PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Rauta Kansleri (ranked 125 p4p, 14 weight class) and Snot Slurper (ranked 78 p4p, 7 weight class). Kansleri kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is U.D.O. - Heart of Gold. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Kansleri
vs
Slurper

192 cm
32
193 lbs
26 - 11 - 0

186 cm
28
195 lbs
20 - 4 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Urban Fighter

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 26 - 11 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Rauta Kansleri!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 20 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Snot Slurper!
The judges for this bout are Yuuki Gou, Shirou Masuda and Shigeki Sano.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kansleri motions for Slurper to come forward. Kansleri throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Kansleri uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Slurper.
Kansleri throws a solid leg kick but Slurper takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Kansleri.
Kansleri waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Slurper.
Kansleri misses with a hook. Slurper ducked under it nicely.
Kansleri lands with a nice body kick.
Kansleri avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Kansleri misses with a kick to the body.
Kansleri throws a front kick that sends Slurper stumbling back into the cage.
Kansleri has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Slurper finds it's way round the side to connect with Kansleri's head.
Slurper misses with a looping right.
Slurper blocks a head kick by Kansleri.
Kansleri lands a slapping body shot.
Slurper stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Kansleri.
Kansleri misses with a body shot.
Slurper misses the jab.
Slurper scores with a punch to the head.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Slurper scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Kansleri doesn't seem bothered though.
Slurper looks to land a left hand but Kansleri moved out of range nicely.
Slurper misses with a looping left.
A kick lands to the mid section there for Kansleri.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kansleri buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.

Slurper fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Kansleri, pushing him back against the cage.
Slurper lands a body shot in the clinch.
Slurper makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.

Kansleri escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Slurper misses with a hook.
Slurper swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Kansleri scores with a leg kick.
A slapping leg kick lands for Kansleri.
Slurper connects with a body shot that sends Kansleri's belly button to the back.
Kansleri loads up on a big right hand but Slurper slips the punch.
Slurper fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Kansleri manages to avoid it.
Slurper just misses with a punch to the body.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Kansleri.
Kansleri throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Slurper checks a leg kick nicely.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Slurper lands a slapping body shot.
Slurper throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Kansleri sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Slurper misses the body punch
and Kansleri counters with a three punch combo that has Slurper backing up. Slurper nods at Kansleri to acknowledge the strikes.
Snot Slurper seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Nice uppercut lands for Kansleri. That snapped Slurper's head back.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kansleri avoids a punch combination nicely.
Kansleri throws a solid leg kick but Slurper takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Kansleri.
Slurper jabs at Kansleri's body.
Slurper missing with a left hand there. Kansleri was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Kansleri uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Slurper.
Slurper lands the left hand.
Slurper scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Slurper fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Kansleri manages to avoid it.
Slurper tries to clinch up but Kansleri circles away and keeps his distance.
Kansleri on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.

Kansleri tries to keep at a distance but Slurper has taken the fight into the clinch.
Slurper doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Slurper.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Kansleri.
I was talking to Kansleri's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.
Kansleri scores with a shot to the side of Slurper's head.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Slurper.
Slurper tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Slurper blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Kansleri blocks a punch to the side of the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A head punch on the inside from Slurper fails to land.
Slurper lands a right hand.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Slurper.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Kansleri.

