|
 With a cigarette puckered between his lips, Brandon Comte walks to the podium with Quayshan Bonner and The Legion of Pain following him to create one horizontal line of legends waiting to discuss the inauguration of Relativity's second term in office. Standing next to Brandon is Soyster Eighty-Nine who modestly bows in front of the croud featuring hundreds of thousands of fans attending this press conference, celebrating Relativit's return.
Brandon Comte rolls up a fatty and passes the blunt to soyster and speaks,
"So we come here today to celebrate a miracle, wait no, magic, oh hell no, it's all about science. You see back in 2009 I owned an org named Ice Cold FC and midway through I thought "why don't we change the whole concept?" So we moved our operations to Las Vegas at the time and boy best believe it was fun. We changed our name to Relativity ( with Franky Fin's permission of course ) and we became a top 20 org and were always behind Synchronicity by one spot in the Vegas Rankings (after we handed DFC some kickass.) But this isn't to brag, no this is to celebrate.
Back in the days 200 was the highest rating in the game because of poorly built fighters and the highest hype imaginable was 200, you know... the basics. We've made history in our organization on Easter, wait no, on 4/20.
Well back to the thing I was talking about, yes, history, we felt Vegas was becoming way too populated therefor, we'd have to take care of every fighter on their hangover or accidental marriages, or why they aren't rich enough to own a casino. It got really frustrating so we decided to move our organization Montreal and yes, Our best words will always be 'Legalize it world wide' because you see the fighters come and fight and not complain the day after, they all know what they're getting into. Anyway, we came here to discuss the event and that's what we'll do!"
1- Johny Lawton defeated Evert Bosma in the round with a swift armbar. His highschool jui jitsu class paid off!
2- The Canadian brown belt Jak Johnson defeated Jose "Matador" Garcia also with a first round armbard proving in some cases an all around game cannot overcome a BJJ specialist.
3- Matt Keelock knocked out Andrew Todd with a brutal jab-uppercut combo, winning the fight in 21 seconds, then soon after rewarded KO of the night. *soyster smiles and passes Brandon the Blunt and Brandon nods with approval*
4- Another brutal first round knockout from Test Subject to Brody Johnson. (happy 4/20) This was Quayshan's favorite fight.
5- Time bang was looking to revive his carreer going against then undefeated Gary Woodlamp and did just that by rocking him with ground n' pound until the referee jumped in (coincidentally getting a knuckle to his head too, and we had to get a replacement ref, so we hired Burt Reynolds.) It was a funny moment in canadian history.
6- Buster Quinn annihilated Polar huig with a first round TKO.
7- Sammy Dubois abused the more experienced Kyle Demarce by TKO, retaining his undefeated record, now 2-0 while Kyle falls to 4-2.
8- Famous brazilian submission specialist Rafael Carneiro went 7-1 after submitting New Guinea star Ongka "Big Moka" Ongka who went 17-6 after this huge upset. Carneiro won submision of the night.
Main Event and Co Main Event.
9- This in a senario where two wrestler's fight and one has a clear advantage. Nate Coleman beat Eugene Carl Alexander Burns (who has better BJJ along with great wrestling) to go 8-0. This fight made stoners drift off to a different worldand doze off. Nate Coleman came in aggressive and left judges with no decision but add points for his well coordinated takedowns.
10- This fight is definitely what made everyone jump out of their feet, Igor Svetnela stepped into the cage with Matt Diaz and took the 30yr old beast to the clinch and destroyed him, gassing him with knees to the body, destroying him with punches and knees to the head, and finally makes Diaz tap out from all the pain delivered from that last soul-crushing elbow.
"We're so high and laughed all throughout that review and I don't know why" Comte and Soyster go to the bar and order drinks because they are convinced they cannot smoke anymore. This event has given Relativity the highest rating it has every had and that made history, might as well get a drink right? Good night every body, love y'alls.
Article views:
131
» Donate to this author |
