PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Milktoast Diddlybottom (ranked 34 p4p, 3 weight class) and HL Mencken (ranked 233 p4p, 34 weight class). Diddlybottom kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Milquetoast. Milktoast Diddlybottom has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Diddlybottom
vs
Mencken

213 cm
35
273 lbs
25 - 17 - 0

195 cm
36
261 lbs
29 - 9 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Urban Fighter
Pit Bull Development

UnderGround Clothing Co.

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 25 - 17 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Milktoast Diddlybottom!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 29 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, HL Mencken!
The judges for this bout are Paul Tew, Chris Edwards and Colin Fotheringham.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Diddlybottom tries a head kick but it misses.
Diddlybottom fails in his attempt to clinch.

Diddlybottom takes the fight into the clinch.

Mencken breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Diddlybottom fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Mencken.
Diddlybottom looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Mencken misses with a hook to the body
and Diddlybottom cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Mencken stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Diddlybottom.
Diddlybottom takes a jab right on the kisser.
Diddlybottom uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Mencken.
Diddlybottom is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Diddlybottom cracks a nice hook into Mencken's ribs.
Diddlybottom throws a leg kick
and Mencken counters with a nice body shot.
Diddlybottom fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
A telegraphed right hand from Mencken misses the target.
Diddlybottom looked to counter that last move with a leg kick but didn't pull the trigger.
Diddlybottom misses with a body kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Diddlybottom buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
A leg kick checked by Mencken.
Diddlybottom ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Nice body punch from Mencken.
Jab from Diddlybottom.
Mencken misses with a head kick.
Mencken jabs at Diddlybottom's body.
Diddlybottom with a hook.

Diddlybottom decides to change it up a bit and drives through with a nice takedown into half guard.

Mencken pushes Diddlybottom off and gets back to his feet.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Diddlybottom tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and Mencken cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.

It looks like Milktoast Diddlybottom has been cut.
Diddlybottom connects with the punch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom is looking to slow Mencken down with leg kicks.
Milktoast Diddlybottom seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Diddlybottom throws a low kick but Mencken moves out of range easily.
Mencken lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.
A clash of legs there as Diddlybottom blocks the low kick.
Diddlybottom tries to clinch there but Mencken circles away.
Mencken looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Diddlybottom misses with a hook to the body
enabling Mencken to counter with a crisp jab.
Mencken throws a shot from downtown. Diddlybottom moves away and avoids it.
Mencken throws a hook but Diddlybottom blocks it.
Diddlybottom blocks a jab.
Diddlybottom digs a good body shot into Mencken's ribs.
Diddlybottom jabs Mencken to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Diddlybottom is looking to clinch.
Mencken is loading up here, looking for a big counter of his own.
Nice takedown defense from Mencken. No joy for Diddlybottom on that attempt.
Diddlybottom blocks a jab.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Sloppy strikes from Mencken. Those never looked like landing.
Diddlybottom lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Diddlybottom misses with a body kick.
Diddlybottom misses with a low kick.
Diddlybottom misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Mencken tries to bum rush Diddlybottom with a series of wild strikes but Diddlybottom uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Mencken throws a series of punches but Diddlybottom moves out of range.
Diddlybottom throws a head kick that misses
and Mencken counters with a stiff right hand.
Diddlybottom swings for the body but Mencken moves out of range.
Mencken doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
A head kick misses from Diddlybottom.
Mencken's corner calls for a 1, 2 combination and Mencken duly obliges.
Mencken takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Diddlybottom thuds his right hand into Mencken's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Mencken connects with a good right hand that stumbles Diddlybottom. Diddlybottom circles away out of range and recomposes himself.

Diddlybottom is rocked!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom fails with an attempt to clinch.
A little jabbing left from Mencken on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Diddlybottom fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
A looping hook to the body misses from Mencken. Diddlybottom does a little dance to reset his feet.
Mencken walks forward and throws a big overhand right! Diddlybottom drops to the floor like a sack of potatoes! Mencken swarms on him with more punches until the referee wrestles him away from Diddlybottom's unconscious body! Wow, that was brutal!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:21 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). HL Mencken!
HL Mencken is the new heavyweight champion!
After winning the bout, HL Mencken thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.
Milktoast Diddlybottom spoke after the fight, saying 'First I like too make good show for fans. I hope you like it, even though fight did not go my way. I am mad about the result, but I am also so happy to entertain all of you. Thank you. PDB4Life'.