2015-02-26
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Karl "Psycho" Roosevelt

Fighter profile of Karl Roosevelt by Bjorn O'Donnel

Karl "Psycho" Roosevelt

Hey weirdo's !!! I've been in hospital for some tests. I'm not sure what happened in there, but all I know is that I went in under the name of Max Hatred. My doctor told me that he wanted to give me a new name.

I didn't care as I had no clue what was going on in the first place. Because I sometimes say stupid things and there is a meme ' shut up Karl' , they assumed it was a good first name for me. And sometimes when I dream, I dream of Roosevelt, so that made sense, even to me. I've been in the hospital for only a few days.No, the doctor didn't say that I was cured, but Max, Karl, Me, Roosevelt and the others told me that I was fine and could just leave without asking the doctors.

I had been walking in the streets of New York when I finally saw a house with clothes in the windows. I don't know how they call that and what it is for, but it looked to me like a place where naked people put on clothers if they feel like to many people stare at their sweaty balls. The silk underwear was a bit itchy combined with my hairy ass, but I guess time will heal all wounds. After two more hours,I started feeling something strange in my stomach.

I wasn't sure what it was, but 100 yards later I found out. Body gass that has been a long time in your body wants to get out at a certain point in time. I smelled nothing, but judging by the two young punks, the old woman and the nanny who all began puking, it must have been quite something.. Once my stomach was sort of empty, I saw a big red 'M' on top of a building. When I went in , the place was fillled with fat people eating bread with meat on it.

It smelled better than the gass I had produced, so I assumed that eating it would allow me to produce fresher body gasses. Boy was I wrong! Those onions caused a shutdown of half NY city because they were afraid the sewers were broken. No more meat and bread for me from the red 'M' for sure! I was feeling fat after eating all of that stuff and decided to start running. Can't say that it was a huge succes, but hey, it's the effort that counts right..?!

Still little bit depressed, I went home ( a carton box somewhere on the outside of the city) and slept for 4 straight days. When I woke up, a huge muscular guy was standing next to me with a creepy smile on his face.He told me that he would turn me into the most crazy, relentless fighter the world had ever seen.
I had no clue what he meant with fighting, but being the best of the world sounded promising. I followed him and then I had a blackout and now I'm here back sleeping in my carton box. I just woke up and feel like I'm the G.O.A.T. of Mixed Martial Arts. But maybe that's just because my armpitts smell like a goat ...

 

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