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 HELLO and WELCOME BACK to another Titillating Night! Tapout or Passout 17 is another sellout event, and we have not one, but TWO Belts on the line tonight! Tapout or Passout 17 Seek & Destroy has already been Sought! We are now gathered here to see who will be Destroyed!
We start off this night with the Rumbling of Giants! Our gargantuan combatants weighed in at 265, but these fellas seem like they REALLY hit the buffet afterwards! The cage can hopefully support this battle!
Rueben 'El Patron' Hernandez vs 'Doomsday' Donny McDoogle
'El Patron' is bringing some Granite to this Work of Art with some Stone fists and Boxing that is simply Wonderful! He has some sweet BJJ and can hold his own (but hopefully not in front of the camera and crowd) in his all-around game, but his Passion is Punching! Doomsday also reads from a similar resume. He swings for the fences and your Chin! He can handle himself and yourself on the ground, but if I was truly channelling my Psychic Skills, this will be a 'Stand-up until Someone Falls Down' situation! The BELL RINGS! Hernandez shoots for a takedown! Doomsday defends well but El Patron ends up in Doomsday's guard! El Patron is tossin some Ground and/or Pound! OOOH it looks like Doomsday has been CUT!!! El Patron IS THROWING! He tosses this, that, and the other thing! He is tossing the whole kitchen sink! Who is Gonna Do Them Dishes!!! But even that MISSES somehow! Doomsday is defending his full guard and protecting himself well from any strikes! El Patron is PUSHING! But the boulder is too large, no progress made! He lands a Sharp Elbow! Doomsday has been opened up even more. It's a gusher! El Patron is pressing forward, but Doomsday has isolated an arm and goes for a Kimura! El Patron defends it well, and reclaims that arm! El Patron throws an elbow that narrowly glances, but Doomsday seizes the oppourtunity and reverses positions! He's now in El Patron's guard! That is some slick Ground Game Folks! Doomsday appears to be happy with his newfound position, but the Ref sees him resting a bit too much, and calls a Stand-Up! We are two minutes in and back on our feet. El Patron fakes a leg kick (and throws on a cape) and WHAMMY!!! Superman Punch! El Patron has turned Doomsdays light out for tonight! El Patron serenades his fans with some sweet words and thanks them for their continued support.
Next up we have a tight battle for the 155lb Belt! Look to the horizon for the FIREWORKS!!!
'Pieter' Pieter Pieter vs 'Callaway' Dave Smith
Pieter "Cubed" has his stand-up skills covered, but his bread-N-butter is his ground-N-pound! He drops Bombs like Vietnams, and has solid BJJ. 'Callaway' brings a slight advantage on the feet. He has some Golden Gloves, and his knees might as well be made of Silver then! He knows how to handle himself on the ground, so this fight could happen anywhere and EVERYWHERE! BELL RINGS!!! Callaway has shot for a takedown right off the bat! He gets it and works down to Pieter's half guard. Both fighters are taking it cautious on the ground. Back and forth, each fighter pushes to advance position, but its Status Quo here! Pieter connects with some strikes! He is posturing, but Callaway holds guard. They appear well-matched! Strikes thrown, and defended well. Nothing getting through yet! Stand-Up! Pieter tried a takedown, it fails. Rinse and Repeat! Callaway is not getting through this Takedown D. Clinch! Callaway lures him in and then TAKEDOWN! Immediately, Pieter tries an ankle lock. He loses it quickly. Callaway slams the thunder down . . . into the mat! I bet that hurt (his own hand)! Pieter tries an Omoplata! It's defended well. Round 1 is in the books. I feel like Callaway held a slight advantage in that round
Round 2 - Callaway telegraphs a kick, but then scores another takedown in half guard! Callaway is looking for an arm triangle, but can't get his leg free to posture up! Callaway trying to advance but he is held in check! Pieter is tossing from the bottom, but its hard to do damage with no leverage. Being on the bottom handcuffs Pieter's striking game. The Ref tells the fighters to stay active and Callaway obliges by dropping a meaty Elbow, but nevertheless, Stand-Up! Callaway tosses a well-defended combo! Pieter tosses and hurts AIR! Callaway is moving well, but both fighters appear gassed already! Who has anything left in the tank? Both fighters exchange strikes, but nothing is finding a home! Pieter Cubed Moves in and gets the TAKEDOWN and proceeds to smack Callaway in the temple. Someone signed up for a GnP seminar, and Callaway is on the receiving end! Callaway tries for a triangle, but there is no Candy to be found. Pieter goes limb-hunting in response, but can't get the leg! He postures back up! And the round ends! Pieter took that round convincingly!
