Seppala (ranked 2387 p4p, 318 weight class). Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Canoe
vs
Seppala

197 cm
25
215 lbs
11 - 8 - 1

194 cm
24
215 lbs
10 - 7 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

BJJ Purple Belt
World class MT
Granite chin

Bullet Proof System

KOMBAT KLOTHING
XFighter Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 8 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Douche Canoe!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Onni Seppala!
The judges for this bout are Dean Styles, Franklyn Lucas and Eddie Farnsworth.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Seppala with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Canoe to score with a decent uppercut.
Canoe misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Seppala.
Canoe connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Seppala throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Canoe feinted with a counter takedown.
Canoe throws a jab but it's blocked by Seppala.
Canoe sets himself, and Seppala steps forward looking for the clinch! Canoe avoids it this time.
Seppala misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Canoe.
Canoe drops down looking for a counter takedown but Seppala sprawls and moves away.
Seppala misses with a straight right.
Canoe appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Seppala throws a body punch but Canoe moves out of range.
Seppala uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Canoe.
Seppala takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Canoe throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Seppala wants to counter with a clinch but Canoe pushes him away.
Seppala throws a right hand that Canoe ducks under and follows up with a left that Canoe also avoids with ease.
Seppala takes one to the side of the head.
Canoe looks to throw the jab but Seppala is out of range.
Seppala wants to counter the offense by Canoe and move into the clinch position.
Seppala throws a poor cross that misses
and Canoe connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Canoe is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
A big left from Canoe misses.
As Canoe backs off Seppala throws a huge counter combo but Canoe manages to avoid it all.
Seppala scores with the left hand. Canoe knows he should have avoided that one.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Seppala swings and misses with a shot to the body
and Seppala takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Seppala has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
A swing and a miss from Seppala.
Seppala avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Canoe with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Seppala to score with a decent uppercut.
Canoe misses the shot to the body.
Canoe scores with a hook to the body. Seppala takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Seppala comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Seppala stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Canoe lands with a right hand.
Canoe throws a lazy uppercut
and Seppala counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Canoe lands with a nice body punch.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Canoe takes a swing at Seppala's ribcage but misses.
Seppala thuds his right hand into Canoe's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.

It looks like Douche Canoe has been cut.
Canoe takes one to the side of the head.
Seppala misses the shot to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Seppala throws a jab but it's blocked by Canoe.
Canoe tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Seppala was well out of range. Poor timing from Canoe.
Canoe tries to move into range but Seppala moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Seppala checks a leg kick nicely.
Canoe throws a jab when Seppala was well out of range.
Canoe misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Seppala.
Canoe takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Canoe avoids a punch combination nicely.
Canoe swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Seppala is landing a lot of head punches in this opening round! Canoe had better start moving his head a bit unless he wants his face to turn into pâté.
Canoe throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Canoe cracks a nice hook into Seppala's ribs.
No joy there for Canoe, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Canoe lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Canoe fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Seppala manages to avoid it.
Seppala looks to throw the jab but Canoe is out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A slow jab from Seppala misses its intended target.
Canoe throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Seppala tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Canoe was well out of range. Poor timing from Seppala.
Canoe looks to score with a jab to the body but Seppala is just out of range.
Seppala throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Canoe.
Seppala moves out of range of the strikes.
Seppala is trying to avoid his opponent's strikes and get into the clinch.
Seppala swings wildly with a couple of big hooks

and Canoe counters with a takedown into side control! That could mean trouble for Seppala!
Canoe taking a breather here.
Seppala taking a bit of punishment here - Canoe scoring with strikes.
Sloppy strikes there by Canoe.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Canoe throws an elbow but Seppala slips to the side and avoids it well.
Canoe tries to score with some ground and pound. Seppala controls his posture well this time though and the shots don't do any damage.
Canoe misses with the ground and pound.
Canoe throws a knee to the body but it doesn't do much damage.

Canoe tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.
We've been hearing that Canoe has been drilling a lot of ground and pound in training, so let's see if he get the finish.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Seppala is trying to escape the position but Canoe is controlling the position.
Canoe works a knee to the body and follows up with a nice elbow to the head.
Seppala is trying to control Canoe's posture but Canoe avoids it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Douche Canoe dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Douche Canoe's cut.
That's time! Canoe's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Seppala misses with a body shot.
A telegraphed right hand from Seppala misses the target.
Canoe appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Canoe is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Seppala can do to turn this around?
Canoe misses the shot to the body.
Seppala lands a body shot.
Canoe connects with a body shot.
Canoe fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Seppala manages to avoid it.
Seppala throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Seppala misses with the combination.
It looked like Canoe wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Left hook, right uppercut from Seppala.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Seppala throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Canoe sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Canoe avoids the body shot from Seppala.
Seppala has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Seppala there as he acknowledges the shot.
Seppala ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Canoe connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Canoe throws a lazy right hand but Seppala sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Seppala wants to clinch but Canoe slips to the side
and Canoe counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Canoe moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Canoe uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Seppala.
Canoe looks to score with a jab to the body but Seppala is just out of range.
A big left from Seppala misses.
Canoe misses with a jab, cross combination.
Canoe throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Seppala.
Seppala tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Canoe was well out of range. Poor timing from Seppala.
Canoe tries to counter with a takedown but Seppala is quick to defend against it.
Canoe thuds his right hand into Seppala's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Canoe misses with a straight right.
Douche Canoe is winning the standup battle so far.
Canoe ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Seppala moves away.
Canoe lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Canoe needs to keep his hands up - Seppala had a free shot at his head there.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Canoe avoids the body shot from Seppala.
Canoe swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Seppala throws a lazy uppercut
and Canoe connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Canoe takes a swing at Seppala's ribcage but misses.
Canoe misses with a hook.
Canoe throws an overhand right that lands on Seppala's shoulder, as Seppala tries to avoid the shot.
Seppala smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Canoe dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Canoe misses with an uppercut.
Seppala's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Canoe connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Seppala scrambles back to his feet.
Seppala jabs Canoe right on the nose. Canoe blinks but takes it well.
Seppala misses the body punch

