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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Rage Parade (ranked 725 p4p, 107 weight class) and Joost Van Buren (ranked 306 p4p, 41 weight class). Parade's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, I KILL Cause I'm Hungry. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.
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| 183 cm
28
205 lbs
12 - 8 - 0 |
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188 cm
27
206 lbs
15 - 5 - 0 |
Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Cardio machine |
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Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
12 - 8 - 0, fighting out of London, Rage Parade!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
15 - 5 - 0, fighting out of New York, Joost Van Buren!
The judges for this bout are Taro Takaoka, Shigeki Fujiwara and Shigeki Sano.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Van Buren rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Parade counters with a nice low kick that buckles Van Buren's knee momentarily.
Parade slips a jab from Van Buren.
Parade wants to take advantage of his opponent's missed offense by moving into the clinch.
Van Buren looks to score with a jab to the body but Parade is just out of range.
Parade is looking to counter the offense by Van Buren and move into the clinch.
Van Buren chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Van Buren darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
It looks like Rage Parade has been cut.
Parade on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Parade moves forwards but Van Buren connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Parade uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Van Buren.
A head kick misses from Parade.
Good shot there by Van Buren.
Parade throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Parade throws a push kick but Van Buren slaps the foot to one side.
Parade with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Van Buren to score with a decent uppercut.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Van Buren throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Parade sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Crunch! Parade slams his shin into Van Buren's torso.
Van Buren misses with a wild body shot.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Van Buren blocks the body kick.
Parade throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Van Buren on the side of the head.
Van Buren misses the shot to the body.
A low kick from Van Buren misses
and Parade makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Van Buren misses with a hook
and Parade counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Van Buren lands with a right hand.
Van Buren swings and misses with a shot to the body
and Parade counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Van Buren misses with a left hand
and Parade counters with a lovely straight right hand!
A shot to the body from Van Buren misses
and Parade counters with a crisp right hand that drops Van Buren! Parade lets Van Buren back up to his feet, looking for a finish!
Van Buren is rocked!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Parade misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Van Buren is still on wobbly legs! Can Parade finish him?
Van Buren throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Parade tries to counter by clinching up but Van Buren breaks away and moves out of range.
Van Buren chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Parade can pounce on him.
Van Buren seems to have recovered his senses.
Van Buren lands the left hand.
Van Buren scores with a jab.
Van Buren takes a swing at Parade's ribcage but misses.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Parade with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Van Buren to score with a decent uppercut.
Van Buren looks to land a combination but Parade avoids it well.
Van Buren misses with a wild body shot.
Van Buren swings for the body but Parade moves out of range.
Van Buren misses with a lunging right hand
and Parade counters with a good low kick that Van Buren was not able to check.
Van Buren misses with a leg kick
and Parade cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Parade instigates a clinch.
A short right from Van Buren on the inside.
A shot in the inside from Parade.
Van Buren blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Van Buren pushes Parade back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Van Buren is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Parade scores with a shoulder strike.
Van Buren tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Parade's elbow.
Parade struggles to land a body shot inside as Van Buren controls his hands.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Van Buren takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Van Buren escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Parade takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
A head kick misses from Van Buren.
Parade lands with a slapping head kick.
Van Buren jabs Parade right on the nose. Parade blinks but takes it well.
Van Buren throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Parade throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Van Buren throws out a counter right but Parade avoids it with no problem.
Joost Van Buren seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Van Buren scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Van Buren comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Van Buren lands a nice looking body shot.
Parade gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Van Buren dodges the punch combination from Parade.
Van Buren throws out a counter right but Parade avoids it with no problem.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
A punch combination from Van Buren misses.
Parade lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Van Buren is landing a lot of head punches in this opening round! Parade had better start moving his head a bit unless he wants his face to turn into pâté.
Jab, jab by Parade - just one landing.
Van Buren throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Parade.
Rage Parade's cut is getting worse.
Parade bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Van Buren misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Parade.
Parade is looking to counter the offense by Van Buren and move into the clinch.
Parade takes one to the chin there.
Van Buren misses with a body shot
and Parade counters with a crisp right hand that drops Van Buren! Parade lets Van Buren back up to his feet, looking for a finish!
Van Buren lands with a good body shot.
Van Buren has done a lot of speed work in the buildup to this fight.
Parade looks for the body kick but Van Buren saw that one coming.
Van Buren scores with a sloppy right hand. Parade should have avoided that one.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
A slapping leg kick lands for Parade.
Parade tries to score with a low kick but Van Buren moves his leg out of the way.
Van Buren looks to throw the jab but Parade is out of range.
Parade takes a shot to the body in his stride.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
That was a close round but I would say that Rage Parade will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Rage Parade's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.
Parade staying out of range there.
Parade throws a low kick but Van Buren avoids it.
