PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Jose Canseco (ranked 980 p4p, 23 weight class) and Bubble Butt (ranked 1913 p4p, 85 weight class). Canseco 's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Lisa Gerrard, Peter Bourke - Meltdown. There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

Canseco
vs
Butt

193 cm
24
245 lbs
10 - 11 - 0

199 cm
22
270 lbs
8 - 5 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 10 - 11 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Jose Canseco !
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Bubble Butt!
The judges for this bout are Ivan Kurochkin, Dmitry Maklakov and Konstantin Menshow.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Butt avoids a punch combination nicely.
Butt tries to bum rush Canseco with a series of wild strikes but Canseco uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
It looked like Canseco was looking amped, ready to throw a big counter but didn't commit.
Canseco throws a series of punches but Butt moves out of range.
No joy there for Canseco , who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Canseco throws a nice looking combination but Butt bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Canseco throws a right and a left that Butt avoids nicely.
Canseco fails to land with a series of punches.
Sloppy strikes from Canseco . Those never looked like landing.
Canseco slips a jab and a cross from Butt.
Canseco looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Butt misses with a few strikes there.
Canseco appears to be looking for a big counter.
Canseco misses with a series of wild punches.
Butt is trying to avoid his opponent's strikes and get into the clinch.
Butt connects with a solid leg kick.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Canseco rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Butt moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Butt throws a counter combo.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Butt gets a clinch.
Butt has a couple of punches blocked by Canseco .
Canseco misses with a body punch.
Butt stalling.
Butt working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Butt tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Canseco 's elbow.
Butt is stalling here. The referee will be looking to step in if he doesn't pick up the pace.
Canseco wants to get back to striking at distance but Butt won't allow it.
Nice body punch from Butt.
Butt is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
Canseco misses with a body punch.
Butt working aggressively here.
Canseco blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
A nice right hand lands inside from Butt.
Canseco tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Butt's elbow.
Canseco misses with a short punch on the inside.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Canseco tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Butt has been looking to improve his clinch game in recent weeks. Canseco seems to have the measure of him in the clinch so far, so let's see if Butt can turn it around.
A short left from Butt.
Butt lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Butt lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Butt throws a head punch that misses.
Butt holding his opponent close, against the cage.
A right handed body shot lands from Canseco .
Canseco lands a hook that snaps the head of Butt backwards.
Butt prevents a body shot from Canseco .
Canseco is trying to break the clinch but Butt has him pressed against the cage.
Canseco tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Butt's elbow.
Butt content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Canseco misses with some punches.
Canseco 's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Butt doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Butt throws a punch but it's blocked by Canseco .
A quick uppercut on the inside from Canseco .

That's three minutes gone in the round.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Butt.
Butt misses with a short punch on the inside.
Canseco tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Butt's elbow.
Canseco misses with a hook to the ribs.
Canseco misses with some punches.
Butt lands with a light punch inside.
Butt misses with some punches.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Stalling in the clinch from Butt.
A short uppercut from Butt.
Canseco lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Butt swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Canseco struggles to land a body shot inside as Butt controls his hands.
Butt lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Canseco backwards.
Butt tries to throw a body punch but Canseco avoids it by throwing Butt back against the cage.
Canseco fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Canseco lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Butt throws a punch but it's blocked by Canseco .

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Butt misses with a short punch on the inside.
Butt lands with a short shot to the head.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Butt swings wildly with an uppercut but Canseco uses good head movement to avoid it.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Canseco .
Canseco working aggressively here.
Canseco doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
Butt content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Butt misses with the head strike.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Butt.
Butt tries to work over Canseco 's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Butt lands a shoulder strike.
Butt swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Butt trying to control the position but instead, Canseco has worked for underhooks and has pushed Butt into the cage.
Canseco throws a punch but it's blocked by Butt.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Bubble Butt dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

A combination from Canseco does no damage.
Jose Canseco seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Butt lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
Canseco rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Butt moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Some wild striking there from Canseco .
Butt fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Sloppy strikes from Canseco . Those never looked like landing.
Canseco throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Canseco fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Canseco throws a series of strikes that have Butt backpedaling.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Canseco misses with a few strikes there.
Canseco throws a series of punches but Butt avoids them all with ease.
Left hook, right uppercut from Butt.
Canseco fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Butt lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.
Canseco swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Butt is looking for the big counter here.

