Dave Ysengrin Interview

Fighter profile of Dave Ysengrin by Callum McGregor

Interviewed by Jim What.

What: We're here with one of the more impressive fighters from the inaugural Highland Challengers card; Dave Ysengrin. Dave, how important do you feel it was to kick off your career with a bang? Ysengrin: Very important, chap. People often underestimate my fighting abilities for my cultural background. I am a privileged person, went to better schools than most of the buffoons you see fighting on the MMA cards. I like to have a laugh at the poor people whilst punching their degenerate brethren in the faces, then I drive off with my chauffeur whilst they go back to poverty for most of them will never make it, their blood is bad whereas mine is as pure as it can be. What: What makes you hold wealth in such high esteem in mixed martial arts? Ysengrin: I only mean i choose to do this, they do it because they are forced to. They have nothing else in their miserable lives other than slums. Ha, this one time me and my chums from Eton went to the poor people area and offered £50 to some local lad if he ran head first into a wall. Being the fool he was he did it, but he knocked himself out cold doing so, we filmed it and left. Me and the lads love a bit of banter and that was hilarious. What: When the cage door closes, it is still all a bit of banter? Ysengrin: I'll be bantering to my grave. I'm like, the ultimate lad. They don't call me Bantonio Banteras for nothing. What: Was he in the Lads of Zorro? What do you feel is next for you? Will it be business or usual or do you think you'll get more of a challenge in your next outing? Is there anyone you are interested in facing? Ysengrin: As for the Lads of Zorro, i will neither confirm or deny these rumours. What the lads do at Eton stays in Eton and I will be having words with some of them about this. I sincerely hope the next poor person i face will offer me more of a challenge, but those European folk don't know much and being hit by savage mongrels just makes me want to hit them back. There's that Scot that no good person is able to understand, Arthur something or other. I think he needs to stop stuffing haggis in his mouth put down the Irn Bru and face a proper Englishman who will send him on his way back over the border. My hatred of Scots stems from my Percy ancestors. I have to go now, I need to call father and ask him to give me my allowance and phone Mummy telling her all about this 'Island'. Then phone my many brothers to check in on them, sometimes its hard being a Ysengrin all of those brothers achieving their fame at a young age and i'm stuck on this rock. What: I'm sure you will have plenty of oppoertunities for fame in Highland Challengers. Thank you for your time and good luck with your next fight.

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