PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Thing Thing (ranked 5807 p4p, 377 weight class) and Manny Quirez (ranked 24461 p4p, 423 weight class). Thing kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Thing. Manny Quirez is the more experienced fighter, so let's see if that makes a difference tonight.

Thing
vs
Quirez

150 cm
19
145 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

150 cm
19
140 lbs
2 - 6 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Brawler
Very quick

BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Determined

Woodhouse's

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Thing Thing!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 6 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Manny Quirez!
The judges for this bout are Winston Alpacca, Santiago Holmes and Michael Johnstone.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Thing throws a head kick but Quirez moves out of range.
Quirez drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Thing defends it well.
Quirez tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Thing was well out of range. Poor timing from Quirez.

Quirez tries to sprawl but Thing drives through with a takedown into half guard.
Thing drops an elbow to the side of Quirez's head.
Quirez tries to kick Thing off but Thing keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.
Quirez gets back to full guard.
Thing wants to get up but he can't break Quirez's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.
Thing landing with the ground and pound.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thing slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
Thing trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Quirez had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Thing defends it easily.
Thing's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Thing has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Quirez is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Quirez is wriggling around but Thing manages to pass to half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Thing controlling the pace.
Thing prevents Quirez from improving his position.
Thing is just sitting in half guard, waiting for something to happen.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Thing is working hard to pass the guard. He's done it - he's now in full mount! Trouble for Quirez!
Thing in mount throwing good strikes here, bouncing his opponent's head off the canvas.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thing controlling the position easily from mount.
Thing landing shots from mount.
Quirez should think about turning a few of those tyres round his middle into muscle if he wants people to take him seriously as an athlete.
Quirez is in all sorts of trouble here.
Thing lands a nice shot to the head.

Thing with some aggressive grappling here. He's looking for submissions here, rather than waiting for the opportunity to counter.
Thing moves to take his opponent's back.
Thing slows the pace down here. Having a little breather whilst he's in a dominant position, looking to rest and regain some energy, ready to go for the finish.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Thing is working hard for the rear naked choke here.
Thing slows the pace down here. Having a little breather whilst he's in a dominant position, looking to rest and regain some energy, ready to go for the finish.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Quirez trying to control the hands but Thing breaks the grip.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Thing Thing dominated that round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Thing has Quirez up against the cage in a clinch.

Thing is working on a single leg takedown against the cage. Quirez can't fight it off and eventually Thing manages to take the fight to the floor. Quirez looks annoyed but at least he's managed to land in guard.
Thing lands a couple of digs.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Quirez can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Thing controls the pace.
We're hearing some news coming in from back stage. It's official - Quirez has eaten all the pies!
Thing is in close to Quirez's body, working some short punches and elbows.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thing working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Quirez's head.
Thing is in close to Quirez's body, working some short punches and elbows.
Thing passes into half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thing is taking a breather. Quirez says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.
Quirez wants to get back to full guard.
Quirez is looking to control Thing's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can Quirez avoid being mounted?
Well, if Thing is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.
Quirez trying to control here.
Thing controlling the action here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Nice strikes from Thing there.
Quirez tries to regain full guard. Instead though, Thing has advanced to mount. Uh oh.
Thing controlling from mount.

Thing wants to finish this one by submission but Quirez is holding onto his waist, trying to prevent any attacks from Thing.
Quirez really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Thing. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thing controlling his opponent.

Thing working for a guillotine from mount but Quirez is in no mood to give up.

Thing is working on an americana here. Ooh, that looks pretty nasty! Nope, Quirez has managed to escape the submission attempt.
Thing controlling from the full mount.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thing lands a heavy elbow.
Thing is landing with some decent strikes but Quirez is trying to advance his position so the referee is letting the fight continue.
Thing controlling his opponent.
Thing raining down shots from the mount!
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Quirez looking to escape from mount but he's given up his back!
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Thing Thing dominated that second round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Quirez throws a left and a right that both miss

and Thing counters by clinching up.

Thing is working on a single leg takedown against the cage. Quirez can't fight it off and eventually Thing manages to take the fight to the floor. Quirez looks annoyed but at least he's managed to land in guard.
Thing looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Thing postures up.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Thing gets to his feet. Quirez looking to butt scoot but the ref puts an end to that. On your feet son!
Thing looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Quirez thinks about the counter body kick.

Thing feints and as Quirez raises his hands in defense, Thing changes levels and drives through with a takedown into guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thing is working Quirez over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
Thing stays in close to Quirez's body and controls the position.

Thing stands up from guard. Let's bang!

Thing has taken the fight to the clinch.
Quirez takes a knee to the side of the body.

Thing has managed to pull guard. Let's see whether he can work an aggressive guard. It will also be interesting to see what tactics Quirez uses from the top position.

Thing throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Thing wants to sweep here but Quirez controlling him for the moment.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thing bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Quirez's guard.

Thing trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Thing working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Quirez's head.
Thing landing some decent shots from guard.
Thing is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.
Thing is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Quirez can do to turn this around?
Thing prevents Quirez from getting back to his feet.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thing sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Thing stands up over Quirez, holding his feet. He dives back in and lands a decent shot to the head.
Thing is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Quirez looking to control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Thing sitting in guard here, content to control.
Thing postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
Thing is stalling in the full guard.
Thing is fighting to break Quirez's control of his arms but Quirez is doing a good job of controlling the position at the moment.
Thing is pushing down on Quirez's leg trying to pass to half guard. Quirez is fighting to maintain full guard but Thing has managed to sneak the leg through.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Quirez pushes Thing off looking to stand but Thing dives back in and keeps control.
Manny Quirez has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Thing Thing is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Quirez takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

Thing is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.

And that's the end of the fight!
Thing Thing showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Thing has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Winston Alpacca scores the fight 30:25
Judge Santiago Holmes scores the fight 30:26
Judge Michael Johnstone scores the fight 30:25

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Thing Thing!
Thing Thing seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.