Butt forces Canseco back against the cage and clinches.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Butt misses with a punch on the inside.
Canseco can't find room to land a body shot as Butt controls the action.
Butt misses with a hook from the clinch.
Butt dictating the pace here, as the fighters clinch against the cage.
Canseco tries to break free but Butt pushes him back against the cage.
Canseco blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Canseco lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
We are yet to see a takedown attempt from Butt in the fight. On paper you would think he is the more dominant ground fighter so let's see if these unusual tactics pay off.
Butt misses with a short punch on the inside.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Butt.
Canseco lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Butt backwards.
Canseco blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Canseco misses with a hook from the clinch.
A short uppercut from Butt.
Canseco swings wildly with an uppercut but Butt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Canseco is leaning against Butt and scores with a nice uppercut to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Canseco is trying to force a seperation but Butt has the dominant position.
Butt tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Canseco lands a shoulder strike.
Butt scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Canseco blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Butt pressing his opponent against the cage.
A short right from Butt.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A head punch on the inside from Butt fails to land.
Canseco works on Butt's body with a couple of short punches.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Canseco .
A short right from Butt on the inside.
Butt prevents a body shot from Canseco .
A head punch blocked on the inside by Butt.
Canseco tries to circle away but Butt has him pinned against the cage.
Canseco wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Butt misses with a punch on the inside.
Canseco blocks an uppercut.
Butt tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Canseco 's elbow.
Canseco works on Butt's body with a couple of short punches.
Canseco blocks an uppercut.
Butt swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Butt blocks a body shot from Canseco .
Canseco softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Canseco softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Butt lands a body shot in the clinch.
Butt tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
A right hand to the body from Canseco .
A head punch blocked on the inside by Canseco .
Canseco misses with the head strike.
A shot in the inside from Canseco .
Canseco works on Butt's body with a couple of short punches.
Butt lands a body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Butt misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Butt throws a punch but it's blocked by Canseco .
Butt fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Canseco tries to throw a body punch but Butt avoids it by throwing Canseco back against the cage.
A short right from Canseco .
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Butt scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Bubble Butt seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Butt fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Canseco tries to work over Butt's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Canseco lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Butt backwards.
Butt lands a hook to the side of the head.
Butt pushes Canseco back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Canseco is trying to break the clinch but Butt has him pressed against the cage.
Butt misses with a punch on the inside.
Canseco tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Butt's elbow.
Canseco has a couple of punches blocked by Butt.
Butt misses with the head strike.
A short right from Butt.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Jose Canseco will probably get the nod.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Butt tries a head kick but it misses.
It looked like Canseco was looking amped, ready to throw a big counter but didn't commit.
Canseco will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Canseco dodges the punch combination from Butt.
Canseco misses with a lunging right hand
and Butt counters with a three punch combo that has Canseco backing up. Canseco nods at Butt to acknowledge the strikes.
A combination from Butt does no damage.
Butt avoids a punch combination nicely.
Canseco throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Canseco throws a right and a left that both miss.
Canseco misses with a series of wild punches.
Canseco swings for the body but Butt moves out of range.
Butt fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Canseco ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Butt moves away.
Some wild striking there from Canseco .
Canseco showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Butt.
Butt stalks Canseco and leaps in with a furious combination of punches. Uppercuts and crosses smash into Canseco 's face. Canseco staggers backwards, shaken.
Butt misses with a two punch combination.
Canseco will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Butt wants to counter with a clinch but Canseco pushes him away.
Canseco throws a series of punches but Butt avoids them all with ease.
Canseco throws a right and a left that Butt avoids nicely.
Butt misses with a head kick.
Canseco misses with a wild combination.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Canseco throws a series of punches but Butt avoids them all with ease.
Butt misses with a wild combination.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Canseco looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Canseco avoids a punch combination nicely.
Butt showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Canseco .
No joy there for Canseco , who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Butt dodges the punch combination from Canseco .
Canseco falls off balance throwing a combination

and Butt moves into the clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Butt throws a head punch that misses.

Canseco 's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Canseco throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Butt.
Butt throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Canseco .
A combination from Butt does no damage.

Butt gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Canseco scores with a nice hook to the head.
Butt stalling against the cage.
Butt misses with some punches.
Canseco prevents a body shot from Butt.
Butt swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Butt scores with a shoulder strike.
Canseco swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Canseco blocks a punch to the side of the head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Butt swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Canseco as Butt tries to tie him up.
Canseco misses with the head strike.
Butt stalls.
Canseco stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Canseco tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Canseco misses with a punch to the body.
Canseco takes a shot to the head.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Canseco lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Butt lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Butt misses with a punch to the body.
Butt misses with a hook from the clinch.
Butt has a couple of punches blocked by Canseco .
Canseco tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Bubble Butt.
I think Butt has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Ivan Kurochkin scores the fight 29:28
Judge Dmitry Maklakov scores the fight 27:30
Judge Konstantin Menshow scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by split decision... Bubble Butt!
A very excited looking Bubble Butt rambled incoherently for about 5 minutes post fight about how awesome he is. It was kinda funny for a while but then everyone got annoyed.
The defeated Jose Canseco had this to say: 'Fuck you Bubble what'.