Round 3 - Callaway comes forward aggressively and we have a clinch! Pieter wants to take this 'Downtown'. Callaway is defending, but Pieter will NOT be refused. Pieter lands in Callaway's guard. Both fighters are jockeying for some advancement, but it's status quo don't cha know? Stand-Up! Pieter shoots in and scores a delicious Double-Leg Takedown! Pieter with some GnP! A quick Ref Stand-up again! Callaway wades right back in and puts Pieter on his back for a change. Callaway rests in Side Control. ANOTHER Stand-up! The Ref wants Action Jackson! Someone Call Samuel L.! He will know what to do! The fighter exchange glancing blows, and the Pieter scores a takedown into Callaway's guard! A lot of justling, and Pieter then drops back for a Heel Hook that he immediately knows he can't have! He moves back in and now a Guillotine? Nothing happening there. Round ends . . . Possibly 'Pieter' Pieter Pieters round? Alliteration anyone?
Round 4 - Who has any gas left? Someone I hope! Leg kick by Callaway. And then he drops down and drives a takedown straight into Pieter's guard! And Pieter goes right for the arm triangle. Another Hail Mary? It looked good but Callaway is greasy and slips out! Pieter is dropping some bombs! And some are hitting! OH GOD! That must've stung Son! Another crack delivered to Callaway's chin! He seems to still have his wits about him! Callaway is getting Swarmed! Pieter is working towards a guillotine! Callaway knows this but he is looking gassed! He escapes! Pieter continues striking away, and Callaway is keeping him from dealing real damage, but his body is starting to look like a mistreated tomato. He is softened, but not done by any means! Another round to Pieter!
Round 5 - Well this war HAS a final chapter! What great tales will unfold? Pieter shoots the takdown but he is stuffed like a Calzone! Damn I'm hungry! Callaway lands a solid kick, but misses the follow-up! Callaway surges forward and we have a Clinch! Knees flying from both sides! Calllaway wants to bring this downtown and lands himself into half guard! Seems like these fighters are Gassed! Pieters working from the bottom! Such a loose triangle we might as well call it a square! Another tighter Triangle! This one definitely has three sides, but Callaway defends it! Otherwise Callaway seems to be resting and breathing heavy and laying and praying (for his life!) Pieters lets him catch his breath! Pieters keeps active! Not much going on between these Tired Gladiators! Stand-Up! Finish Strong Lads! The fighters toss, but this might as well be a pillow-fight now! These two fighters have given their all, and the fact that either can still stand AT ALL impresses everyone in attendance! That is the final bell!
We have a Unanimous Decision! This one was so tight I am AMAZED the Judges could come close to agreeing! I could flip a coin! An amazing Spectacle! The winner by a unanimous 48:47 ruling is "Pieter" Pieter Pieter!!! We Have A NEW CHAMPION!!!
And Next Up We have some Tiny Titans come for their day of Reckoning!
