PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Lazy Bastard (ranked 1110 p4p, 132 weight class) and Benz Bulver (ranked 1855 p4p, 219 weight class). Bulver has chosen Little Eagle Soars as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. Lazy Bastard has a significant reach advantage - let's see if he can make it count.

Bastard
vs
Bulver

190 cm
24
162 lbs
18 - 10 - 1

170 cm
28
160 lbs
12 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Freebok (85% Laundry)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 18 - 10 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Lazy Bastard!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 5 - 0, fighting out of New York, Benz Bulver!
The judges for this bout are Sam Margolis, William Gold and Donald Grub.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bulver slips under a jab.
Bastard loads up on a big right hand but Bulver slips the punch.
Bastard swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Bulver has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Bulver moves out of range of the strikes.
Bulver looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Bastard really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Bastard swinging wildly here.
Bastard takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Bastard misses with a right hand
and Bulver counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Bastard smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Bulver ducks under a wild hook from Bastard.
Bastard throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Bulver counters with a nice uppercut.

Bastard is rocked!
Bulver staying out of range there.
Oh Bastard is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Bastard checks a low kick from Bulver.
Bastard seems to have got his legs back now.
Bulver thows a left - swing and a miss!
Bastard misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Bulver.
Bulver flicks out a counter leg kick but Bastard steps away.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Bastard lands an overhand right.
Bastard throws a jab but it's blocked by Bulver.
Bulver uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Bastard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bulver connects with an inside leg kick.
Bastard throws a poor cross that misses
enabling Bulver to counter with a crisp jab.
Bulver tests Bastard's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Lazy Bastard seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Donk. Bastard catches Bulver right on the button with a cross.
Bastard ducks under a wild hook from Bulver.
A decent looking cross lands there for Bastard.
Bastard misses with a straight left.
Bastard keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Bulver.
Bastard misses with a looping left.
Bastard misses with a hook
and Bulver counters with a straight right hand.
Bulver turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Bastard throws a predictable looking body shot
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Bulver fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Bulver throws a looping overhand right but Bastard ducks down to avoid it.
Bulver throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Bastard sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Bastard thows a left - swing and a miss!
Bulver throws out a counter right but Bastard avoids it with no problem.
Bulver smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bastard fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Bulver lands with a shot to the body.
Bulver walks into a straight right hand from Bastard.
Bulver takes a swing at Bastard's ribcage but misses.
Bastard appears to be looking for a counter punch to the body.
Bulver bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Bulver misses with a hook.
Bastard throws a big shot that misses.
Bastard scores with a three punch combo!
Bastard is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
Bulver throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Bastard sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Bastard misses with a two punch combination.
Bulver takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Bulver cracks Bastard with a right hand to the side of the head.
Bulver has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Bulver there as he acknowledges the shot.
Bastard fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Bulver moves out of range of the strikes.
Bulver let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.
Bastard slips under a jab.
Nice shot lands for Bulver.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bastard throws a hook but Bulver avoids it easily.
Bulver throws a hook but Bastard blocks it.
Bulver on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Bastard throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Bastard connects with a single shot there.
Bulver throws a hook but Bastard avoids it easily.
Bastard went nuts there looking for a big combo counter but none of the flurry connected.
Bastard getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Bastard misses with a hook.
A combination from Bastard does no damage.
Bulver only half commits to the counter leg kick.
Bastard throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Bulver sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Jab from Bastard.
Bulver looks to score with a jab to the body but Bastard is just out of range.
Bulver swinging wildly here.
Bastard lands with a nice body punch.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Bastard connects with a body shot.
Bulver drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bastard lands a slapping body shot.
Bastard swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
A right-left combo lands from Bastard.

