PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Noddy Holder (ranked 1622 p4p, 77 weight class) and Total Bastard (ranked 2491 p4p, 107 weight class). Holder comes to the cage accompanied by The loudest voice in Tycoon.. Both these guys have really solid chins. Will we see a standup war or will they both decide that a knockout is unlikely and try to win the fight elsewhere?

Holder
vs
Bastard

164 cm
19
142 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

168 cm
19
137 lbs
4 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Great elbows
Granite chin

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the bantamweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Noddy Holder!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Total Bastard!
The judges for this bout are George Francis, Robert Twigg and Cecil Peabody.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Holder tries to clinch there but Bastard circles away.

Holder clinches up against the cage.
Holder pressing his opponent against the cage.
Bastard tries to break free but Holder pushes him back against the cage.
Holder pushes off an throws an elbow but Bastard leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Bastard pushes Holder back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Holder prevents a body shot from Bastard.
Bastard wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Holder has him pressed against the cage.
Bastard tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Bastard wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Holder has him pressed against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Holder just misses with a elbow thrown towards Bastard's brow.
A short right from Bastard on the inside.
Holder blocking some punches.
Bastard tries to throw a body punch but Holder avoids it by throwing Bastard back against the cage.
Bastard misses with a punch on the inside.

Bastard breaks the clinch.
Noddy Holder seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Holder tries to clinch there but Bastard circles away.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Holder rushes Bastard and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Bastard blocking some punches.
Bastard lands a hook that snaps the head of Holder backwards.
Holder misses with an elbow over the top.
Holder tries to work over Bastard's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Bastard wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Holder creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Bastard blocks an elbow strike.
Bastard working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Nice elbow from Holder.

It looks like Total Bastard has been cut.
Bastard has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Bastard is trying to force a seperation but Holder has the dominant position.

Bastard's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
A looping hook to the body misses from Bastard. Holder does a little dance to reset his feet.
Holder ducks under a wild hook from Bastard.
Bastard misses with a looping left.
Bastard scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Holder tries to clinch
and Bastard counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Bastard throws a nice looking combination but Holder bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Holder tries to clinch up.
Holder is looking to clinch but Bastard is avoiding it.
Bastard throws out a counter right but Holder avoids it with no problem.
Holder closes the distance looking to clinch
enabling Bastard to counter with a crisp jab.
Bastard fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Holder manages to avoid it.
Holder fails with an attempt to clinch.
Holder takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Bastard swats away the attempt to clinch by Holder.
Bastard has been working on his striking defense in training and it's paying off as Holder is landing a low percentage of strikes.
Bastard throws an overhand right that lands on Holder's shoulder, as Holder tries to avoid the shot.
Holder is looking light on his feet compared to last time was saw him fight.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bastard misses with a hook. Holder ducked under it nicely.
Bastard lands a jab.
Holder tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Bastard manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Holder tries to clinch but Bastard moves out of range.

Holder drives through and clinches with Bastard against the cage.
Bastard scores with a nice hook to the head.
Holder slowing the pace effectively.
Bastard scores with a nice hook to the head.
Holder misses with a knee to the head.
Holder is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Bastard is defending well for now.
Bastard tries to break free but Holder pushes him back against the cage.
Bastard managing to block the knees to the body from Holder.
Bastard throws a punch but it's blocked by Holder.

Bastard breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Bastard lands with a hook. Holder tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Bastard misses with a wild body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bastard fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Holder manages to avoid it.
Holder darts in trying to clinch
and Bastard counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Holder tries to clinch there but Bastard circles away.
Holder is looking to clinch.

Holder clinches up with Bastard and pushes him back against the cage.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Bastard creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Bastard scores with a nice hook to the head.
Holder looks to throw an elbow but misses.

Bastard breaks from the clinch.
Bastard keeps the fight on the outside.
Bastard throws the left hand but Holder avoids the punch easily.
Bastard scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Holder tries to clinch there but Bastard circles away.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Total Bastard dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Total Bastard's cut.
That's time! Holder's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Bastard gets tackled into the cage by Holder. Holder maintains the clinch.
Holder's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Bastard tries to break free but Holder pushes him back against the cage.
Bastard wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Holder just leaning against Bastard, taking a breather.
Bastard can't break the clinch.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Holder just misses with a elbow thrown towards Bastard's brow.
Total Bastard seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Holder throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Holder lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Bastard lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Holder.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bastard is looking to break free of the clinch but Holder has double underhooks.
Holder is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
Bastard avoids a wild elbow strike from Holder.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Holder swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Bastard lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.

Bastard manages to break the clinch.
Holder closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.

