PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 2473 p4p, 0 weight class) and Colin Kaepernick (ranked 2994 p4p, 0 weight class). Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Dickweed
vs
Kaepernick

175 cm
27
225 lbs
6 - 1 - 0

188 cm
40
218 lbs
32 - 22 - 2

BJJ Red Belt
Counter fighter
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Professor Dickweed!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 32 - 22 - 2, fighting out of Montreal, Colin Kaepernick!
The judges for this bout are Robert Douchet, Elvis Blanc and William Peck.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Dickweed uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Kaepernick.

The fight moves into the clinch position.
Kaepernick misses with a punch to the body.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Kaepernick.
Dickweed blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Dickweed blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Kaepernick misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Dickweed trying to control the position but instead, Kaepernick has worked for underhooks and has pushed Dickweed into the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Kaepernick lands a shoulder strike.
Kaepernick lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Dickweed blocking some punches.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kaepernick misses with a punch on the inside.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Dickweed is pushing Kaepernick up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
Dickweed stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Dickweed stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Kaepernick lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Dickweed blocking some punches.
Kaepernick doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Kaepernick misses with some punches.
Dickweed stalling in the clinch but Kaepernick improves position.
Kaepernick tries to work over Dickweed's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Dickweed blocks a body shot from Kaepernick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed blocks a body shot from Kaepernick.
Dickweed has Kaepernick pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Kaepernick manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
Dickweed is trying to drag Kaepernick to the mat but Kaepernick just about manages to keep his footing. He used the cage to his advantage there.
Kaepernick throws a punch but it's blocked by Dickweed.
Kaepernick tries a body shot but Dickweed blocks it.
Kaepernick tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Kaepernick doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Kaepernick lands a hook that snaps the head of Dickweed backwards.
Dickweed controlling the action here for a moment.
Kaepernick tries a body shot but Dickweed blocks it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kaepernick misses with some punches.
Kaepernick doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Kaepernick swings wildly with an uppercut but Dickweed uses good head movement to avoid it.
Dickweed jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Kaepernick walks away with a smile on his face. Dickweed gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Professor Dickweed. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Kaepernick throws a jab when Dickweed was well out of range.
Dickweed will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Dickweed bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
No luck for Dickweed with that takedown attempt.
It seemed like Kaepernick was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Kaepernick connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Dickweed's hands.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed moves away from the strike by Kaepernick.
Dickweed appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Kaepernick fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Dickweed on the side of the head.
Dickweed closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Kaepernick misses with a looping right.
Dickweed shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says Kaepernick as he avoids it easily.
Kaepernick appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Dickweed takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Dickweed takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Dickweed tries to score a power double leg takedown but Kaepernick sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Dickweed somewhat.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Colin Kaepernick dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Kaepernick swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Dickweed.
Dickweed ducks right into an uppercut from Kaepernick.
Kaepernick connects with a crisp jab.
Kaepernick sizes up Dickweed with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.

Dickweed is rocked!
Kaepernick cracks Dickweed with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Oh Dickweed is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Dickweed shoots for a double leg takedown but Kaepernick sprawls well. He's pushed Dickweed's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Kaepernick scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Dickweed doesn't seem bothered though.
Kaepernick pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Kaepernick lands a right hook to the body.
Dickweed seems to have got his legs back now.
Dickweed shoots for a double leg takedown but Kaepernick sprawls well. He's pushed Dickweed's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Colin Kaepernick is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Professor Dickweed. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Dickweed tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Kaepernick swivels and escapes.
Kaepernick misses with a hook.
A slow jab from Kaepernick misses its intended target.
Dickweed with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Kaepernick to score with a decent uppercut.
Kaepernick listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Kaepernick slaps away a takedown attempt from Dickweed, before circling back to the center of the mat.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kaepernick swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Dickweed drops down looking for a counter takedown but Kaepernick sprawls and moves away.
Kaepernick dips to his left and cracks Dickweed with an uppercut!

Dickweed shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Kaepernick is trying to defend but Dickweed finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.
Dickweed wants to free his trapped foot but Kaepernick is holding on for dear life with his legs.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Dickweed seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
Dickweed throws a strike but Kaepernick avoids it easily and moves to full guard.
Dickweed chips away with some ground and pound.
Kaepernick has Dickweed pulled in close to control his posture.
Kaepernick working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Dickweed.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Dickweed throws a big elbow that misses.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Kaepernick swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed is fighting to break Kaepernick's control of his arms but Kaepernick is doing a good job of controlling the position at the moment.
Dickweed might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

Dickweed drops back, looking for a kneebar! Kaepernick looks panicked! The fighters roll across the mat, one looking to finish, one looking to escape. Kaepernick looks to have wriggled free... Yes, he's got his leg free and he's dived into side control! Good work there from Kaepernick!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is looking to slip a leg under and get half guard but Kaepernick is one step ahead and moves to full mount!
Dickweed is desperately trying to get back to half guard.
Dickweed gets back to half guard.
Dickweed wants to sweep but Kaepernick has passed to side control!
Dickweed is looking for a sweep.
Dickweed seems a little lost for a moment, as Kaepernick dominates the positioning.
Dickweed manages to get one leg in to regain half guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Colin Kaepernick showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's time! Back to the action! This is the final round!

Kaepernick connects with a right hand. Dickweed shakes it off.
Kaepernick connects with a body shot that sends Dickweed's belly button to the back.

Dickweed shoots in from a long way out. He's driving through with the takedown attempt and he eventually gets it, landing in Kaepernick's guard.

Kaepernick pushes Dickweed off and scrambles back to his feet.
Dickweed takes one to the side of the head.
Kaepernick throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped

and Dickweed counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Dickweed throwing shots but Kaepernick is blocking nicely.

Dickweed seems to be working for a kimura but Kaepernick defends the submission attempt.
Kaepernick has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Dickweed is working away from the top position though.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Kaepernick's head.
Kaepernick avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Dickweed.
Dickweed looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.

Dickweed seems to be looking for submissions.
Dickweed throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.

Dickweed is trying to work for a kimura but Kaepernick is defending well.
Dickweed looks to land a strike but Kaepernick avoids it nicely and regains full guard.
Professor Dickweed has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
Dickweed throwing strikes but missing.
Dickweed chips away with some ground and pound.
Dickweed throws a strike but Kaepernick rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.

Dickweed throwing some rather feeble looking strikes off his back.
Dickweed manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Kaepernick manages to get himself to full guard.

The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed works over Kaepernick with some ground and pound from guard.
Kaepernick working a defensive guard here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed postures up as if he's going to throw some strikes but drops back for an ankle! Kaepernick is in big trouble! He looks ready to tap! But no, he's escaped and dives on top of Dickweed, into his guard.

Dickweed has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.

Kaepernick has a momentary lapse of concentration, allowing Dickweed to throw up a leg and lock on what appears to be a pretty tight triangle! Kaepernick is fighting it off but it's all too little too late - Dickweed pulls down on the head and he's put Kaepernick to sleep! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:42 of round 3, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle). Professor Dickweed!