and Canoe counters with a nice shoot takedown that brings the fighters to the ground.

Seppala has managed to wall walk up one of the corner posts to get back to his feet. Canoe is pushing him up against the cage, looking to control the position.
Seppala tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Canoe pushes Seppala back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Seppala tries a body shot but Canoe blocks it.
Seppala misses with some punches.
Canoe tries a body shot but Seppala blocks it.
Seppala working aggressively here.
Canoe pushes Seppala back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Canoe misses with a body punch.
Canoe lands a left hand that snaps the head of Seppala backwards.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Canoe.
Canoe scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Canoe has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. Seppala is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
Seppala lands a left hand that snaps the head of Canoe backwards.
Canoe makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Seppala tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Canoe's elbow.

Canoe breaks from the clinch.
Canoe misses with an uppercut. Seppala saw that one coming.
Canoe pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Canoe connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Seppala defending well as Canoe loads up on a big left hand.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Seppala stuns Canoe with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Canoe with a jab.
Canoe jabs Seppala right on the nose. Seppala blinks but takes it well.
Seppala throws a one two combo.
Seppala fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Canoe manages to avoid it.
Seppala misses with a series of wild punches.
Canoe scores with a nice head shot.
Seppala takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Seppala avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Canoe sets himself, and Seppala steps forward looking for the clinch! Canoe avoids it this time.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Canoe scores with a jab to the jaw.
Seppala avoids the body shot from Canoe.
A big left from Canoe misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Douche Canoe dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Douche Canoe's cut.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! And we move into the final round!

Seppala takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Seppala misses with a series of wild punches.
Seppala throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Canoe scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Canoe misses the shot to the body.
Canoe sets himself, and Seppala steps forward looking for the clinch! Canoe avoids it this time.
Seppala misses with a straight right.
Canoe fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Seppala manages to avoid it.
A looping hook to the body misses from Canoe. Seppala does a little dance to reset his feet.
Seppala looks to land a combination but Canoe avoids it well.
An attempted straight right counter from Canoe misses the target.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Canoe misses with a looping left.
Canoe swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Seppala ducks under a wild hook from Canoe.
Canoe uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Seppala.
Canoe feinted with a counter takedown.
Canoe will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Canoe moves away from the strike by Seppala.
Seppala misses the shot to the body.
Canoe ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Seppala moves away.
Canoe throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Canoe tests Seppala's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Canoe moves away from the strike by Seppala.
Canoe slips a jab from Seppala.
A punch combination from Seppala misses.
Canoe feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Seppalas jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Canoe lands a really nice looking cross but Seppala seems unphased.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Canoe.
Canoe uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Seppala has time to react.
Seppala throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Canoe sees it coming and avoids it easily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Canoe connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Seppala wants to clinch up but Canoe keeps it at a distance.
Canoe lands a jab to Seppala's midsection.
Canoe lands a jab to Seppala's midsection.
Seppala avoids the body shot from Canoe.
Seppala misses with the combination.
Jab from Canoe.
Seppala uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Canoe.
Canoe misses with a body punch
and Seppala counters with a left to the body.
Canoe fails to land with a series of punches.
Canoe takes one to the chin there.
Canoe tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Seppala was well out of range. Poor timing from Canoe.
Seppala tries to counter by closing the distance.
Onni Seppala has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Seppala displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Canoe throws out the jab.
Nice cross by Canoe.
Seppala ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Canoe uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Seppala.
Canoe ducks under a wild hook from Seppala.
Seppala is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
Seppala gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Canoe misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Seppala.
Seppala doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Canoe uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Seppala.
Canoe moves forwards but Seppala connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Seppala misses with a straight left.
Canoe ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Seppala moves away.
Douche Canoe is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Canoe scores with a shot to the body.
Canoe takes a swing at Seppala's ribcage but misses.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Canoe misses with a wild body shot.
Canoe connects with a body shot.
Seppala pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Canoe is looking to counter punch.
Nice straight punches there by Canoe. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Canoe.
Seppala on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Seppala takes a swing at Canoe's ribcage but misses.
Canoe throws a big shot that misses.
Canoe works the jab nicely.

Canoe is looking for a takedown here. He's shot in and has managed to get it, finishing up in Seppala's half guard.
Seppala wants to stand back up but Canoe manages to pass into side control.

And that's the end of the fight!
Onni Seppala comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Canoe has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Dean Styles scores the fight 29:28
Judge Franklyn Lucas scores the fight 28:28
Judge Eddie Farnsworth scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by majority decision... Douche Canoe!
A less than humble Douche Canoe misjudged his post fight interview somewhat and came across a little too arrogant whilst trying to hype up his own abilities.