2016-10-09
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RFC 10: In the Zone

Event Review: RFC 10: In The Zone
Rebirth Fighting Championship 285K & 300K
2016-10-01, Hilo, Hard Knocks - Hilo
Attendance:2,642, Event Rating:132
Author:The Impaler

 RFC 10: In the Zone brought to us by Hilo’s own Vikai Gear!!! The merchandise partner of Rebirth FC! Be sure to check them out, as Vikai has some reasonably priced clothing for your fighters. Also special thanks to Krum Koev for the sweet event posters.



 


RFC 10 was RFC’s first venture into the Hilo Hard Knocks Arena, and it was a complete success. The house was packed with people out to see the best fights Hilo has to offer. Impaler quipped that the RFC show this Saturday would be better than anything Steel Penn/ICON would be putting on, only to find out there was no SP/ICON event this week. Impaler chuckled, “Did they close their doors already?!!!!” Meanwhile the doors were wide open at the Hard Knocks Arena, and the celebrities were piling in more than ever.  Tycoon manager The Clown Prince of Crime was in the house. He had been recently given a chance for oe of his 300k 145 fighters to face off vs RFC’s own Bruce Wayne, but Mr. J didn’t have the guts to face the Batman. Hollywood stars Ed O’Neill and Mark Walhberg were in the stands. In Impaler’s special guest box was Dissolution Fighting Championship owner Jay Lawerence. Was he at the arena to watch his star attraction Akuma Kamealoha, or are the rumors about possible RFC and DFC cooperation true. No one knows for sure, but Impaler and Jay sitting together had the fans in a frenzy with excitement. Also in Impaler’s box were major free agents Brent "Beastmode" Boston and Kassim "The Albino" Magufuli. Since the box was an all LOD, Impaler had a special surprise for his guys……World Class Porn Stars Tori Black, Alexis Texas, Mikki Benz, Kayden Kross, Lexi Belle, and Jesse Jane. RFC favorites Cliff Hangar, Toby Coleman, and Uriah Small were seen in the crowd. RFC resident coward Lee Fernandez was again in attendance. As per his punishment for being a coward this week he stood cageside dressed as a cheetah. Also in attendance were four guys dressed as what appeared to be masked turtles. Vladamir Putin was amazingly also on hand to see the Pride of Russia, Aleksey Markov fight for the title. You never know what you will see in RFC!!!!!!


 


185 lbs  Raja Khan vs Justin Andrews       KO (Punch)         1              00:36     185 lbs Title        


 The main event of the night saw the Sultan of Swing face off against Quickdick Justin Andrews in the dirtiest nickname match up in Tycoon MMA history. Andrews, a major FA, came in and was handed a title fight by Impaler after dominating Bushido’s 205 class. Andrews presented a problem Khan had never dealt with in his career, as an elite International Wrestler. The world has wondered how Khan would handle an elite takedown artist. Pror to the fight the Stormin Norman camp was said to have brought all the top strikers form the LOD alliance to assist Andrews with his training. From those within the camp, no one could stay on their feet vs Quickdick for more than a few seconds. Yet when the bell rang, Quickdick, was looking far from quick and agile. Once he saw the bell rang, Andrews looked across the cage and reacted like he was locked in with a Bengal Tiger. Instead of the aggressive takedowns everyone heard about, Andrews appeared hesitant to get near Khan. But like his ancestors, Raja Khan showed no mercy to his opponent. Where Andrews hesitated, Khan engaged. Where Andrews backed up, Khan raged forward. Finally left hand rocked Andrews, and a big right hand brought the match to a halt as Andrews dick was quickly in the mat. Impaler came to the ring and gave Khan a round of applause. Then he announced Khan’s next opponent, another beast out of the LOD camp……5-0, with 4 by way of KO…….Chris Maint!!!!! Maint came to the cage and the two men faced off, neither backing down. If not for Impaler stepping in between them, the fans may have gotten a second main event for free. Maint took the mic and swore he would avenge his LOD brother, Andrews. Khan then took the mic and told Maint he would join the LAME (Less than A Minute Elite) club with his buddy Andrews.


