PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Roger Tiddlywinks (ranked 833 p4p, 91 weight class) and Conrad Hauser (ranked 1229 p4p, 137 weight class). Tiddlywinks comes to the cage accompanied by The Seinfeld Intro. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Tiddlywinks
vs
Hauser

197 cm
31
265 lbs
19 - 11 - 0

198 cm
35
257 lbs
10 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
World class MT
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Sin City Allstars
Mockstar Energy Drinks 160Q

Urban Fighter

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 19 - 11 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Roger Tiddlywinks!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Conrad Hauser!
The judges for this bout are Anthony Taglia, Jorge Garcia and Eddie Farnsworth.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Hauser slips under a jab.
A little jabbing left from Hauser on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Tiddlywinks feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Hauser's calf.
Tiddlywinks uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Hauser.
Tiddlywinks scores with a jab. Hauser acknowledges it with a nod of the head.

It looks like Conrad Hauser has been cut.
Tiddlywinks takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Tiddlywinks misses with an uppercut.
Tiddlywinks wants to slow Hauser down by chopping away at his legs.
A cross from Hauser lands.
An inside leg kick from Hauser misses.
Tiddlywinks tries to land a front kick but Hauser steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Hauser.
A head kick misses from Tiddlywinks.
Hauser avoids the head kick by Tiddlywinks.
Hauser avoids a kick to the body.
Tiddlywinks misses with a few strikes there.
Hauser scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Hauser will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
A nice inside leg kick there by Hauser. That's going to slow Tiddlywinks down.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Hauser. Tiddlywinks shrugs it off though.
Tiddlywinks tries to bum rush Hauser with a series of wild strikes but Hauser uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
A countering left hand to the body from Hauser misses.
Tiddlywinks throws a nice inside leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Hauser scores with a kick to the midsection.
Nice cross by Tiddlywinks.
Hauser lands with a two punch combination before moving back out of range.

It looks like Roger Tiddlywinks has been cut.
Hauser slips a jab and a cross from Tiddlywinks.
Tiddlywinks is breathing heavily.
Hauser looks to land a combination but Tiddlywinks avoids it well.
Tiddlywinks seem to be loading up, looking for a big counter.
Hauser misses with a looping right.
Hauser walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Tiddlywinks checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Hauser throws a leg kick but Tiddlywinks moved away.
Hauser throws a body shot but no joy.
Hauser misses with a low kick.
Tiddlywinks throws a body punch but Hauser moves out of range.
Tiddlywinks connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Tiddlywinks defending well as Hauser loads up on a big left hand.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Hauser looks to land a right hand but Tiddlywinks moved out of range.
Hauser missing with a left hand there. Tiddlywinks was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Tiddlywinks throws a head kick that misses.
Tiddlywinks throws out a leg kick but Hauser moves out of range and Tiddlywinks only half commits.
Hauser blocks a head kick by Tiddlywinks.
Hauser cracks Tiddlywinks with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Tiddlywinks throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Hauser thows a left - swing and a miss!
Tiddlywinks misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
A combination from Tiddlywinks does no damage.
A jab from Hauser misses.
Hauser attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Hauser is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Tiddlywinks.
We can't be sure of the tactics at this early stage but we have heard that Hauser has been working on his takedowns a lot in the buildup to the fight and we can only assume he's going to look to take this to the mat.
Tiddlywinks moves out of range of the body kick from Hauser.
Tiddlywinks takes a swing at Hauser's ribcage but misses.
Hauser missing with a left hand there. Tiddlywinks was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Tiddlywinks pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Hauser is looking for the big counter here.
Hauser feints a jab promting Tiddlywinks to slip. Hauser then demonstrates his capabilities by jabbing again. Tiddlywinks slips again and ducks right into an uppercut.
Hauser dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Tiddlywinks checks a leg kick.
Tiddlywinks went nuts there looking for a big combo counter but none of the flurry connected.
Tiddlywinks lands with a straight right. Hauser didn't see that one coming.
Nice body kick there by Hauser.
Hauser lands with a good body shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Hauser connects with a looping right hand.
Tiddlywinks misses with a low kick.
Hauser swings for the body but Tiddlywinks moves out of range.
Tiddlywinks lands with a kick to the temple. Hauser shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
Tiddlywinks tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Hauser tries a quick counter leg kick but Tiddlywinks is wise to it.
Tiddlywinks throws a leg kick
enabling Hauser to counter with a crisp jab.
Tiddlywinks goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Hauser connects with a good straight punch right through the guard and follows up with a right hook and a left hook! That last one sent Tiddlywinks tumbling to the canvas! Hauser pours on the pressure with more strikes and the referee has no hesitation diving in to stop the fight! Tiddlywinks was done - good stoppage!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:31 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punches). Conrad Hauser!
Our winner, Conrad Hauser, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.
Roger Tiddlywinks spoke after the fight, saying 'I want icecream mom'.