PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Dr A Hedgeh (ranked 1349 p4p, 195 weight class) and Howard Stern (ranked 2659 p4p, 334 weight class). Hedgeh kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Dr Who?. Stern has chosen The Great American Nightmare as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

A Hedgeh
vs
Stern

195 cm
29
217 lbs
14 - 10 - 0

184 cm
40
205 lbs
32 - 26 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Granite chin

Drunken Hobo Fightwear - 80%

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Dr A Hedgeh!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 32 - 26 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Howard Stern!
The judges for this bout are Colin Fray, Jeff Smith and Ryoma Takatsuka.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Stern dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Stern throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
A little feinted left hand from Hedgeh on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Stern misses with a double jab.
Stern is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Hedgeh.
Stern tries a head kick but it misses.
Stern connects with a jab.

Hedgeh clinches up with Stern and pushes him back against the cage.
A head punch on the inside from Stern fails to land.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.

Hedgeh lands a takedown into guard.
Hedgeh lands a couple of elbows.

Hedgeh drops back looking for a heel hook - he quickly realises he's not going to get it but Stern manages to dive on top of him before he can escape and now Hedgeh has Stern in his guard.

We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Hedgeh has his hands on Stern's head, controlling the position.
Stern throws an elbow that misses. Hedgeh uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Stern's guard. Nice move by Hedgeh!

Hedgeh scoring with some ground and pound.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Stern is trying to keep Hedgeh in close.
Stern looking to hit a scissor sweep but Hedgeh is one step ahead there.
Hedgeh postures up and scores with a shot to the body and a follow up elbow to the head.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Hedgeh keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of Stern's head.
Hedgeh throwing strikes from guard but Stern blocks nicely.

Stern kicks Hedgeh off and gets to his feet.
A nice combination there by Stern.
Hedgeh defending well as Stern loads up on a big left hand.

Stern tries to sprawl but Hedgeh drives through with a takedown into half guard.
Hedgeh looks to be in better condition than last time we saw him fight. Obviously he's been working hard on his cardio.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Stern is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.

Stern looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Stern told us pre-fight that he has been working on his escapes in training. Let's see if he can call on some of his new skills to get back to his feet.
Nice strikes from Hedgeh there.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Stern is looking to control Hedgeh's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can Stern avoid being mounted?

Hedgeh stands, ready to strike. The ref makes him back up and allows Stern to get to his feet.
Stern jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Stern throws a combination. Hedgeh tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
Hedgeh fails with a takedown attempt.
Hedgeh avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Stern waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Hedgeh.
Hedgeh tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Stern manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.

Stern gets taken down but at least he's managed to land in guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Stern is adopting a defensive guard.
Hedgeh scores with a decent looking elbow strike.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Hedgeh landing some decent shots from guard.
Hedgeh content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
Hedgeh trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Stern manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Hedgeh manages to get himself to full guard.

Hedgeh preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Hedgeh working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Stern.
Hedgeh wants to sweep here but Stern controlling him for the moment.
Stern slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
Stern working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Hedgeh pulls Stern in close to prevent any damage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Stern trying to control but Hedgeh is working from the bottom.
Stern lands a couple of digs.
Stern chips away with some ground and pound.
Hedgeh striking from the bottom here.

Hedgeh working for a triangle but Stern defends it easily.

Stern decides he's had enough of playing guard and decides to stand. Come on Hedgeh, up you get!
Hedgeh shoots in looking for a takedown but Stern manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Hedgeh's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Stern scores with a hook.
Stern throws a big shot that misses.
It looked like Hedgeh was looking amped, ready to throw a big counter but didn't commit.
Hedgeh looks for a takedown but Stern sprawls well.
A little jabbing left from Stern on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Dr A Hedgeh. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Stern scoring well with a low kick there.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Howard Stern dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Hedgeh closes the distance and after a bit of a stuggle, scores a takedown into Stern's guard.

Stern kicks Hedgeh off and gets to his feet.
Nice uppercut lands for Stern. That snapped Hedgeh's head back.
Stern throws the left hand but Hedgeh avoids the punch easily.
Stern stuffs the takedown attempt from Hedgeh. Hedgeh gets slowly back to his feet.
No joy there for Hedgeh, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Stern works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Stern.
Hedgeh fails to land the takedown.
Hedgeh tries to close the distance and clinch up but Stern swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Stern ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
A swing and a miss from Stern.
Hedgeh went nuts there looking for a big combo counter but none of the flurry connected.
Hedgeh blocks a jab.
Hedgeh misses with a double jab.
Stern throws out a counter right but Hedgeh avoids it with no problem.

Stern fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Hedgeh, pushing him back against the cage.
Hedgeh tries to pull guard but Stern holds him up against the cage and eventually Hedgeh drops back down to his feet.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Dr A Hedgeh. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Stern misses with a short punch on the inside.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Stern gets underhooks to prevent Hedgeh's takedown attempt.
Stern creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Hedgeh's defenses.

It looks like Dr A Hedgeh has been cut.

Stern breaks from the clinch.
Dr A Hedgeh is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Stern misses with a two punch combination.
Hedgeh takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.