 


265+ lbs Akuma Kamealoha vs Aleksey Markov  TKO (Strikes)      1              00:48     265+ lbs Title     


Holly Stackhouse didn’t even go back to the back after his fight, he went to the front row and knocked Lee Fernandez out with one punch, taking his seat cageside. Apparently Holly had some serious interest in the co main event of the evening as Hilo’s version of Rocky faced off against the Pride of the Motherland, Aleksey Markov. Markov and Russian TV had been making remarks about Akuma’s physique. Markov, a chiseled specimen of a man with almost nonexistent body fat and bulking muscles, stated he was disgusted by Akuma’s “Fat American Body.” Markov claimed after the fight, once he slaughtered Akuma, he was going to have a Hawaiian pig roast with his body. Markov came to the cage, saluted by Putin and his KGB comrades, draped in the Russian flag with the Russian National Anthem playing. Markov passed a camera and yelled he was taking the belt “back to the Motherland.”  Then Akuma slowly, methodically came to the cage. Draped in the American Flag, Akuma Kamealoha came to the cage looking like a different fighter. No frills, no ladies, just the American Flag with a pissed off Hawaiian. The two men never unlocked eyes as all the pre-fight activities took place. Finally the bell rang, and Akuma went from Rocky to Muhammad Ali, floating and dancing around the cage. Markov could catch nothing but air, as the massive Hawaiian moved to avoid everything he threw, and then landed a couple shots of his own. Finally Markov learned a very valuable lesson, once a “Fat American Body” presses you up against the cage, its hard to get free. As Akuma slammed the stunned Russian into the cage so hard no one would have been surprised if he came out the other side as a collection of Markov cubes. Then Akuma unleashed his power on mentally broken Russian fighter. Less than a minute in, and the USA chants rang through the air, and Putin and the KGB were in a fury as Markov fell to the mat a broken man. After the match the peaceful Akuma beckoned Putin to the cage in a show of brotherhood and sportsmanship. Putin came to the cage and met the massive Hawaiian face to face. He extended his hand to Akuma, who reach for his hand, before pulling back blasting the Russian leader with a big right hand. The Hawaiian crowd went crazy as KGB officials attempted to get to their unconscious leader. Akuma grabbed the mic and proclaimed, “Brudeh, Gods don’t shake hands with mortals!!!!!!!!!!”


 


265+ lbs Holly Stackhouse vs Garrett Reddish      KO (Punch)         1              01:44                    


Over halfway through the main card, and its another barn burner!!! The third fight of the main card featured possibly the most feared man in RFC’s SHW division, Holly Stackhouse, vs the hottest new FA in the division, Garrett Reddish. Both men were coming off dominant wins over tough competition. Reddish came to the middle of the cage and began working Holly’s legs right away with strong leg kicks. Holly just kept taking his time, measuring Reddish, as he took one leg kick after another. But then Stackhouse unleashed a vicious left, right combo sending Reddish flopping all over the cage like a wounded animal. Stackhouse stalked his prey, loading up his punches. Throwing 4 punches, Holly landed an amazing 3 knockdowns on his opponent. Finally, and mercifully, the ref stepped in ceasing the brutalization happening to Reddish. After the match Holly against grabbed the mic, yelling…..”FEED ME…….(glances at a lawyer looking guy in a grey suit with a John Cena tie pin) A LARGER AMOUNT!!!!!!!!!!”


 


265+ lbs Karl Ellison vs Julio Cezar              KO (Punches)    1              00:20                    


The second fight on the main card saw a straight boxing match between a couple grizzled veterans. Impaler was calling this fight the FOTN favorite on the card. Karl Ellison came into the night betting on himself with only this fight left on his contract. Unfortunately Julio Cezar, who had been telling anyone who would listen how he was too much for Ellison on the feet, came into the match looking a bit soft around the mid-section. Rumors from his camp claimed Cezar was spending most nights at the club, and his days fighting hang overs. Once the bell rang, Ellison was ready to help Cezar with his headache. Cezar’s night ended early for a change, as Ellison dropped him 20 seconds into the match.


 


155 lbs  Oroku Saki vs Moo Tang                TKO (Strikes)      1              02:59                    


The first fight of the night saw the sinister Shredder, leader of the Foot Clan, face off against RFC vet Moo Tang. Moo brought his 1-1 record in vs the newcomer Shredder. The Shredder came to the cage in full Shredder garb, spiked armor with the purple cape and bladed helmet. Good thing for Moo he wasn’t allowed to wear his armor. However when the match started, Moo was the one needing armor. The Shredder lived up to his name as he came charging toward him pinning Moo against the cage. Even without his blades, the Shredder was still slicing and dicing his opponent. His razor sharp elbows cut Moo open early. Like the butchered cow he was, Moo’s blood poured as The Shredder went from shredding to tenderizing the meat in front of him. It wasn’t long before Moo had all he could stand, and the match was over. After the match The Shredder thanked his sparring partners at the Foot Gym. When asked how he got in such great condition, The Shredder stated he kept a strict diet of turtle soup. When asked about his perfect game plan, the Shredder thanked his coach Krang, who he claimed with a chuckle was the “brains of the operation” for preparing him mentally for the fight. 

 

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