The Next Big Thing?

Fighter profile of BitchFace PoopyPants by

Tonight, shortly after he won the Zero to Hero heavyweight title in a hard fought unanimous decision, I sat down with a young man who may just be the biggest thing to hit the London fight scene in the last several years… Bitchface Poopypants.

Me: Let me start by saying what an amazing fight that was tonight. How does it feel to be a 2 division champion?

BP: It feels great! I’ve been telling people that I’m ready to make my mark for a while now. And now I don’t think anyone will argue with me anymore. As for the fight, man that was definitely the hardest fight I’ve ever had. All respect due to Tadas Menelaos, that is one tough dude. I threw everything I had at him and couldn’t put away.

Me: That may be true but you dominated him in every round. What do you think was the difference maker for the fight

BP: The difference? The difference was I’m flat better than him. I know how to use my length to smack the crap out of people and my pace wears even the best of these big guys out. What a stupid question.

Me: Alright, sorry to offend. So can I ask what the deal with your name is? That can’t be what your mother called you.

BP: Yeah, fine. It comes from the insults me and my brother used to call each other. We were orphans in Kyrgyzstan and adopted over to the US when I was 5 and he was 4. Which sounds great, except it turned couple that adopted us were psychotic and beat us every chance they got. It was just me and him against the world… He got hit by a drunk driver when he was 12. I stuck around for a few months, but after that, man, I was gone. I had no attachment to the name those chumps gave me, and couldn’t even remember what it was before that, so as soon as I turned 18 I changed my name in honor of my brother.

Me: Wow, that’s some story. But isn’t it kind of an odd choice for a name? You could have honored him in a lot of ways.

BP: What, you got a problem with how I honor my brother?! How about I slap you upside the head and see what you got to say about it?

Me: No need for that… I’ll just stick with fight related questions, if that’s alright.

BP: Yeah why don’t you do that.

Me: You put on a lot of weight for this fight, are you still going to compete at 205, or move up permanently?

BP: I got both belts, and I ain’t giving either one up without a fight! I’m going to have to drop a little weight to be able to make the 205 limit again, but that shouldn’t take long. I’ll take on all challengers.

Me: Which belt would you like to defend first, and who would you like defend it against?

BP: I’ll take on anyone. If you’re in Zero to Hero and think you got a chance against me, just shout it out.  If you’re in London and think you can beat me, come sing up and I’ll beat you down too.

Me: What are your future goals?

BP: I only have one goal bro. And that’s to the best fighter in the world, hands down. I realize I’m gonna have to dish out a lot of beatdowns before I can claim that title, but I’m only 23 right now so I got the time to do it.

Me: Is there anything else you would like to add before we end the interview?

BP: Yeah. I just want to say that every 205er and 265er out there with gold around their waist is in my sights, and they all better be damn well aware of what they got coming for them.

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