PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Milktoast Diddlybottom (ranked 1901 p4p, 201 weight class) and Qhorin Halfhand (ranked 1525 p4p, 166 weight class). Diddlybottom comes to the cage accompanied by Milquetoast. The crowd seem to be enjoying Halfhand's choice of entrance music: Portugal. The Man - Feel It Still. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Diddlybottom
vs
Halfhand

213 cm
32
277 lbs
15 - 15 - 0

195 cm
26
270 lbs
11 - 7 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Pit Bull Development
Urban Fighter

HELLBENT
Sin City Allstars

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 15 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Milktoast Diddlybottom!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 11 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Qhorin Halfhand!
The judges for this bout are James Atkins, Chris Edwards and Sam Margolis.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Halfhand takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?

Diddlybottom dives in and scores a takedown into Halfhand's guard.
Diddlybottom will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Halfhand keeping full guard, as Diddlybottom tries to pass.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Diddlybottom is fighting to break Halfhand's control of his arms but Halfhand is doing a good job of controlling the position at the moment.
Halfhand keeping moving, preventing Diddlybottom from controlling successfully.
Diddlybottom stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Halfhand swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Diddlybottom stands and throws Halfhand's legs to the side, diving into side control.

Diddlybottom thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Diddlybottom working away.
Halfhand really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Diddlybottom. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
Diddlybottom is looking to take a break and control but Halfhand is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Halfhand tries to buck Diddlybottom off but Diddlybottom is having none of it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Diddlybottom is looking to take a break and control but Halfhand is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Halfhand can't do much from the bottom here.

Diddlybottom is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. Halfhand knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.

Diddlybottom thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.
Halfhand is looking to reverse the position.
Halfhand is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.

Diddlybottom tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.
Diddlybottom trying to control the position but Halfhand is working away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Halfhand struggling a bit here.

Diddlybottom looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Diddlybottom trying to control the position but Halfhand is working away.
Diddlybottom tries to advance to mount but can't.

Diddlybottom tries for a kimura but Halfhand is defending well.
Halfhand is trying to improve his position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom moves into full mount!

Diddlybottom is thinking about an arm triangle here, looking to tighten it up before moving to side control. Halfhand can see it coming though and defends well with a couple of strikes to the head and some good arm positioning.
Diddlybottom seems to be looking to move to his opponent's back but Halfhand is holding on tight.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Halfhand tries to hold on but Diddlybottom pushes him away.
Halfhand regains half guard.

Diddlybottom is looking for a kimura but Halfhand is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Diddlybottom to get the leverage.
Halfhand trying to hold on to Diddlybottom's head to control him but Diddlybottom postures up.
Diddlybottom wants to pass the guard but Halfhand is defending well.
Halfhand trying to control from the bottom.
Diddlybottom missing with the ground and pound from half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom is looking to advance position but Halfhand won't allow it.
Halfhand is trying to maintain the position but Diddlybottom is very close to passing his half guard.

Diddlybottom is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.
Diddlybottom wants to pass to mount but Halfhand is defending the position.
Diddlybottom is looking to take a break and control but Halfhand is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Halfhand is looking to improve his position.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!

Diddlybottom is working for a kimura but Halfhand is defending it quite comfortably.

Diddlybottom is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Milktoast Diddlybottom dominated that round.
That's time! Diddlybottom's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Halfhand tries a low kick but Diddlybottom avoids it.
Diddlybottom uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Halfhand.
Diddlybottom tries to counter with a takedown but Halfhand is quick to defend against it.
Qhorin Halfhand seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Halfhand throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Diddlybottom is trying to close the distance and clinch up, after that failed offence from Halfhand.
Diddlybottom lands a lovely overhand right.
A head kick misses from Halfhand.
Halfhand lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Halfhand lands a head kick!

It looks like Milktoast Diddlybottom has been cut.

Halfhand gets a double leg takedown into Diddlybottom's guard.
Halfhand postures up in Diddlybottom's guard and throws a big left but Diddlybottom blocks it.

Diddlybottom is looking for a triangle but Halfhand pushes his legs off easily.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Halfhand is working Diddlybottom over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
Diddlybottom trying to control the position here.
Halfhand is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
Diddlybottom is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Halfhand can do to turn this around?

That's one minute gone in the round.

Diddlybottom has his foot on Halfhand's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Halfhand works his way back into a safe position though.
Diddlybottom preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Diddlybottom avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Halfhand working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.

Halfhand throws a sloppy strike and Diddlybottom has hooked up an armbar on the loose arm! He's turned and extended fully! Halfhand is forced to tap! Great BJJ from Diddlybottom!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:35 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Milktoast Diddlybottom!
Milktoast Diddlybottom managed to slip a mention for his sponsors, Pit Bull Development, into his post fight interview.
In defeat, Qhorin Halfhand stepped up to the mic, saying 'Hard times, man. Hard times.'.