Bulver is rocked!
Bastard takes one to the chin there.
Bulver is still on wobbly legs! Can Bastard finish him?
Bastard swings for the body but Bulver moves out of range.
Bulver seems to have recovered his senses.
Bulver throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Bastard on the side of the head.
Bulver throws a body punch but Bastard moves out of range.
Bulver has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Bastard finds it's way round the side to connect with Bulver's head.
A slow jab from Bulver misses its intended target.
Bastard looks to land a right hand but Bulver moved out of range.
Bastard tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Bulver was well out of range. Poor timing from Bastard.
Bastard lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Bulver circles away quickly and effectively.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Bastard throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Bastard throws a combination that misses
and Bulver connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Bulver throws a body punch but Bastard moves out of range.
Bastard misses with a looping right.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Lazy Bastard dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Bulver throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Bulver throws a jab when Bastard was well out of range.
Bastard slips a straight right by Bulver.
Bastard dips to his left and cracks Bulver with an uppercut!
Bastard bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Bulver throws a solid leg kick but Bastard takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Bulver.
Bulver swings for the body but Bastard moves out of range.
Bulver moves out of range as Bastard strikes.
A shot to the body from Bastard misses
and Bulver counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Bulver throws a nice inside leg kick.
A left and a right from Bastard both land. Nice combination.
Bastard looks to throw the jab but Bulver is out of range.
A slapping leg kick lands for Bulver.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Bulver tries to bum rush Bastard with a series of wild strikes but Bastard uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Bastard missing with a left hand there. Bulver was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Bulver throws out a counter right but Bastard avoids it with no problem.
Bulver throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Bulver steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Bastard.
Bulver staying out of range there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bastard misses with a lunging right hand
and Bulver counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Bastard thows a left - swing and a miss!
Bastard throws a lazy uppercut
and Bulver counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Bastard cracks Bulver with an open hand slap.
Both these guys seem content to just stand up and trade with eachother but Bulver might want to think about changing up his gameplan a bit because over the course of the fight, Bastard has got the better of the exchanges.
Bastard misses the shot to the body.
Lazy Bastard is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Bulver misses with a body shot.
Bastard drops his hands momentarily and Bulver takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Bulver paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Bastard misses with a shot to the body
and Bulver counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Bastard connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Bulver throws a front kick aimed at Bastard's knee but Bastard avoids it well.
Bulver throws a body punch but Bastard moves out of range.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Bulver looks to land a right hand but Bastard moved out of range.
Bastard moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Bastard works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Bastard takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Bastard throws a body shot but no joy.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bulver throws a head kick that misses.
Bastard swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Bastard misses with a two punch combination.
Bulver appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Bulver slips under a jab from Bastard.
Bulver misses with a hook.
A swing and a miss from Bastard.
Bulver throws a front kick aimed at Bastard's knee but Bastard avoids it well.
Lazy Bastard is winning the standup battle so far.
Bastard scores with a nice head shot.
Bulver avoids the body shot from Bastard.
Bastard lands with a shot to the body.
Bastard looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Bulver throws a sloppy head kick and Bastard moves out of range easily.
A big left from Bastard misses.
A slow jab from Bastard misses its intended target.
Bastard moves out of range as Bulver strikes.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
Nice body punch from Bulver.
Bastard throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Bulver sees it coming and avoids it easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bulver turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Bastard throws a hook but Bulver avoids it easily.
Bastard blocks a head kick by Bulver.
Bulver misses the jab.
It looked like Bastard wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Bulver fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Bastard looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Bastard misses with a lunging right hand
letting Bulver counter with a right hand.
Bulver avoids the body shot from Bastard.
A looping hook to the body misses from Bastard. Bulver does a little dance to reset his feet.
Bastard misses with a double jab
and Bulver counters with a good low kick that Bastard was not able to check.
Bulver looks to score with a jab to the body but Bastard is just out of range.
Bulver throws a leg kick
and Bastard connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Bulver slips under a jab from Bastard.
Bulver pushes Bastard away with a front kick.
Bastard throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Bastard blocks a jab.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bastard misses with a wild body shot.
Bastard slips a jab and a cross from Bulver.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
A big right from Bastard misses.
Bulver looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Bulver blocks a jab.
Bulver doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
