2015-03-14
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GAMMA#462 Krystian v Snuka Review

Global Association of MMA, Fight Organization, London
Company profile by Mentor Guru Corleone

Review By Kim Jong-un "The Screamun Koreaun"

On 14 Feb, 2015, Mentor Corleone (3503) the Owner of the incredible GAMMA (Global Association of MMA) Organization, presented GAMMA#462 LA (822396). This event, located at the LA Memorial Colossuseum right here in Los Angeles, is proudly sponsored by GREEN!160 based in Las Vegas. Attendance of 93, 154 wound-up, fight fans was thunderous to say the least and the additional 236,144 Pay-Per-Viewers brought the total to 329,298 fans who saw this event. This event hosted two Title fights; at 145 pounds between Timofey Boyko and Ein Stein and; at 155 pounds between Krystian Wojnasiewicz and Jimmy Snuka. This action-packed event had 5 knockouts, 3 decisions and 2 submissions. Kim Jong-un, "The Screamun Koreaun" here to walk you through the "insanely wonderful violence". All the gory details can be found at http://www.mmatycoon.com/orgeventpublic.php?EvID=822396



At 205 lbs we had Arstan Selmy vs Tiki Toke

The first fight review is in the 205 pound division between Arstan "The Bold" Selmy (196913) and Tiki "Smokin" Toke (194842) resulting in a Submission by Guillotine in 4:47 of round 2, for the winner, Arstan Selmy!

Im not sure if this can actually be called a "fight" when there were more submission attempts than strikes landed. Kinda reminded me of my 2 sisters fighting except there was no hair pulling or screeching. I admit I called this one wrong and had figured Toke to win by submission since he had 8 Submission wins on his record and Selmy had only 3. But the under-rated Selmy must of used some reverse strategy and used Toke's own weapons against him for the win. Toke now has 5 losses in a row and needs to seriously consider that McDonalds job again....



At 155 lbs we had Gennaro Gattuso vs Parvati Mellia

Next was a fight in the 155 pound bracket between Gennaro "Il Coltello" Gattuso (143909) and Parvati Mellia (184568) resulting in a TKO by strikes in 1:35 of round 1, for the winner, Parvati Mellia!

Well it seems this was a revenge rematch and Mellia had an ax to grind after being submitted by Gattuso in the 1st round in his last fight. And to prove his point he knocked Gattuso out a minute faster than Gattuso had submitted him! This young fighter has great possabilities ahead of himself when he can show his metal by climbing back in the cage with a man that just beat him and has twice the experience, and then not only wins, but put a good thumpin on him. WAA HAAAA !



At 155 lbs we had Yngve Ingvar vs Augustus Belvedere IV

Next fight was in the 155 pound division between Yngve Ingvar (140275) and Augustus "The Last Prince" Belvedere IV (123199) resolved by a unanimous decision for Yngve Ingvar!

Not to be mean when I say Belvedere did good to lose by decision, OR to say Ingvar didnt do so well by only winning with a decision...but I had this fight picked as a knockout win by Ingvar. WHY? when Belvedere won his last 3 fights by knockouts? Well Im not much into betting on "streaks" I bet that the odds gonna catch up to you the longer the streak is. So disregarding that and with the win/lose records closely the same and both being "knockoutters" I picked Ingve because he had LESS losses by knockout. But it was a close call for sure...So what happened?

Well it was a lively fight in round 1, and round 2 continued the action. Halfway into the round, Belvedere sent Ingvar to the mat with a left/right combo and then waved him back to his feet. Im thinking if he had better ground skills to have the confidence in his ground game he could have pounced and finished it right then. But he waved him up and was unable to get the "mission complete" So when you leave things in the hands of the judges...shit happens kinda wierd sometimes. For example I dont think i have ever seen a 10/10 round before, but thats what Judge Don Winkell had when he scored the fight 30:28.