Holder moves into the clinch successfully.
Bastard lands a shot to the body.
Holder prevents Bastard from breaking the clinch.
Bastard wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Bastard tries to break free but Holder pushes him back against the cage.
Come on Holder - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
Bastard can't break the clinch.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Holder misses with a shot to the kidneys.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Bastard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Bastard can't break the clinch.
Holder looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Bastard works on Holder's body with a couple of short punches.
Holder lands a damaging elbow.
Holder keeps control of Bastard as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Bastard lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.

Bastard's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Holder tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Bastard counters with a left and a right that stings Holder.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Bastard misses the shot to the body.
Bastard throws a hook to the side of Holder's head but Holder sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Holder tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Bastard paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Bastard swings for the body but Holder moves out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bastard takes a swing at Holder's ribcage but misses.
Holder wants to clinch up but Bastard keeps it at a distance.

Holder clinches with his opponent.
Bastard lands a nice uppercut.
Bastard blocks an elbow strike from Holder.
Holder misses with an elbow over the top.
Bastard managing to block the knees to the body from Holder.
Bastard wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Holder lands an elbow inside that Bastard shrugs off.
A bit of stalling here from Holder.
Bastard tries to break the clinch but Holder is controlling the position.

Bastard breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Holder avoids the body shot from Bastard.
Holder is looking to counter the offense by Bastard and move into the clinch.
Holder takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.

Holder closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Holder pushes off an throws an elbow but Bastard leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bastard working hard to break the clinch.
Bastard avoids a wild elbow strike from Holder.
Bastard looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.

Bastard manages to break the clinch.
Sloppy strikes from Bastard. Those never looked like landing.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Holder moves forwards but Bastard connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Bastard throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Holder moves to clinch but Bastard breaks away
and Holder takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Bastard misses with an uppercut.
Bastard throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Holder gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Bastard.
Bastard avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Bastard! But no joy.
Holder tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Bastard counters with a left to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Total Bastard showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Total Bastard's cut.
That's time! Back to the action!

A jab from Bastard finds it's way through Holder's defenses.
Holder tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and Holder takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Bastard slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.

Holder fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Bastard, pushing him back against the cage.
Holder misses with an elbow over the top.
Bastard dodges an elbow strike from Holder.
Bastard wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Holder has him pressed against the cage.
Holder throws an elbow but it's blocked.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bastard blocks an elbow strike.
Holder throws an elbow that misses.
Bastard has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Holder throws an elbow that misses.
Bastard managing to block the knees to the body from Holder.
Holder misses with a knee strike.

Bastard breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Holder tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Bastard doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
Holder wants to clinch.
Holder wants to clinch.
Holder darts in trying to clinch
and Bastard counters with a stiff right hand.
Bastard darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Holder tries to clinch but Bastard is having none of it.
Bastard throws out a counter right but Holder avoids it with no problem.

Holder darts in and clinches Bastard up against the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Holder gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Holder throws an elbow but it misses.
Bastard avoids the elbow strike from Holder, against the cage.
Bastard lands with a left to the head.
Holder tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Bastard wants to get back to striking at distance but Holder won't allow it.
Holder has Bastard pressed against the cage.
Bastard struggles to land a body shot inside as Holder controls his hands.
Holder trying to control the position but instead, Bastard has worked for underhooks and has pushed Holder into the cage.
Bastard tries to throw a body punch but Holder avoids it by throwing Bastard back against the cage.
Bastard tries to work over Holder's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Bastard wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Bastard lands a shoulder strike.
With the fighters up against the cage, Holder throws an elbow but misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bastard has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Holder pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Bastard is working Holder over against the cage.
Holder pushes off an throws an elbow but Bastard leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Bastard misses with a short punch on the inside.
Holder prevents Bastard from breaking the clinch.
Bastard wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Holder lands an elbow just above Bastard 's eye.
Bastard cracks Holder with a nice body shot.

Bastard manages to break the clinch.
Bastard scores with a nice strike.

Holder darts in and clinches Bastard up against the cage.
Holder comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
Holder prevents Bastard from breaking the clinch.
Good body shot from Bastard.
Bastard lands with a short shot to the head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Holder creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Bastard throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Bastard is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Bastard tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Bastard blocks an elbow strike from Holder.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Holder will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning Bastard up against the cage.
Bastard dodges an elbow strike from Holder.
Bastard misses with a hook to the ribs.
Bastard scores with a shot to the side of Holder's head.

Bastard escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Total Bastard seems to be getting the better of the standup.

The fight moves into the clinch position.
Holder lands a damaging elbow.

That has opened up Total Bastard's cut even more.
Holder blocks a body shot from Bastard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close third round but Total Bastard just about did enough to take it.
The cut man is working on Total Bastard's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Bastard swats away the attempt to clinch by Holder.
Bastard looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Bastard circles away from the clinch attempt.

Holder takes the fight into the clinch.
Holder blocks an uppercut.