Bulver connects with a right hand. Bastard shakes it off.
Bastard moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Bastard uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Bulver.
Bastard rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
enabling Bulver to counter with a crisp jab.
Bulver lands a nice looking body shot.
Bastard throws a jab but it's blocked by Bulver.
Nice shot by Bulver.
Bastard throws a right and a left that both miss.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Bastard avoids the head kick by Bulver.
Bulver waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Bastard.
Bastard throws a jab but it's blocked by Bulver.
It seemed like Bulver was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Bulver walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Bastard checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Benz Bulver showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Bastard throws a shot from downtown. Bulver moves away and avoids it.
Bastard has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Bastard there as he acknowledges the shot.
Bastard jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Bastard misses with a right hand
and Bulver counters with a straight right hand.
Bastard throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Bulver counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Bulver throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Bulver throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Bastard.
Bastard thows a left - swing and a miss!
Bastard is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Bulver misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Bastard.
Bulver takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
Bastard punishes Bulver's body with a nice straight punch.
Bastard lands with an overhand left.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A jab from Bulver misses.
Bulver slips under a jab from Bastard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bastard moves out of range of the strikes.
Bastard staying out of range there.
Bulver throws a sloppy head kick and Bastard moves out of range easily.
Bastard just misses with a punch to the body.
Bulver defending well as Bastard loads up on a big left hand.
Bastard jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Bulver only half commits to the counter leg kick.
Bulver uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Bastard.
Nice shot lands for Bulver.
Bulver takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Bulver throws a shot from downtown. Bastard moves away and avoids it.
Bastard throws a big shot that misses.
Bastard throws a shot from downtown. Bulver moves away and avoids it.
Bastard shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Bastard scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!
Bulver throws a looping overhand right but Bastard ducks down to avoid it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Bastard fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Bastard on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Bastard comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Bulver moves out of range as Bastard strikes.
Bastard misses with a body shot.
Bastard misses with a double jab.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
A jab from Bastard finds it's way through Bulver's defenses.
Bastard lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Bulver circles away quickly and effectively.
Bulver looks like he wanted to counter with a high kick but didn't throw it.
Bastard misses with a few strikes there.
A slapping body kick lands there for Bulver.
Bastard throws a lazy uppercut
and Bastard takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Bulver misses with a double jab.
Bastard staying out of range there.
Bastard misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Bastard dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Bulver scores with a hook.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bastard takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Good standup being displayed there by Bastard as he connects with a hook.
Bulver jabs at Bastard's body.
Bulver digs a good hook to Bastard's body.
Bulver loads up on a big right hand but Bastard slips the punch.
Bulver throws a poor cross that misses
letting Bastard counter with a right hand.
Bulver throws a looping overhand right but Bastard ducks down to avoid it.
Bulver connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Bastard works the jab nicely.
Bastard staying out of range there.
Bulver blocks a jab.
Bastard connects with a single shot there.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Bastard swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Bulver throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Bastard ducks right into an uppercut from Bulver.
Bulver thows a left - swing and a miss!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bulver loads up on a big right hand but Bastard slips the punch.
Bastard rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Bulver cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Bastard swings for the body but Bulver moves out of range.
Bastard misses with a wild body shot.
A jab from Bulver misses.
Bastard takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Sloppy strikes from Bastard. Those never looked like landing.
Bastard misses with a wild body shot.
Bulver slips a jab and a cross from Bastard.
It seemed like Bulver was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Bulver thows a leg kick but Bastard checks it
and Bastard counters with a nice uppercut.
Bastard pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Bulver back to the cage. Bastard follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Bastard blocks a jab.
Bulver avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Bulver has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Bulver throws a big shot that misses.
An attempted straight right counter from Bastard misses the target.
A swing and a miss from Bulver.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Lazy Bastard.
Well Bastard has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Sam Margolis scores the fight 29:29
Judge William Gold scores the fight 29:28
Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by majority decision... Lazy Bastard!
An out of breath and clearly excited Lazy Bastard thanked Riner Clothing and Laundry (85%) for their help and support (and free stuff they sent him).
The defeated Benz Bulver had this to say: 'I've been beat on my whole life, this is nothing...'.