Mika 'Z-Badass' Zibanejadass vs. Richard 'The Arm Snapper' Roberts
On the way into the Octagon Roberts is attacked by a Crazy Fan! Was that the just bleed guy? Why hasn't that pyscho been locked up yet? Anyways, back to our combatants! Mika comes in tonight with a strong background in Muay Thai. He has clearly spent many a year 'finding himself' in Thailand, and also found some very sharp Elbows and Knees! Roberts enters as a complete ground-fighter! If the fight goes down, only He comes back up, with your arm or your leg as a momento. He is a collecter, some say a Hoarder! And the BELL RINGS!!! Roberts tosses a right but Mika backs up. Roberts tossing again and another air ball! Z-Badass counters with a 1-2 to the body! Z-Badass with follow-up Upper-Cut and OOOH It Lands!!! Roberts is Rocked as AC/DC promised that "Those About To" Would So Be!!! Z-Badass chases him and 'Arm-Snapper" is stumbling! Z-Badass clinches, but Arm-Snapper breaks it quickly and circles back out! Arm-Snapper uses good head movement and dodges a hook! Z-Badass stuffs Arm-Snapper's takedown attempt. CLINCH!!! Roberts seems to have his wits about him again! Z-Badass stalls, Roberts wants to take this to the ground, but Mika holds control. Z-Badass lands a Knee to Arm-Snapper's head. His head has definitely been 'Snapper'ed!!! Roberts again trying to bring this fight to the mat! Z-Badass with another Knee! Roberts wants out of the clinch and now! Z-Badass lands a knee to the body, and then sneaks in an Elbow! And just for good measure, he postures out and another VICIOUS knee from Mika. I think I heard ribs popped ribs there! Some more Knees! We can see what Z-Badass wants, and Roberts want OUT badly! Z-Badass tosses a sharp elbow and it has Sliced Roberts! Z-Badass still controlling the clinch and holding his opponet. Another Knee! And Arm-Snapper can take this NO LONGER! He Jumps Guard! But the fighters are Greasy from all the action and Arm-Snappers hands slip and he falls Flat on his Back!!!Z-Badass stands and waits and lets Roberts stand back up. Z-Badass coming forward and WOW! A Hook from nowhere hands Arm-Snapper a blanket, teddy bear, and Turns the LIGHTS OUT! HE IS GONE! Z-Badass yells something indecipherable and walks off!
Next we have a fight among Light-Heavyweights! I don't really see the 'Light" part of the hulks, but I digress . . .
Jonny Goldberg vs. Cody Ramus
As the fighters walk in our cameraman has a wandering gaze stuck on a young starlet in the front row. She sure brings her own type of "Game' tonight, but wake up Carl! Okay, damn, he's a rookine cameraman! Our first "Seeker" tonight is Jonny Goldberg who comes in with Gold Gloves and a KO resume that backs up his beef! He also has All-Collegiate Wrestling on his resume, and is a Menace wherever the fight goes! Cody Ramus brings some decent boxing skills and can handle his own (and hopefully Goldberg) on his feet. His ground game is DISGUSTING! He is good on Top Or Bottom! (My ex-wife has that skill too but . . . ah nevermind) His wrestling is Amongst the Best and His Brown Belt BJJ isn't just there to match his khakis! The BELL RINGS! CLINCH! Goldberg rushes forward and pins Ramus against the cage! Ramus misses a body shot! BREAK CLINCH! Goldberg pushes out of the Clinch he himself initiated! Interesting strategy! Ramus now pushes Goldberg into the cage and clearly wants to take this fight to the Mat! Goldberg defends well and it stays standing. Ramus lands a hook to the head. Goldberg softens Ramus' ribs with a right! Ramus is in control though! Goldberg telegraphs an uppercut, and Ramus sees that old Tech and defends well. Ramus keeps up the pace, and controls the Clinch well. Neither fighter can make progress, but they are clearly feeling each other out in these early rounds. Goldberg defends a takedown and his reward is a square Uppercut to the Jaw! Goldberg wants out of this madness but he is being controlled. Ramus again tries for the takedown, but Goldberg's Underhooks aren't letting go! Goldberg breaks the Clinch! And then he goes RIGHT BACK IN!!! CLINCH!!! He lands an Uppercut and a right cross! Ramus reverses and now Goldberg is backed up on the cage! Many Tosses and many misses! These fighters are defending well! Ramus lands a left hand! Goldberg trades him back a right! Another BREAK! Ramus lands a hook! And Goldberg comes back in for some more sweet CLINCH-iness! Ramus takes a solid shot! The Crowd is loving this back-and-forth! Me? My head is spinning! Ramus lands an Uppercut! End of the Round! A very tight round! But Goldberg could take it on Ring Agrression and Initiating the Clinch!
Round 2 - Goldberg shoots right in and clinches! Ramus pops him a quick one! Goldberg with a shoulder strike! Both Fighters Stalling here! Goldberg is landing a few soft strikes, but no real damage to be found! Goldberg Uppercut! That was Ryu from Street Fighter incarnate! He should watch his swagger or else he might get staggered! Goldberg with another Uppercut, but then miss and another miss! Still controlling! Ramus returns an Uppercut, they are trading them like baseball cards! Have you collected em all? Goldberg lands an inside strike! Ramus is having a rest, gotta keep something in the ol Gas Tank! Ramus lands a left! Goldberg gives him a body hook and an inside uppercut! Both fighters are taking a mini-break, and I can't blame them! I'm exhausted on the sidelines! BREAK CLINCH!!! AND THEN GOLDBERG CLINCHES!!! A WORLD of Contradictions here! Goldberg tosses a looping body shot and misses. Both fighters seem exhausted and want out of this round! Goldberg gets a Jab in and the bell rings! It looks like Goldberg again took the 2nd round but we will have to leave that to the judges.
