PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Crown Halo (ranked 2542 p4p, 307 weight class) and Douche Canoe (ranked 2786 p4p, 323 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Halo
vs
Canoe

191 cm
33
207 lbs
17 - 12 - 2

197 cm
31
215 lbs
15 - 13 - 2

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 12 - 2, fighting out of Los Angeles, Crown Halo!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 15 - 13 - 2, fighting out of Las Vegas, Douche Canoe!
The judges for this bout are Alan Glass, Wesley Smith and Frank Dennis.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Canoe looks to land a left hand but Halo moved out of range nicely.
Halo throws a big counter combination but Canoe scrambles out of danger and avoids any damage.
Canoe tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Halo was well out of range. Poor timing from Canoe.
Canoe digs a good hook to Halo's body.

Canoe drives through with a takedown into Halo's guard. Let's see what he can do from the top position.
Canoe working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Canoe has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Canoe wants to control from the top but Halo keeps moving.
Halo wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now.
Canoe working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Halo is adopting a defensive guard.
Halo wants to stand and escape but Canoe is having none of it.
Canoe looking to pass the guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Canoe preventing the sweep.
My spies in Runts Academy inform me that Canoe has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Canoe seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
Canoe wants to pass the guard but Halo is keeping the position.
Canoe is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.
Halo trying to control the position.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Halo holds on and takes a little breather.
Canoe working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Canoe pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Halo is keeping the position for now.
Halo keeping moving, preventing Canoe from controlling successfully.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.
We've been told by Halo's head coaches at Temple of Illumination that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
Canoe looks to score with a jab to the body but Halo is just out of range.
Halo throws a leg kick

and Canoe counters with a nice shoot takedown that brings the fighters to the ground.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Canoe missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
Halo seems keen to control rather than go for a submission, at least for now.
Canoe postures up.
Canoe postures up and lands a big shot to Halo's brow.
Canoe trying to control but Halo is working from the bottom.
Canoe is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Canoe trying to control the position from guard on top but Halo is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Halo is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.
Halo working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Canoe.
Halo keeping moving, preventing Canoe from controlling successfully.
Halo is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

Canoe is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Canoe stopping the sweep attempt from Halo.
Canoe throws a big right hand that misses.
Halo tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Canoe throwing strikes from guard but Halo blocks nicely.
Halo knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Canoe on the ground.
Canoe pushes down on Halo's leg and manages to get into half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Canoe throwing shots but Halo is blocking nicely.
Canoe working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.
Canoe tries to pass the half guard into mount. Halo knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Halo trying to control but Canoe postures up.

Canoe is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Halo sees it coming and defends easily.
The fighters are battling for position here. Halo manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
Halo trying to control the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Canoe wants to control from the top but Halo keeps moving.
Halo looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Halo pulls Canoe in close to prevent any damage.
Canoe engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Canoe won't allow Halo to get back to his feet.
Canoe pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Halo is keeping the position for now.
Halo looking to hit a scissor sweep but Canoe is one step ahead there.
Halo working a defensive guard here.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.

Canoe drops back looking for a leg! Halo is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Halo manages to kick Canoe off! Canoe jumps back into Halo's guard.
Canoe stopping the sweep attempt from Halo.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Douche Canoe dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Canoe shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in side control! That's better than Canoe was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure!
Canoe trying to control the action but Halo is working from the bottom.

Canoe has hold of Halo's arm. He's looking for a kimura. Halo seems comfortable defending it but Canoe has shifted his position slighty and is cranking on the arm! Halo is real pain and he's forced to tap out! Halo is disgusted with himself for not defending it better but Canoe couldn't care less - he's delighted!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:16 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Douche Canoe!
A victorious Douche Canoe thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.