Bastard breaks the clinch.
Danga de danga de dang - Bastard scores with a four punch combination!
Jab, jab by Bastard - just one landing.
Holder darts in trying to clinch
and Holder takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bastard misses with a hook

and Holder moves into the clinch.
Bastard dodges an elbow strike from Holder.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bastard works on Holder's body with a couple of short punches.
Bastard tries to break the clinch but Holder is controlling the position.
Bastard lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Bastard wants to break the clinch but can't.
Holder throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Holder stalling against the cage.
Bastard has had enough of the clinch but Holder keeps him there for the moment.
Holder blocks an uppercut.
Bastard doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Bastard wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Holder misses with an elbow strike.

Bastard breaks from the clinch.
Holder is looking to clinch.
Holder wants to clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Holder tries to clinch up.
Holder tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Bastard counters with a stiff right hand.
Holder tries to clinch up.
Holder is looking to clinch.
Bastard circles away from the clinch attempt
enabling Bastard to counter with a crisp jab.
Holder tries to clinch up but Bastard circles away and keeps his distance.
Holder tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and Bastard makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bastard lands a nice looking body shot.
Bastard throws a shot from downtown. Holder moves away and avoids it.
Holder is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Bastard looks to throw the jab but Holder is out of range.
Bastard throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Holder tries to counter by clinching up but Bastard breaks away and moves out of range.
Bastard misses with a body shot.
Holder tries to clinch but Bastard moves out of range.
Holder tries to clinch there but Bastard circles away.
Bastard looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Bastard avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Bastard appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Holder tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Bastard circles away from the clinch attempt.
Holder has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Holder there as he acknowledges the shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Holder tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Bastard digs a good hook to Holder's body.

Holder has closed the distance and engaged Bastard in a clinch.

Bastard's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Holder tries to clinch there but Bastard circles away.

Holder has closed the distance and engaged Bastard in a clinch.
With the fighters up against the cage, Holder throws an elbow but misses.

Bastard escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Bastard jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Bastard circles away from the clinch attempt.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Bastard! But no joy.
Holder tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.

Bastard gets tackled into the cage by Holder. Holder maintains the clinch.
Holder has Bastard pressed against the cage, preventing Bastard from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Total Bastard dominated that fourth round.
The cut man is working on Total Bastard's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Holder darts in trying to clinch
and Bastard counters with a straight right hand.
Holder ducks under a wild hook from Bastard.
Holder wants to take advantage of his opponent's missed offense by moving into the clinch.
Bastard tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Holder was well out of range. Poor timing from Bastard.
Holder wants to clinch but Bastard slips to the side
and Bastard counters with a nice uppercut.

Holder darts in and clinches Bastard up against the cage.
Bastard wants to break the clinch but can't.
Holder keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Bastard's efforts to push away.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Holder lands an elbow inside that Bastard shrugs off.
Bastard avoids a wild elbow strike from Holder.
Holder throws an elbow but it misses.
Bastard takes an elbow to the forehead.
Bastard wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Holder is stalling here.
Bastard scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Holder blocking some punches.
Bastard wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Holder has him pressed against the cage.
Holder throws an elbow that misses.
Bastard wants to break the clinch but can't.
Holder looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Holder blocks an uppercut.

Bastard breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Bastard misses with a wild body shot.
Holder fails in his attempt to clinch.

Holder moves into range and clinches up with Bastard.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Holder just misses with a elbow thrown towards Bastard's brow.

Bastard manages to break the clinch.
Holder is looking to clinch.
Noddy Holder has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Total Bastard is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Holder closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Bastard wants to break the clinch but can't.
With the fighters up against the cage, Holder throws an elbow but misses.
Bastard wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Bastard throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Holders head.
Holder looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Bastard has a couple of punches blocked by Holder.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Holder.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bastard avoids the elbow strike from Holder, against the cage.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.

Bastard manages to break the clinch.
Holder looks to clinch
and Bastard counters with a nice uppercut.
Holder tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Bastard manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Holder tries to clinch but Bastard moves away
and Bastard counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Bastard is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Holder tries to clinch up
and Bastard counters with a stiff right hand.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bastard lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
Bastard circles away from the clinch attempt.
Holder tries to clinch up
and Bastard counters with a left to the body.
Holder misses with a hook
and Bastard counters with a lovely shot to the body.
A slow jab from Holder misses its intended target.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Holder tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and Bastard counters with a stiff right hand.

And that's the end of the fight!
Total Bastard comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Bastard winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge George Francis scores the fight 45:50
Judge Robert Twigg scores the fight 45:50
Judge Cecil Peabody scores the fight 45:50

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Total Bastard!
Total Bastard is the new bantamweight champion!
A very excited looking Total Bastard made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.
In defeat, Noddy Holder stepped up to the mic, saying 'It's CHRISTMAS!!!'.