Round 3 - Goldberg wades in aggressively and lands a leg kick and then goes straight to clinch! These fighters seem to be equals in the clinch, but they bring their war there time and again! Goldberg punches Ramus' ribs. They are purple at this point! Ramus lands a shot to the head! This Stalemate is anything but Stale! Ramus wants out! Goldberg wants out! BOTH STAY IN!!! Both fighters are holding on for dear life! TAKEDOWN! Ramus finally gets this to the ground! Goldberg is scrambling but Ramus is controlling well. Ramus has Goldberg in his world now! Goldberg is in Survival Mode and Ramus' BJJ is just dirty and apparent! Sub Attempt! He is going for an Arm Triable but no Luck! Goldberg defends, but Ramus goes for that arm again! Great effort here! Ramus really wanted to rip that arm off and take it home and put it on the mantle, but alas, Goldberg defended well enough. The Judges Decisions are in! By an Unanimous Score of 29:28, our winner is Jonny Goldberg!!! Jonny genuinely thanks his fans and all those that motivated him towards his battle tonight!
And now we arrive at the MAIN FIGHTof the evening, A Bout for the 170lb Belt!
Pac Shakur vs. Juan Pablo Green
Pac Shakur enters this fight with some Excellent Boxing and Wrestling on his resume! He is no slacker in his Clinchwork and has good BJJ to follow suit! He has all his bases covered, but he favours Turning his Opponents Lights to DARKNESS!!! His bread and butter is definitely in the KO department! Juan Pablo brings a very similar skill set! He swings for the fences and therefore establishes what is HIS versus all pretenders. A great Boxer and Wrestler, with good MT and BJJ! I have rarely seen fighters so well-matched! The BELL RINGS!!! Juan Pablo Green wades in with a jab that Just Misses! Shakur blocks a head kick from Green! Green shoots, but Shakur defends well! Shakur lands a quick one and circles out! Shakur moves in range and lands a solid knee! OOOOH Straight to Juan's Pablo's groin region. Juan Juan-ted NONE of THAT!. Green takes some time to recover and make sure his boys can descend back down from their current location in his throat! That was accidental but hurt everyone in the audience almost as much as Green himself! Green says he is OK and We're are back at it! Shakur defends a Green takedown attempt! Shakur lands a jab to the body! Green tosses a jab but Shakur circles out of it! Shakur lands a heavy leg kick! Ouch! I can already see the welt forming on Green's leg! Green takes a hook to the head! Those bells ringing aren't the end of the round! Keep going Green! Shakur follows that up with a three punch combo! And ANOTHER Nasty Leg Kick! And Another! Shakur throws an Uppercut and Green eats it! Green still seems solid enough! BUT Shakur stays aggressive and lands a CROSS that ROCKS GREEN!!! Green cannot tell up from down from sideways and he is staggering in all directions! Can he re-compose himself? Green seems to be coming back around but BAAAM! Shakur swings hards and Cracks Green in the temple with a kick and it's ALL OVER!!!
We have a NEW WELTERWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! Pac Shakur is Tapout or Passout's new WW Champion! He thanks his sponsors and welcomes all challengers! He has just won, and he is already eager to establish himself! A champion who wants more? Who could ask for more?
I hope you enjoyed the review, Bubba McFistercuffs signing off until the next great ToP FC card!
Cheers
Bubba
Below is a quick blast on the prelim fights that took place on this amazing card!
Cigano Mejias def. Jason 'Do Em All' Stackhouse - Submission (RNC) - Round 1 (2:41)
Jakob 'The Silver Stomper' Silfversberg vs. Basic Three - Decision (Unanimous)
Vojtech Egorov vs. 'Dozilla' Romano Dzolic - Decision (Unanimous)
James Compton vs. James 'Big Gun' Gunter - Submission (Kimura) - Round 3 (1:35)
'Dean Of Mean' Kieth Jardine vs. 'Bobo' Jeffrey Bonanza - Decision (Unanimous)
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