Kansleri's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Slurper takes a swing at Kansleri's ribcage but misses.
Nice uppercut there from Slurper.
Slurper will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Slurper moves in looking to clinch but Kansleri pushes him off.
Slurper with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Kansleri to score with a decent uppercut.
Kansleri throws a hook to the side of Slurper's head but Slurper sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Slurper swings for the body but Kansleri moves out of range.
Slurper ducks right into an uppercut from Kansleri.
Kansleri tries to land a leg kick but Slurper saw it coming and moves away.
Slurper has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Kansleri.
Slurper is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Kansleri rather than just go for the knockout.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Slurper throws a hook but Kansleri blocks it.
Slurper lands a nice hook to Kansleri's body. Kansleri takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Kansleri throws a body punch but Slurper moves out of range.
Slurper tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Kansleri was well out of range. Poor timing from Slurper.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A punch combination from Slurper misses.
Kansleri scores with a head kick.
Kansleri throws a looping overhand right but Slurper ducks down to avoid it.
Kansleri is looking to land body kicks.
Kansleri fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Slurper.
Kansleri throws a low kick, looking for Slurper's leg but Slurper calmly moves out of range.
Kansleri slips under a jab from Slurper.
Slurper misses with an uppercut.
Slurper just misses with a punch to the body.
Kansleri throws a low kick, looking for Slurper's leg but Slurper calmly moves out of range.
Kansleri pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Kansleri lands with a cross.
Slurper misses with a body shot.
Slurper connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Kansleri momentarily.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Slurper jabs Kansleri to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Kansleri takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Slurper takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Slurper steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Kansleri.
Kansleri takes a swing at Slurper's ribcage but misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Snot Slurper will probably get the nod.
That's time! Kansleri's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Slurper ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Kansleri misses with a leg kick.
Slurper misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Kansleri pivots, looking for a leg kick but Slurper is out of range and Kansleri settles back down.
Slurper ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Kansleri moves away.
It looked like Kansleri wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Kansleri misses with a looping left.
Kansleri throws a jab but it's blocked by Slurper.
Slurper keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Kansleri lands with a nice body kick.
Slurper fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Kansleri manages to avoid it.
Slurper pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Slurper jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Kansleri thuds his shin into the meat of Slurper's side.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Kansleri throws a head kick but Slurper moves out of range.
Slurper takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Slurper ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Kansleri moves away.
Kansleri scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
A chopping leg kick lands by Kansleri.
Kansleri throws a big shot that misses.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Slurper keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slurper scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Kansleri doesn't seem bothered though.
Slurper throws a jab but it's blocked by Kansleri.
Kansleri moves out of range as Slurper strikes.
Slurper fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Kansleri manages to avoid it.
Slurper's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
A nice inside leg kick there by Kansleri. That's going to slow Slurper down.
Kansleri looks to throw the jab but Slurper is out of range.
Kansleri avoids the body shot from Slurper.
Slurper lands a jab to Kansleri's midsection.
Slurper throws out a loose jab but Kansleri uses good head movement to avoid it.
Kansleri throws a hook but Slurper avoids it easily.
Kansleri scores with a nice body kick.
Slurper tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Kansleri misses with a low kick.
Kansleri misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Slurper.
Kansleri takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Kansleri lands a really nice looking cross but Slurper seems unphased.
Kansleri throws a feint and then finishes with a kick to the body.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Kansleri uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Slurper.
Slurper has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Kansleri.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A telegraphed right hand from Slurper misses the target.
Kansleri has not gone for a single takedown so far in this fight, which seems like a very strange tactic when you consider that he has the superior wrestling and BJJ.
Slurper on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Kansleri misses with an uppercut. Slurper saw that one coming.
Slurper misses with a looping right.
Slurper connects with the punch.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Kansleri.
Slurper lands the left hand.
Kansleri pushes Slurper away with a front kick.
Slurper throws a nice looking combination but Kansleri bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
An attempted straight right counter from Kansleri misses the target.
Slurper is looking to clinch.
Rauta Kansleri is winning the standup battle so far.
Kansleri avoids the body shot from Slurper.
Kansleri throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Slurper swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Slurper moves out of range as Kansleri throws a body kick.
Kansleri looks to throw the jab but Slurper is out of range.
A chopping leg kick lands by Kansleri.
A jab from Slurper misses.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Kansleri.
Slurper loads up on a big right hand but Kansleri slips the punch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kansleri misses with a straight right.
Kansleri fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Slurper has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Kansleri swats away the attempt to clinch by Slurper.
Kansleri is looking to counter with head kicks.
Kansleri throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Kansleri finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Kansleri bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Kansleri chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Kansleri scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Slurper works over Kansleri's head and body with a nice combination.
A telegraphed right hand from Kansleri misses the target.
Kansleri goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Slurper misses with a looping left.
Kansleri looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Slurper steps in looking to clinch after the strikes miss from Kansleri.
Slurper throws a big shot that misses.
Slurper throws a series of punches but Kansleri moves out of range.
Slurper scores with a decent looking hook.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Kansleri slips a straight right by Slurper.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Slurper blocks a head kick by Kansleri.
Kansleri thumps Slurper with a low kick.
Kansleri slips under a jab from Slurper.
Slurper connects with a crisp jab.
Slurper scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Kansleri attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Kansleri.
Kansleri connects with a leg kick. Slurper looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
A nice inside leg kick there by Kansleri. That's going to slow Slurper down.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Kansleri.
Slurper's jab looks to have found its range, popping Kansleri under the eye.
Kansleri ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Slurper misses with a hook.
Jab by Slurper.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Slurper loads up on a big right hand but Kansleri slips the punch.
Kansleri on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Kansleri scores with a shot to the body.
Slurper stuns Kansleri with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Slurper throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Kansleri sees it coming and avoids it easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Rauta Kansleri will probably get the nod.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!

