PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between FannyPack SissyPants (ranked 42 p4p, 3 weight class) and Thorbjorn Heimendahl (ranked 109 p4p, 5 weight class). SissyPants comes to the cage accompanied by Scooters. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

SissyPants
vs
Heimendahl

194 cm
32
268 lbs
25 - 6 - 0

201 cm
32
262 lbs
24 - 14 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

HELLBENT
Urban Fighter

The Juice Haven

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 25 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, FannyPack SissyPants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 24 - 14 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Thorbjorn Heimendahl!
The judges for this bout are , Don Winkell and Jack Bonds.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Heimendahl pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Heimendahl finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
SissyPants throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
SissyPants swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Heimendahl.

It looks like Thorbjorn Heimendahl has been cut.
SissyPants throws a hook but Heimendahl blocks it.
Heimendahl bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Heimendahl connects with a solid leg kick.
SissyPants throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Heimendahl displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as SissyPants throws out the jab.
Heimendahl swings for the body but SissyPants moves out of range.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
SissyPants looks to score with a jab to the body but Heimendahl is just out of range.
SissyPants checks a leg kick.
A slow jab from SissyPants misses its intended target.
Heimendahl fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and SissyPants has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
SissyPants misses with a hook
and Heimendahl counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Heimendahl steps to the side to avoid the strikes from SissyPants.
Heimendahl throws a body shot but no joy.
Heimendahl uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by SissyPants.
Heimendahl looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
SissyPants throws an off balance right hand
and Heimendahl counters with a straight right hand.
SissyPants misses with a body shot.
SissyPants misses with a looping left.
SissyPants throws a hook to the side of Heimendahl's head but Heimendahl sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
FannyPack SissyPants seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
SissyPants just misses with a punch to the body.
SissyPants throws a body shot but no joy.
Nice uppercut lands for Heimendahl. That snapped SissyPants's head back.

It looks like FannyPack SissyPants has been cut.
SissyPants swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
enabling Heimendahl to counter with a crisp jab.
A solid leg kick lands there for Heimendahl.
SissyPants swings for the body but Heimendahl moves out of range.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Heimendahl thuds his shin into the meat of SissyPants's side.
Jab, jab by Heimendahl - just one landing.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Heimendahl wants to clinch up but SissyPants keeps it at a distance.
SissyPants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Heimendahl manages to avoid it.
Heimendahl cracks SissyPants with a good jab.
Heimendahl dodges the punch combination from SissyPants.
SissyPants sees a low kick coming and goes to check it, but it's actually a body kick and it thuds into his unprotected ribs.
Heimendahl lands with a thumping leg kick.
SissyPants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Heimendahl manages to avoid it.
Heimendahl thows a body kick. SissyPants tries to catch it but that hurt him.
Heimendahl with a nice cross.
Heimendahl pushes SissyPants away with a front kick.
SissyPants is breathing heavily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Heimendahl.
SissyPants walks forward, straight into a front kick from Heimendahl.

SissyPants tries to keep at a distance but Heimendahl has taken the fight into the clinch.
SissyPants doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
SissyPants is really struggling to find his range with his punches. Heimendahl's reach advantage is clearly causing him problems.
Heimendahl lands a right hand that snaps the head of SissyPants backwards.
Heimendahl lands a damaging elbow.
SissyPants tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
SissyPants misses with a punch on the inside.
SissyPants takes an elbow to the forehead.

SissyPants pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
SissyPants misses with a right hand
letting Heimendahl counter with a right hand.
SissyPants will be looking to protect his midsection after taking some solid kicks to the body.
Heimendahl jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Heimendahl keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Heimendahl has been working his punching technique in the buildup to the fight and it appears to be paying off.
SissyPants lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.

Heimendahl moves into the clinch.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Heimendahl blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Heimendahl lands a shot to the body.
SissyPants misses with a punch to the body.
Heimendahl creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through SissyPants's defenses.
Heimendahl scores with a nice hook to the head.
Heimendahl lands a right hand.
Heimendahl blocks a punch to the side of the head.
SissyPants struggles to land a body shot inside as Heimendahl controls his hands.

SissyPants manages to break the clinch.
Heimendahl misses with a wild combination.
Heimendahl lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
SissyPants clobbers Heimendahl with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Heimendahl avoids the body shot from SissyPants.
Heimendahl moves into range and lands a nice body kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Thorbjorn Heimendahl dominated that round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
That's time! SissyPants's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Heimendahl connects with a body shot that sends SissyPants's belly button to the back.
SissyPants avoids the head kick by Heimendahl.
SissyPants misses with a shot to the body
and Heimendahl counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
SissyPants throws a looping overhand right but Heimendahl ducks down to avoid it.
Heimendahl tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Heimendahl, right into the meat.
SissyPants lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
Heimendahl lands with a right hand.
Heimendahl slips a straight right by SissyPants.
SissyPants throws a predictable looking body shot
and Heimendahl counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
SissyPants misses with a jab, cross combination.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Nice uppercut there from Heimendahl.
An inside leg kick lands from Heimendahl.
Heimendahl has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Heimendahl looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Heimendahl cracks SissyPants with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
SissyPants seems to be moving with more speed, compared to his last bout. He must have been working on that in the gym.
SissyPants throws a nice looking combination but Heimendahl bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Heimendahl now looks to counter with a shot at the body.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
SissyPants slips a jab and a cross from Heimendahl.
SissyPants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
SissyPants throws a shot from downtown. Heimendahl moves away and avoids it.
Heimendahl thows a body kick. SissyPants tries to catch it but that hurt him.
Heimendahl throws a sloppy head kick and SissyPants moves out of range easily.
Heimendahl throws a leg kick which misses SissyPants's front leg but catches the back leg as SissyPants tries to avoid it.
SissyPants throws a body punch but Heimendahl moves out of range.
Heimendahl looks like he wants to counter punch here.
SissyPants misses with a shot to the body
and Heimendahl counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Heimendahl avoids the body shot from SissyPants.
Heimendahl swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
SissyPants gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Heimendahl.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Heimendahl drops SissyPants with a hook right on the temple. He thinks about going to the ground but SissyPants looks back up at him and smiles so Heimendahl waves him back to his feet - he obviously thinks he can knock him out after that shot landed.

SissyPants is rocked!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Heimendahl throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
Oh SissyPants is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
A solid leg kick lands there for Heimendahl.
Heimendahl throws a leg kick which misses SissyPants's front leg but catches the back leg as SissyPants tries to avoid it.
SissyPants misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Heimendahl.
SissyPants seems to have got his legs back now.
SissyPants throws a looping overhand right but Heimendahl ducks down to avoid it.
SissyPants misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Heimendahl counters with a hugh head kick that removes SissyPants from consiousness! A brutal head kick knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:31 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Thorbjorn Heimendahl!
A relieved looking Thorbjorn Heimendahl thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
FannyPack SissyPants was interviewed post fight and said 'Now I go ride my scooter. That was no fun. And my scooter makes me smile again. Because my scooter is fun.'.