At 185 lbs we had Cormac Gutz v Baraka Simengwa

This fight was in the 185 pound division between Cormac Gutz (161532) and "The Lion Of Matema" Baraka Simengwa (192358) ending with a submission by Arm Triangle in 2:59 of the 1st round for the winner, Baraka Simengwa!

Congrats to Simengwa who knew he shouldn't hang around and give the powerhouse Gutz a chance to make him number 19. Simengwa knew he had to get that power prone, and then work his will on Gutz and make him cry. And thats just what he did. He went straight for the clinch and was trying to pull guard. Gutz managed for around 2 minutes to keep the fight standing and was alternating between controlling the position and landing strikes nicely. But Semengwa got frustrated and just picked his 176.6 pounds up and manhandled Gutz into a position he liked...dumped him on the mat and quickly threw in an arm triangle and before you could fart twice it was OVER. Thats what I call imposing your will on the other man. WAAAHAAAAAA !!! Baraka Simengwa was awarded "submission of the night".



At 265+ lbs we had Fat Gorrila vs Tamias Poochyena

In the 265+ pound division we have a fight between Fat Gorrila (204973) and Tamias Poochyena (135965) ended by a TKO by strikes for the winner Tamias Poochyena!

Well I got this one right and I think it was an easy call. Both men have serious knockout power with over half of their total combined fights ended by a knockout win. But I went with Poochyena for the experience since he has almost 3 times as much cage entries as Gorrila does. So what happened in the fight you say? Well as you would expect with two punchers....it was a standup war. Gorrila landed more strikes in the standing and Poochyena landed more in the clinch. One difference was that Gorrila was trying to get his moneys worth from all those Muay Thai lessons and half of his standing strikes were kicks. But when it came clinch-time...the Muay Thai failed him and the only thing that landed for Gorrila in the clinch were punches. And with Poochyena landing 3 times as many punches in the clinch than Gorrila the inevitable happened and Poochyena dropped Gorrila with a right hand and then jumped on him and finished the job. Nicely done Poochyena ! WAA HAAAA !



At 265+ lbs we had Giuseppe Maldini vs Tio Malone

This fight is in the 265+ division and features "Top Shelf" Giuseppe Maldini (189076) versus Tio Malone (182171) ended with a knockout from punches at 3:11 of the 1st round from the winner, Tio Malone!

This was a fight I was drooling to see. I just LOVE watching the powerful mountain men slam fists to head...And these 2 bigguns were both heavy handed beasts and I KNEW we would never hear the final bell on this fight. I picked Malone because Maldini has a plastic chin. So how did it happen? Well, its a simple story really and all about accuracy. Malone had it and Maldini didnt. This 3 minute fight saw Malone land 74% of his strikes and Maldini landed 22%...and you just cant be a winner with that kind of disparity.



At 265+ lbs we had Patrick Bateman vs Jules Winnfield

This Main card event is in the 265+ division between "American Psycho" Patrick Bateman (180187) and Jules "Bad Ass Mother Fucker" Winnfield (211191) ending with a knockout in 28 seconds of the 1st round by a headkick from the winner, Patrick Bateman!

I had picked Bateman to win but I thought it would go to a decision. Apparently Bateman had an early dinner date and didnt want to "hang-out" so he got right to business. He started out acting like he was planning on the later rounds and started kicking leg and body so it would seem like he was wanting to slow Winnfield down...threw a couple punches and then a headkick that knocked Winnfield down! When Winnfield got up, he was bleeding and perhaps blind, because Bateman kicked him square in the head for a "Kodak moment" of a finish. WAA HAAAAA make that 2 WAA HAAAA's !!!! And no surprise to announce Patrick Bateman was awarded "KO of the night".



At 170 lbs we had Renan St Juste v Rufus McTearson

Our next Main card event is in the 170 pound division between Renan St Juste (102580) and "Rip" Rufus McTearson (186694) resulting in a unanimous decision for the winner Renan St Juste!