Good shot there by Van Buren.
Parade takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
The crowd cheers as Van Buren lands an impressive looking overhand right. Parade doesn't seem phased though.
Van Buren lands a jab.
Parade is rocked!
Parade's corner calls for a 1-2. Parade obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Van Buren misses with a hook.
Parade thows a left - swing and a miss!
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Van Buren misses with a left hand
and Parade counters with a nice body shot.
Parade lands a nice leg kick that just misses Van Buren's sensitive parts.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Parade.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Parade shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Van Buren throws a nice inside leg kick.
Van Buren scores with the left hand. Parade knows he should have avoided that one.
A nice leg kick lands there from Parade.
Parade goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Van Buren swings widly with a right hand
and Parade counters with a body kick that stops Van Buren in his tracks momentarily.
Parade cracks Van Buren with a right hand to the side of the head.
Van Buren throws a body shot but no joy.
Parade moves out of range of the body kick.
Parade looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Parade takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
Van Buren changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Parade staying out of range there.
Parade pivots, looking for a leg kick but Van Buren is out of range and Parade settles back down.
Parade pivots, looking for a leg kick but Van Buren is out of range and Parade settles back down.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Van Buren connects with a right hand. Parade shakes it off.
Oh Parade is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Rage Parade's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
Parade closes the distance and clinches.
Van Buren takes a shot to the head.
Parade seems to have got his legs back now.
A head punch on the inside from Van Buren fails to land.
Van Buren misses with a hook to the ribs.
Parade tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Van Buren's elbow.
Parade leaning against his opponent.
Van Buren misses with a hook to the ribs.
Van Buren lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Parade backwards.
Van Buren manages to break the clinch.
Van Buren misses with a combination
and Parade counters with a good low kick that Van Buren was not able to check.
Parade cracks the inside of Van Buren's front leg.
Van Buren throws a hook but Parade avoids it easily.
Van Buren throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
A low kick from Van Buren misses
enabling Parade to counter with a crisp jab.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Van Buren misses with a jab to the body
and Van Buren takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Van Buren lunges at Parade with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Parade's hand.
Parade uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Van Buren.
Parade looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Van Buren throws a big shot that misses.
Parade rushes Van Buren and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Van Buren is pushing Parade up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
Parade struggles to land a body shot inside as Van Buren controls his hands.
Parade throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Van Burens head.
Van Buren is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
Parade tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Van Buren's elbow.
Parade misses with a hook to the ribs.
Van Buren breaks the clinch.
Nice defenses there by Parade.
Parade thinks about countering with a head kick.
Joost Van Buren seems to be getting the better of the standup.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Van Buren throws a leg kick
and Parade makes the exchange count by landing a cracking kick to the body. Van Buren really felt that one!
Van Buren ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Van Buren lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Jeez, Rage Parade's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.
Van Buren misses with a straight left.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Parade lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Van Buren has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Van Buren and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Van Buren thows a body kick. Parade tries to catch it but that hurt him.
Parade scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Parade lands a nice looking body kick.
Parade fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Van Buren throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Parade counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Parade lands a nice looking body kick.
Van Buren is breathing heavily.
Van Buren jabs Parade right on the nose. Parade blinks but takes it well.
Van Buren tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Parade looks to score with a jab to the body but Van Buren is just out of range.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
That was a close second round but I would say that Rage Parade will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Rage Parade's cut.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!
Van Buren misses with a head kick.
Van Buren misses with a looping left.
Parade blocks the body kick.
Parade tries to counter by moving into the clinch but Van Buren manages to circle out of the way.
Van Buren tries a head kick but it misses.
Parade slips under a jab from Van Buren.
Van Buren looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Parade wants to take advantage of his opponent's missed offense by moving into the clinch.
Van Buren throws a big shot that misses.
Van Buren checks a leg kick.
Parade looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Parade keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Van Buren.
Van Buren misses with a looping right.
Parade looked to counter that last move with a leg kick but didn't pull the trigger.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Van Buren misses with a left hand
and Parade counters with a straight right hand.
Van Buren misses with an uppercut. Parade saw that one coming.
Van Buren walks into a jab.
Parade's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Van Buren connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Parade scrambles back to his feet.
Parade slips a jab and a cross from Van Buren.
Van Buren takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A jab from Van Buren misses.
Parade ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Parade throws a good cross that connects.
Good standup being displayed there by Van Buren as he connects with a hook.
Van Buren throws a body kick that misses
and Parade counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
A nice leg kick lands there from Parade.
Van Buren throws a right hand that misses
and Parade counters with a huge left! Van Buren is in big trouble! He's backing up but Parade isn't giving him chance to recover. Under a barage of punches the ref has to step in to save Van Buren from any more damage. A dominating finish by Parade!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:35 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Rage Parade!
Rage Parade seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
94% |
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