A Slaughthouse Special Interview.

Editorial by Jax Rostenkowski

*Ring ringgggggg. Ring ringgggggg Ring ringgggggg. Ring ringgggggg*

Tom Tuxton: “Uhh, hello?”
Dominic Russello: “How many times do I have to ring? It’s me, get up and get to L.A. Now!”
Tom: “Dude, it’s 3:45 am, what the fuck?!”
Dominic: “Jax Rostenkowski has agreed to meet with you at the alliance headquaters and give us a full interview. Apparently everyone from the alliance is going to make an appearance. So don’t fucking miss your flight. It’s in 50 minutes.”
Tom: “Dom, you know it’s my week off. Find someone else, I aren’t interested.”
Dominic: “I’ll rephrase; this is the biggest interview we have got all year, go sort it or find a new job.”
* Beep Beep Beep*
Tom: Guess i’m off to Los Angeles.

After the quickest shower of my life, I rushed some stuff together, rang the cab company and to the airport it was. For the time of morning, the amount of cars on the road wasn’t what I was expecting. Especially all the douches cutting us off for no apparent reason other than to be a douche. After checking in, it was pretty straight forward flight. Touch down was a little rocky, but, we landed safely, so I think that is a successful landing.
Straight through security and a chauffeur was waiting for me. What a nice surprise. An even better surprise was free coffee and biscuits on the ride to the headquaters!

Reaching the headquaters in morning traffic was a true delight – not. Escorted upto the top floor and my journey was complete. I presumed the man behind the big double doors was Jax Rostenkowski. As I sat wondering if the receptionist would be up for some after hours fun, she signalled me in.

*Walking through the double doors, I offered my hand out to shake his hand*

Tom: “Hi, I’m Tom Tuxton, i’m from MMA Global News.”
Jax Rostenkowski: “Well, I guess you know who I am, right? Nice to meet you bud.”
Tom: The pleasure is all mine. So let’s get straight down to business. Slaughterhouse Inc. is what I want to know about. How did the alliance come about?
Jax: Well, I decided to take a break from MMA management after becoming a little blown out. I returned 7 months later and the alliances I saw at the top just weren’t anything special. It annoys me how pieces of shit like that can call themselves the best. They aren’t. So, I rang a few friends up and got Slaughterhouse under way.
Tom: What are the requirements to be a member of Slaughterhouse?
Jax: A great manager. I have no interest in these wannabe motherfuckers.
Tom: But, what classes as a great manager? And wannabe? Who is that aimed at?
Jax: Why does it have to be aimed at anyone? Okay, it was. Them Steel Penn wannabe motherfuckers. Anyone who is Steel Penn is a fraud. They’re bad for the whole MMA scene.
Tom: Why do you say that?
Jax: Look at the guy. He think he is this big top notch business man. He isn’t. He has aload of half wits running his global “empire” and just thows cash at it. No business sense at all.
Tom: I’m sure many looking at his many businesses would say it’s a successful “empire” that he has built.
Jax: And I would call them people dumb asses.
*Jax picks up the phone and tells someone to come into his office. 30 seconds later, in walks Schtekis Den Brutale*
Schtekis: “Nice to meet you sir and what shall I call you? “
Tom: “The names, Tom. Tom Tuxton. Ha, sorry, I always wanted to say that on an interview”
*Everyone lets out a little laugh*
- Still smirking- Tom: So Schtekis. Being fairly new to the...
Jax: “Oi, wait a minute. Schtekis; tell him what a piece of of doo-doo Steel Penn is.
Schtekis:”Do I even need to tell him? Look at them. Nothing but dumb rich daddy boys trying to play at the MMA scene.
Jax: “Hahahaha, that’s my boy. I took Schtekis under my wing not so long ago. What an addition he has been. Currently manager some inexperienced boys, he has managed to 6 wins already. Running a successful fight organization in Rio, he is a quick witted business man. Running businesses how they should be run – unlike the “Steel Penn empire you’re so fond of Tommy boy.”
Schtekis: -Smirking, facing the sky- Well what can I say? I am a Swedish God!
Tom: Nothing like a bit of confidence eh. I didn’t say I was fond of Steel Penn. Just have to admire the many businesses they have. Lets get back on track. Many are saying that Slaughterhouse aren’t a threat to other alliance due to the new members you have. What do you two say to that?
*Jax shouts at the top of his voice*
Jax: Boys! Get in here.
*Both doors open, in walk eight the other eight members of Slaughterhouse.
Jax: I’d like to welcome Slaughterhouse Inc. Sonny, Roger, Lek, Ryan, Wessel, Growth, Dark and Vladimer.
Tom:Nice to meet everyone.
Growth: If only we could say the same. You’re a funny looking thing aren’t you!
* Loud laughter from everyone in the room*
Vlad: Awwwhhhh look, he’s going red!”
Jax: I see what you mean! His forehead looks a little blockish right?
Roger: And his ears are pointy as hell.
Tom: This isn’t what I came for, can we please get on track?
Jax: I suppose so... you alien look-a-like motherfucker
*HAHAHAHAHAAH*
Dark: Dude, let’s hurry up and finish this. I have somewhere I need to be.
Tom:Thanks. As I was saying; many other alliance aren’t calling you a threat due to the inexperience of some of your managers. What are your thoughts on this?
Sonny: Well, I wouldn’t call myself inexperienced.
Dark: Nor me.
Jax: Sure, we have a few inexperienced guys. But, they’re under the tutolige of myself and some of the more experienced managers in the alliance. So, I would call us a threat. Look at the rankings – who’s first? We are. We have the top win percentage in the world.
*Jax pulls out a piece of paper* It reads:

