An Interview With Alexander Orlov

Editorial by Justin Credible

 An Interview With Alexander “The Inglorious Bastard” Orlov

J.C. “Alex let’s just skip the B.S. and get right down to it, you’ve had 4 different managers in your career. Why?’

Alexander “I have no clue. Maybe they think my chin isn’t what it used to be. Maybe I’m not good enough for them, maybe they think I’m past my prime. There could be a million reasons, but one things for sure, I’m going to prove them all wrong, when I’m a champion again.”

J.C. “You’ve now lost 3 out of your last 4 fights how do you expect to turn it around?”

Alexander “I’m going to train my ass off and improve myself, how else do you think? You damn interviewers are all the same, asking the same questions, expecting the same answers, let’s get into it! Ask me some real damn questions!”

J.C. (Wipes sweat pouring from face) “ Ok… I’ve heard a rumor about you wanting to leave your current Fight Org. Is that true?”

Alexander “Well jackass I didn’t mean that real, but yes. My current Org. hasn’t contacted me in 27 days (At the time of Interview) I expected something I mean Jesus Christ! I’m now THAT washed up am I? I can’t even get a fight? I have one fight left on my current deal and I plan on honoring my commitments, but they need to hurry the hell up!”

J.C. “I’ve also heard a rumor about you getting caught up in some trouble recently, tell me about that.”

Alexander “Ehhhhh, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. Yeah I was caught with some illegal substances recently in my rental car. Look everyone likes to have a good time, and so do I. So I went to my buddy Pedro’s house, got some booger sugar, picked up some working girls and had a great time. It was nothing a few penicillin shots and lawyers couldn’t handle.”

J.C. (Still in shock from that last answer) “So other than strippers and cocaine, what do you do for fun?”

Alexander “Well…..” (10 minutes later) “Train I guess.”

J.C. “Ok I got two more questions for you, and we’re done. Who do you wanna fight next and why?”

Alexander “Augustus Belmont would be an ideal opponent. He’s old and past his prime, has a big name, good record, great skill set, but I think I’d crush him. The guy is 43 years old, he’s a former champion, but all champions must fall. He needs to be placed into retirement, allow me to be the one who does that for him.”

J.C. “Last question. You said you have one fight left on your current contract, where do you go after?”

Alexander “Where ever the money is bro! I’m at a place right now where all I need is money to support my habi…. My family. I’d like to become a champion again, I know I can do it and I’m going to prove it. For all those doubters out there, come and get some. I’ll show you that I’m not finished yet, I’ll eat your children, I’ll sniff a line off of your knocked out face, I’ll take your title pee on it and slap your wife in the face with it! LETS GO!”

-Justin Credible doesn’t take any responsibility for Alexander Orlov’s words, when we asked him to censor himself he just peed on us and slapped us- 

Article views: 139
» Donate to this author