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What the hell is cracking crackers? For those of you who have had their faces pressed into pillows for the last little while and do not know who I am (most likely due to the lack of eyes in the back of a human head), I am K-Rad and I am the new outrageously handsome face and voice of The Four Kings. I'm not the only one, consider me a supplement, like cialis or viagra, or a can of cooking spray some cling wrap and a copy of the lingerie section from the local department store. I am a helping hand so to speak. I have recently come over from OverComing, another quality Amsterdam ID restricted org so I am excited to be putting my skills to use in a similar environment and what has recently become the 2nd highest ranking organisation in Amsterdam. Tonight is shaping up to be a great night of entertainment as the 205lbs title goes on the line and a good mix of weight classes are
represented across the card. Many of these fighters are new to me so it will be a great adventure for us all as we take a look at the top 5 fights being hyped on the card:
Wolverine "Admantium jaw" Warpath vs. Stefan "Skyscraper" Struve
Heavyweight
One fighter who is not new to me is "Admantium Jaw" Warpath, the undefeated-from-4 SHW of OverComing fame who is looking to make his 4K debut against the equally impressive and undefeated "Skyscraper" Struve. It is probably time for a change of nicknames as Warpath is actually 3cm taller than Struve although this will probably suit "Skyscraper's" game plan as he needs all the help he can get for his very average wrestling to successfully give his brown belt an opportunity to go to work. Warpath for his part is a big boxer and his purple belt means he probably won't need to change his game plan of punching heads too much to take into account Struve's tendency towards submissions. This fight should be a lot of fun, especially as there will be tears when one man loses his perfect record and with Warpath never competing against someone with superior jitsu and Struve's record of taking down fighters with superior wrestling I am expecting "Skyscraper" to make it 4-from-4 via submission of his choice.
Liha Tuukka vs. Sam Lojack
Heavyweight
Two more impressive up-and-coming super heavyweights are Tuukka and Lojack, the first of which had his 5 fight win streak put to an end by tonight's main event entrant, Sheynauvah, in his last appearance. Tuukka has showcased heavy hands thanks to some decent boxing and strong wrestling but with Lojack keen to put his substantial height advantage to use to support his quality kickboxing this is going to be a hard fought battle on both sides. Tuukka has shown good intelligence in the past, knowing when to takedown and when to keep it standing, but tonight I would expect him to be keen to put this on the floor and away from Lojack's kicking game. This is a tactic which may just work in Lojack's favour if he has the takedown defense to counter, something he has shown in the past, but with a tendency to go to decision I think that it will just be a matter of time before Tuukka has his way with him and wins the fight via knock out.
Igor "The Pollock" Ignatowski vs. Project Ghetto
Lightweight
It seems no matter where I go, the curse of Polish names will haunt me. The latest fighter to work on my phobia of excessively Slavic pronunciations is "The Pollock" Ignatowski who is taking on Ghetto in a battle of experience versus undefeated. "The Pollock" however will be feeling just as confident as his opponent as he too is riding a 3 fight win streak, all via TKO. Ghetto is an incredibly well trained fighter for one so young and "The Pollock" will certainly have his work cut out for himself as he hopes to keep it standing and that his boxing is enough to be up to the task of meeting Ghetto's over all
superior striking game. With all 3 of Ignatowski's losses coming via knock out it makes me think his chin may not be up to the task of handling Ghetto tonight and I am picking the latter to win a KO victory despite only managing a decision against a fighter in his 2nd professional bout which is very similar in ability to "The Pollock".
"Count" Bobby Newmark vs. Shawn "JoJo" Geissen
Cruiserweight. Co-Main Event!
A fantastic co-main event for you, made possible by two men who have only lost once in their respective professional careers, although in the case of "JoJo" Geissen it was in his last appearance as he challenged for the title against current champ Richards. Both of these men will be keen to win tonight to show their worthiness of title contention and with both keen to keep it standing and trade blows it will be a terrific fireworks display for the fans. Newmark is the taller of the 2 men by 14cm which will suit his kickboxing style to a tee and make it difficult for Geissen to get close and put his superior boxing to work. Both men have shown high capability in the KO department but with Geissen currently inbound from New York and already slightly fatigued his less than perfect energy levels might make all the difference. This is a very tough fight to call but I am going to back "JoJo" to take the win, despite being a little tired, based simple on his record of ending fights within the first couple of minutes. Let's call it another KO!
"Mr. Hammerstorm" Tyler Richards vs. Leonidas "The Phenom" Sheynauvah
Cruiserweight. Main Event TITLE FIGHT!
An excellent combination of title fight and grudge match makes up tonight's main event as "Mr. Hammerstorm" Richards looks to defend his title for the 3rd time against the very many he snatched it from originally, the 2 time defender "The Phenom" Sheynauvah. There's so much talent in the cage that the party in my pants is in severe danger of being out of control. "Mr. Hammerstorm" is hoping to make it 5 wins in a row tonight and there's good chances for 4 OTN awards in a row too as his incredible ground game takes on the brilliance of "The Phenom's" standing game. This bout is all about who can control where the fight takes place and who comes out the hardest. I have a sinking feeling that Sheynauvah's wrestling just hasn't come far enough in the time between when they last met and I am expecting Richards to once again slide through his defenses like my face between a Swedish super models legs, and just like that blonde bombshell "The Phenom" is going to be on his back being pounded until he can no longer walk. Is that too graphic? Then don't bring your kids cos it isn't going to be any prettier in the cage, one of these men is going to get KTFO! My money is on the champ to retain his title!
There you have it boys and girls, your first time with K-Rad. Was it good for you too? I was gentle. Once you've finished washing the tears out of your pillows put on your favourite stupid looking TapOut t-shirt which is covered in so many graphics you look like the casual wear equivalent of one of those lycra wearing cycling enthusiast fruits and get on down to Hard Knocks in Amsterdam for all the good times your premium priced ticket can handle!
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