This fight I looked at a long time but finally I picked St Juste to win by decision because he has 2x as much experience in the cage. I didnt think it would be a knockout despite St Juste having 25 knockouts to his credit because McTearson has never been knocked out in 30 fights. So how did this fight go? Well the 1st round saw St Juste with a dominate kicking attack which easily earned him the round. Round 2 McTearson come on stronger and it was a good battle all round, with St Juste probably taking it due to a good crotch-kick he gave McTearson... Round 3 has St Juste stepping up the pace and increasing the kicking attack and managed to chop McTearson to the floor right at the end of the fight. McTearson wasnt just playing receiver though...he fought to the bitter end but it simply wasnt enough. St Juste landed 67 strikes and 35 of them were kicks. McTearson landed 30 strikes himself which in many fights would be enough...but the "Storm of St Juste" just blew him right out of the cage. This fight was awarded "Fight of the night".



This is a TITLE fight at 145 lbs between Ein Stein and Timofey Boyko

The Co-Main event is a TITLE fight for the belt at 145 pounds between the Champion, Ein Stein (182566) and the Challenger, Timofey "Beast" Boyko (151666) resulting in a Unanimous decision for the winner, Timofey Boyko the new featherweight champion!

Ok I blew this one. I had Stein by decision mostly because he has so few losses. Both men were on winning streaks (and you know I dont bet streaks generally) But Stein had less than half the losses Boyko has, and only 1 loss is by knockout...so I didnt figure Boyko could knock him out...so I guess I had it partly right. Lets see how this war was waged eh? Boyko lands first and second and third...Stein takes him down to stop the barrage but cant make anything happen and the referee stands them up rather quickly. Boyko picking his shots and Stein with multiple failed takedowns to the end of a round dominated by Boyko. Round 2, Boyko continues to land multiple strikes and Stein is missing missing missing and failing takedown attempts and the round ends with Boyko easily dominating a Stein with no accuracy. Round 3, Boyko still landing shots and Stein still trying to pull guard in the clinch and failing until the last 30 seconds of the round when he finally got it, but not in time to do anything with it. Boyko easily taking that round also. Round 4, more time spent on the ground due to 2 takedowns by Stein who couldnt land any ground and pound but probably took the round. Final round, It was all Boyko, who continued to easily dominate Stein but couldn't seem to put him away. Yawn....



This is a TITLE fight at 155 lbs between Krystian Wojnasiewicz and Jimmy Snuka

The Main event is in the 155 pound division between Krystian "Wojna" Wojnasiewicz (159688) and "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka (159898) resulting in a TKO from strikes at 4:29 of the 3rd round for the winner, Krystian Wojnasiewicz who retains his title.

I admit this was a tough fight to predict for me, Snuka having 8 submissions and Wojnasiewicz having weak BJJ skills...but decided to follow the losses and picked Wojnasiewicz who had only 7 losses compared to Snuka having 12. Plus the fact that Wojnasiewicz other skills ALL at higher level that Snuka. So lets see which skills he used... Snuka on the attack and clinches, but is cut from a Wojnasiewicz elbow. Snuka gets a takedown and from there it was a series of reversals with Snuka's multiple submission attempts and Wojnasiewicz occassionally landing some ground and pound. Round 2, Snuka mixed strikes with takedown attempts all round and Wojnasiewicz fighting him off with strikes. Round 3 Snuka was landing and attempting takedowns but Wojnasiewicz dropped him to a knee early in the round with a right hand and again in the last minute when he mounted and rained blows for the stoppage. WAAHAAAA !



Well Ladies and germs I had a wonderful time and would like to stay and chat it up but somebody here either has some truely nasty farts or needs to brush their teeth, and Im can't handle it anymore...so this is Kim Jong-un your favorite "Screamun Koreaun" saying "Find a toothbrush or a buttplug for cryin out loud.....WAAAAHAAAA" !!!

 

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