Stern closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Hedgeh can't get the takedown.
Hedgeh jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Stern walks away with a smile on his face. Hedgeh gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
Stern showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Hedgeh.
Hedgeh takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Hedgeh fails with a takedown attempt.
Good shot there by Stern.
Stern lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Stern might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.

Stern closes the distance, clinches up and gets a nice trip takedown into side control. Very smooth.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Stern taking a breather here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dr A Hedgeh overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Stern lands a knee to the body and a forearm to the face.
Stern cracks Hedgeh with a big right hand but Hedgeh just smiles back at him and invites him to have another go.
Hedgeh striking from the bottom but nothing landed.
Hedgeh takes a nasty elbow to the side of the head.
Hedgeh is trying to control Stern's posture but Stern avoids it.
Hedgeh is trying to improve his position.
Hedgeh on the wrong end of some ground and pound.
Stern works a knee to the body and follows up with a nice elbow to the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Stern is looking to take a break and control but Hedgeh is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Hedgeh takes a nasty elbow to the side of the head.

Stern goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Hedgeh rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Stern's guard! Nice work there by Hedgeh!
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Stern is on top in guard.

Hedgeh will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Hedgeh wants to sweep here but Stern controlling him for the moment.
Hedgeh can't keep his opponent in guard - Stern advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.
Hedgeh is trying to stand back up but Stern is controlling him
Stern is nestled in close to Hedgeh, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
Hedgeh controlling the position well.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Hedgeh trying to hold on to Stern's head to control him but Stern postures up.
Nice strikes from Stern there.
Stern is looking to take a break and control but Hedgeh is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Stern in particular looking to stall.
Stern throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Hedgeh trying to control here.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Howard Stern showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Dr A Hedgeh's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!

Hedgeh takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Hedgeh defending well as Stern loads up on a big left hand.
Hedgeh is looking to clinch.
Hedgeh misses with a two punch combination.
Howard Stern seems to be getting the better of the standup.
The fighters circling - Stern throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
As Stern looks to move away, Hedgeh throws a big counter combo but Stern just gets out of the way.
Hedgeh tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Stern paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Hedgeh avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Hedgeh tries to move into range but Stern moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Stern thows a left - swing and a miss!

Hedgeh gets caught napping as Stern dives in and scores a takedown. Hedgeh manages to retain guard.
Hedgeh keeping moving, preventing Stern from controlling successfully.
Hedgeh trying to control the position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Hedgeh wants to stand but Stern is controlling the position.
Hedgeh keeping moving, preventing Stern from controlling successfully.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Hedgeh is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Stern trying to control the position from guard on top but Hedgeh is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Stern is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
Hedgeh looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Hedgeh throwing some rather feeble looking strikes off his back.
Stern won't allow Hedgeh to sweep him here.
Stern trying to control the position from guard on top but Hedgeh is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Stern throws an elbow that misses. Hedgeh uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Stern's guard. Nice move by Hedgeh!

Stern looking to control.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Hedgeh scores with a decent looking elbow strike.
Stern is trying to keep Hedgeh in close.

Stern wriggles free and stands up.

Hedgeh manages to get an easy takedown there - catching Stern on his heels. He'll look to pass Stern's guard now, I'm sure.

Stern is scooting his butt against the cage and has managed to get back to his feet. Hedgeh presses him back against the cage, presumably looking to take the fight back to the mat.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Hedgeh blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Hedgeh wants to take the fight to the mat but Stern manages to get underhooks and keep the fight in the clinch.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Hedgeh has a couple of punches blocked by Stern.
Stern throws an elbow but it misses.
Stern pushes Hedgeh back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Stern misses with a hook from the clinch.
Hedgeh tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Stern smiles and moves away.
Hedgeh looks for a takedown but Stern sprawls well.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Dr A Hedgeh. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Hedgeh walks into a straight right hand from Stern.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Hedgeh shoots for a takedown but Stern saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Hedgeh fails in his attempt to clinch.
Dr A Hedgeh has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

A momentary lapse in concentration from Hedgeh enables Stern to shoot in and score with a neat double leg. Hedgeh manages to secure a closed guard as the fighters hit the mat.
Stern's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Stern working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Stern prevents Hedgeh from getting back to his feet.
Hedgeh doesn't do any damage with a couple of strikes from the bottom.
Stern has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Stern wants to control from the top but Hedgeh keeps moving.
Stern throwing strikes from guard but Hedgeh blocks nicely.

Hedgeh has his foot on Stern's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Stern works his way back into a safe position though.
Stern connects with a couple of short punches.
Hedgeh is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Stern is working Hedgeh over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
Hedgeh is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Hedgeh wants to hit a switch here but Stern passes into full mount! Oh no, disaster for Hedgeh there!
Howard Stern is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Hedgeh can't escape the position.
Stern controlling his opponent.
Let's hope that Stern has the urge to step up the pace any second now because for the last 15 or 20 seconds he's just been holding on tight.
Stern trying to control but Hedgeh is having none of it.
Stern tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.

And that's the end of the fight!
Howard Stern comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Stern has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Colin Fray scores the fight 27:30
Judge Jeff Smith scores the fight 27:30
Judge Ryoma Takatsuka scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Howard Stern!
Howard Stern made sure to mention his sponsor, Aspire Clothing in his post fight interview.