Kansleri looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Slurper is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Kansleri.
Kansleri throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Slurper.
Slurper on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Kansleri. Kansleri obviously looking to wear him down.
Slurper throws a shot from downtown. Kansleri moves away and avoids it.
Kansleri looked to counter that last move with a leg kick but didn't pull the trigger.
Kansleri lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Slurper at a distance.
Slurper throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Kansleri swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Slurper's corner calls for a 1-2. Slurper obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Kansleri throws a head kick that looked like it stung.
Kansleri throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Slurper sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Kansleri sets himself, and Slurper steps forward looking for the clinch! Kansleri avoids it this time.
Slurper throws the left hand but Kansleri avoids the punch easily.
Some wild striking there from Slurper.
Kansleri takes one to the chin there.
A looping hook to the body misses from Slurper. Kansleri does a little dance to reset his feet.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Kansleri connects with a good right hand that stumbles Slurper. Slurper circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Kansleri uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Slurper.
A looping hook to the body misses from Slurper. Kansleri does a little dance to reset his feet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kansleri dodges the punch combination from Slurper.
Kansleri throwing a counter right hand but Slurper manages to avoid it.
Kansleri thows a left - swing and a miss!
Kansleri throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Slurper is trying to avoid his opponent's strikes and get into the clinch.
A slow jab from Kansleri misses its intended target.
Nice body kick there by Kansleri.
Slurper throws the left hand but Kansleri avoids the punch easily.
Slurper misses with a wild combination.
Kansleri throws a head kick that misses.
Kansleri looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Slurper comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Slurper lands with a right hand.
Slurper lands with an uppercut that bounces Kansleri off the cage and back into range.
Slurper fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Kansleri misses the jab.
Kansleri loads up on a big right hand but Slurper slips the punch.
Kansleri keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Slurper wants to clinch.
Slurper moves out of range of the body kick.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kansleri uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Slurper.
Kansleri connects with an inside leg kick.
Kansleri throws the left hand but Slurper avoids the punch easily.
Kansleri misses with an attempted mid kick.
Slurper misses with an uppercut. Kansleri saw that one coming.
Kansleri throws an overhand right that lands on Slurper's shoulder, as Slurper tries to avoid the shot.
Kansleri defending well as Slurper loads up on a big left hand.
Slurper scores with a jab to the jaw.
Kansleri tries a head kick but it misses.
Kansleri tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Slurper is trying to avoid his opponent's strikes and get into the clinch.
Kansleri misses with a low kick.
Kansleri sets himself, and Slurper steps forward looking for the clinch! Kansleri avoids it this time.
Kansleri takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Kansleri pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Slurper misses the shot to the body.
Kansleri is looking to counter punch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kansleri misses with a kick to the body.
Kansleri misses with a few strikes there.
Slurper looks to throw the jab but Kansleri is out of range.
Kansleri staying out of range there.
Slurper throws a series of punches but Kansleri avoids them all with ease.
Kansleri takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Kansleri swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Kansleri throws a hook to the side of Slurper's head but Slurper sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Slurper wants to counter the offense by Kansleri and move into the clinch position.
Slurper moves out of range of the body kick.
Slurper is trying to avoid his opponent's strikes and get into the clinch.
Slurper misses the shot to the body.
Kansleri attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Slurper swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Slurper swings for the body but Kansleri moves out of range.
Kansleri will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Slurper tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Kansleri throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Kansleri lands a nice shot that snaps Slurper's head back.
Slurper throws a body punch but Kansleri moves out of range.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Slurper throws a body shot but no joy.
Kansleri lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
A looping hook to the body misses from Kansleri. Slurper does a little dance to reset his feet.
Slurper is trying to avoid his opponent's strikes and get into the clinch.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Slurper throws a shot from downtown. Kansleri moves away and avoids it.
Slurper blocks a low kick nicely.
Kansleri uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Slurper.
Slurper throws a shot to the body.
Kansleri misses with a few strikes there.
Kansleri sets himself, and Slurper steps forward looking for the clinch! Kansleri avoids it this time.
Kansleri misses with a head kick.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Kansleri throws a low kick, looking for Slurper's leg but Slurper calmly moves out of range.
Kansleri lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Kansleri tries to land a leg kick but Slurper saw it coming and moves away.
Slurper throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Kansleri.
Kansleri ducks under a wild hook from Slurper.
Kansleri jinks towards his opponent looking like he wants to counter with a mid kick but doesn't commit.
Slurper just misses with a punch to the body.
Kansleri avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Kansleri throws the kick towards the body but Slurper avoids it.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Rauta Kansleri.
I think Kansleri has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Yuuki Gou scores the fight 29:28
Judge Shirou Masuda scores the fight 29:28
Judge Shigeki Sano scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Rauta Kansleri!
Rauta Kansleri decided to go for the less than humble approach in his post fight interview, telling everyone how he is going to conquer the world. The crowd seemed to like it when really that sort of approach could have gone either way.
Snot Slurper spoke after the fight, saying 'bastard ate boiled eggs and stale beer b4 the fight and fouled the air so bad even the ref was gagging out there ! Do u know how hard it is to fight and NOT vomit at same time???? Bastard should be required to use a buttplug...'.