Slaughterhouse Inc. (41-14-0-0 74.55%)
Convicted Inc (2962-1113-48-47 71.03%)
The Broken Halo Pride (3671-1535-66-63 68.81%)
Varsity Club (49-21-4-1 65.33%)
Hellraiser Inc (687-369-8-7 64.15%)

Jax: Yeah, not a threat.
Sonny: Convicted second in the world. Hahahaha, who are they trying to kid? Nothing but a bunch of company stealing gangster wannabes.
Tom: What do you mean?
Sonny: I go away for a little bit and look at them. Trying to steal Hellbent from under my nose.
Tom: I’m sorry but from what was reported, they just didn’t want to see a good company go to waste?”
Sonny: “That’s what was reported, that’s not what happened. They tried to steal it. No two ways about it. Chris Karter and his other little ginger minions are another set of fraudsters.
Tom: Jax called Steel Penn a set of fraudsters earlier: are you also saying Convicted are too?
Sonny: I’m calling them a bunch of man loving, horse humping, bitches. Especially Chris Karter.
Tom: That’s some offensive wording right there, are you sure you want me to print that?
Sonny: You up Karter’s ass too? You print what comes out of my mouth. Little bitch.
Jax: Calm down Sonny Jim. And what the hell are you doing Dark?
Dark: Got a big bogey dude, need to get it...
Jax: Fucking disgusting.
Tom: Let’s take a quick break? It seems to be getting off track.
*Everyone nods in agreement.*

After a quick ten minute break, everyone seems a little more at ease with me around. As I look over to the window Jax and Dark seem deep in converasation. I raise my voice “Are we all ready to continue?”

