PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Bunny Anstey (ranked 277 p4p, 42 weight class) and Milktoast Diddlybottom (ranked 914 p4p, 121 weight class). Diddlybottom comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Milquetoast kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Fingers crossed for an exciting fight - I'm sure both fighters are looking for a nice under the table bonus!

Anstey
vs
Diddlybottom

194 cm
36
251 lbs
32 - 15 - 1

213 cm
34
273 lbs
18 - 16 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Groove Gear

Urban Fighter

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 32 - 15 - 1, fighting out of Montreal, Bunny Anstey!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 18 - 16 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Milktoast Diddlybottom!
The judges for this bout are Alec Ball, Robert Douchet and Elvis Blanc.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Anstey slips under a jab.
Diddlybottom throws a head kick but Anstey moves out of range.
Anstey throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Diddlybottom counters with a straight right hand.

Anstey shoots in from a long way out. He's driving through with the takedown attempt and he eventually gets it, landing in Diddlybottom's guard.
Anstey trying to control but Diddlybottom is working from the bottom.

Diddlybottom is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Anstey is aware though and is defending well.
Anstey with a flurry of punches that miss.

Diddlybottom is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Anstey might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

Diddlybottom is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Anstey is aware though and is defending well.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Diddlybottom preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Anstey controls from within his opponent's guard.
Anstey trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Diddlybottom has momentary wrist control but Anstey slips an elbow through the middle.
Anstey is working Diddlybottom over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
Anstey controls from within his opponent's guard.

Diddlybottom is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Anstey is aware though and is defending well.

Diddlybottom is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Anstey defends well.
Diddlybottom is trying to keep Anstey in close.

Diddlybottom is looking for a triangle but Anstey pushes his legs off easily.
Anstey is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom working a defensive guard here.
Diddlybottom utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Our spies down at at Pugilists and Grapplers Gym inform us that Diddlybottom has really been working on his submissions in the buildup to this fight. Will it pay off?

Diddlybottom is looking for a triangle but Anstey pushes his legs off easily.
Diddlybottom preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Anstey is looking to work some ground and pound but Diddlybottom has wrist control.

Diddlybottom looking for a guillotine here but Anstey defends easily.
Diddlybottom can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Anstey controls the pace.

Anstey got a little sloppy there for a moment and Diddlybottom has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Anstey has managed to get both his arms back between Diddlybottom's legs - danger averted.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Anstey's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Anstey wants to control from the top but Diddlybottom keeps moving.
Anstey looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Diddlybottom manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Anstey manages to get himself to full guard.

Anstey tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Anstey keeping full guard, as Diddlybottom tries to pass.
Diddlybottom wants to control from the top but Anstey keeps moving.
Anstey is trying to control the position but Diddlybottom postures up.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
Diddlybottom wants to control from the top but Anstey keeps moving.
Diddlybottom won't allow Anstey to sweep him here.
Anstey controls Diddlybottom momentarily but Diddlybottom frees himself.
Diddlybottom tries to free his leg and advance position but Anstey is retaining full guard.

Anstey had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Diddlybottom defends it easily.
Diddlybottom is pushing down on Anstey's leg trying to pass to half guard. Anstey is fighting to maintain full guard but Diddlybottom has managed to sneak the leg through.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Diddlybottom wants to lay and pray for a moment but Anstey keeps working.
Anstey pushes Diddlybottom off looking to stand but Diddlybottom dives back in and keeps control.
Diddlybottom is thwarting Anstey's attempts to control the position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Milktoast Diddlybottom will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Diddlybottom throws a body kick despite being completely out of range
and Anstey cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Diddlybottom keeps the fight on the outside.
Diddlybottom feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Ansteys jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Diddlybottom lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Anstey misses with an uppercut.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Diddlybottom.
Diddlybottom lands a head kick!

Anstey closes the distance and clinches up, looking for a takedown. He shifts his weight and gets a nice trip into half guard.
This has been an exciting period of action!

Anstey seems to be looking for submissions.
Diddlybottom is trying to defend against the ground and pound but Anstey scores with a couple of nice shots.
Diddlybottom tries to roll over but Anstey keeps him under control.
Diddlybottom has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Anstey is working away from the top position though.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Anstey looks towards his corner to check for any instructions. The corner give him nothing to work with, so he cracks Diddlybottom with a short hammerfist. I guess that's as good as any advice he could get in this position.
Diddlybottom regains full guard. Nicely done.

Diddlybottom looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Diddlybottom keeping full guard, as Anstey tries to pass.

Diddlybottom pushes a forearm under Anstey's chin to create some space. He's escaped his hips and pivoted quickly for an armbar! Can he extend the arm? Yes, Anstey is tapping out! Damn, that was fast!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:44 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Milktoast Diddlybottom!
Milktoast Diddlybottom is the new heavyweight champion!
After the big win, Milktoast Diddlybottom made sure to do all the important stuff like thanking his sponsors Pit Bull Development and telling the interviewer how much he loves him.