Convicted Weather Report: Rousey, Dino, Qlimax

Editorial by Chris Karter

Since Ronda Rousey's KO loss to Holly Holm, she's been focusing on her life outside of the cage. During a recent press conference she was caught off guard when a surprise guest showed up to the stage for an interview.

A cameraman captured Ronda's OMG CK is going to be here!?! moment.    

RR:  I'm wet.

CK:  First off, gross - I wouldn't fuck you with Dana White's head.Second, I have that effect on women.   Third, it's nice to meet you too.    Lastly, stick to questions please.  

 My time is valuable. Time is money.

RR:  How shocked were you when dinooo announced he would be leaving Convicted? Did he talk to you before he left?

CK:  It wasn't anticipated, but I'm not shocked.  

He's always been very active in tycoon chat so we were aware he had a lot of buddies outside of Convicted.

RR:  Did he talk to you before he left?  

CK:  No.

RR:  Did he talk to any of you before he left?

CK:  The only one I'm aware of is LT.

RR:  Do you know what he discussed with Lance?  Did they part on good terms?Rumors are circulating that LT assaulted dinooo during his departure from the Convicted Inc building.

CK:  We'll leave TMZ news to noob alliances.I have no recollection of that.

Let's just say LT is loyal to Convicted.

RR:  Reports say LT hit him with a chair...

CK:  No comment.

RR:  ...Kicked him in the skirt on the way out...

CK:  No comment.

GBK and fellow noobs celebrating at some shitty gay-pride festival when dinooo announced he left Convicted

RR:  Let's talk about the new alliance Dinooo started; Qlimax.

CK:  Seriously?

RR:  Dinooo, GBK, and Ruphus Duphus started it ---

CK:  The name, they really called it Qlimax?

RR:  Yes.

CK:  Qlimax what?

RR:  That's it.

CK:  What?

RR:  Just Qlimax.

CK:  Why?

RR:  He named it after some music festival he attended as a child.

CK:  You're fuckin kidding me, right?

RR:  No, I'm not.

CK:  No comment.

dinooo protesting after Chuck Grace, a former Cocksmen, was voted into Convicted by the OG committee.  He went full body shave and shirtless to show how serious he was.

RR:  There were rumors that there's been a rift between members in Convicted for a long time.  Is that true?

CK:  No, I haven't heard that one yet.

RR:  They say it started sometime after Chuck Grace was voted into Convicted.That Dean was against the idea of adding a cocksmen to the alliance.

CK:  He just created an alliance called Qlimax with a former Cocksmen and a pikachu loving manchild GBK.  I don't think he has any issues with cocks-or-men or the two combined in any way.

RR:  Did you just suggest that Dean Sutherland is....

CK:  Look, we've all heard the rumors about Dinooo and his boy toy Dean Sutherland Jr.I'm not saying he is or isn't or that they're true or not true.  

It's just coincidental, that's all.

The multi-plying noobs marching in Qlimatic fashion during the new alliance's annual march of pride.

RR:  Are you worried about Qlimax competing with Convicted as a top alliance?

CK:  No.

RR:  Do you think that they will dethrone you for alliance of the year?

CK:  No.

RR:  With Dinooo, GBK, and Duphus at the helm, you're not worried about their potential.

CK:  Dinooo wears a skirt, GBK still loves pokemon, and Duphus needs viagra to get out of bed.

RR:  Wow, you're really not worried about them at all?

CK:  No.  They'll compete with the likes of LOD and Tycoon Alliance.They're a name change and a long way from competing with the likes of us.

RR:  Any closing statements?

CK:  We are Convicted.  We are one. We do not forgive.  

                              We do not forget.    Expect us.​  

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