Sonny: “If you stop being a Convicted ass licker.”
Jax: “Sonny, enough picking on the writer boy.”
*Jax and Dark nod at each other and Dark walks out of the room*
Tom: “Where is Dark going?”
Jax: “Got some business to take care of.”
Roger: “Probably going for a shit. That guy is disgusting. Seriously. We went to a strip club, he got totally wrecked and ended up taking a shit on the table. Security threw us out.”
*Astonishment across the faces of everyone*
Sonny: “HAHAHAHA, you have got to be shitting me?!”
Schtekis: “Mind the pun!”
*Everyone looking amused except Tom*
Roger: “Then he was sick on himself in the taxi home.”
Tom: “As delightful as that story was, I really need to get finished...”
Jax: “Moody ass. But I do agree. I have places to be.”
Tom: “So Sonny, Convicted. What is your problem with them?
Sonny: Bunch of window lickers. Can’t stand any of them. They have always been shady and they proved that trying to steal Hellbent from under my nose. I was contemplating suing them for stealing designs from MY world famous shop but Jax convinced me to kick some ginger ass instead.”
Tom: “How do you intend to do that?”
Jax : “Sonny, keep that mouth shut.”
Sonny:” Well, that would be telling wouldn’t it. But don’t worry, expect it to be one hell of a show.”
Tom: “I’m sure our fans would love to know what it is. Maybe a little hint?”
Jax : “No. Not today.”
*Looking around at the other members, only Jax and Sonny seem to know what was going on*
Sonny: “Like he said, it’s not the right time. But I do have some exclusive pictures of a Convicted alliance party. How about them?”
Tom: “Well, I will have to have a look first?”
Sonny: “Sure, give me a minute to go get them.”
*Sonny walks out*

Ryan: “Even I haven’t seen these, I can’t wait!”
Ja x:  “Ryan, they’re amazing. Well – if you’re into that sort of thing!”
Ryan: “So, I don’t want to see – or I do and then wish I hadn’t?”
Jax: “You got it.”
Tom: “This doesn’t sound good.”
*Sonny walks back in with photos in hand*
Sonny: “Have some of that sir!”
*Hands the photos to Tom*
Tom: “Holy mother of God. What the actual f...”
Sonny: “As you can see, Karter the little ginger midget on the left, Jbomb in the middle and Mannetosen on the right.”

Left to right: Chris Karter, Jason "J-Bomb" Smith" and "Salad" Mañuel Tosèn.

Tom: “That is quite disturbing.”
Sonny:” Now do you trust Convicted? Told you, bunch of tree hugging, cross dressing, gangster wannabes.”
Tom: I can’t comment on that, but the photos are pretty solid evidence.
Sonny: BOOMMMMMM.
Tom: I am sure alot of the MMA community will agree that they’re great MMA managers regardless of what they do at the parties they hold?
Jax: “Maybe so. No doubting that but what Sonny is trying to say is: they are not a top MMA alliance. And as for business for such “top” managers they only have one decent business between them and that is Conviction.”
Sonny: And that’s only have decent. Why do you think they wanted Hellbent?
Tom: I can’t help but think you’re just being a tad bitter. You have to admire the Convicted abilities both business wise and management wise.
Sonny: They have got you CONNED.
Schtekis: Haha, love it!
Sonny: Just for you Schtekis.
Tom: That’s all I need. Lets move on from Convicted.
*Knock knock*
Jax: “Come in”
*Walks in Sean McDonnel and some unknown behind him*
Jax: “Oh, hey dude. What’s up?”
Sean: “ Just dropping in to speak about that “thing” but I guess it can wait.”
Jax: “Gunna have to my man. And please, don’t bring that Humors wannabe Castor in here again.”
Sean: “He isn’t all bad. He makes me a mean coffee. And it’s a free dry cleaning pick up boy.”
Jax: “Can’t argue with that. I’ll call you later.”
Sean: “A’ight man, catch you later.”
*Sean and Castor walk out.*
Tom: “What was that all about?”
Jax: “Just something and nothing.”
Tom: “Well rumour has it you have a few more members are due to be joining Slaughterhouse. Is Sean one?”
Jax: “I aren’t speculating on rumours.”
Tom: Well, according to my sources, Sean, Active Serial Killer and Cus Damato are going to be joining up.  Can you deny or confirm these claims?”
Jax: “No comment.” But they would all be welcome. Well, I aren’t sure i’d actually let an Aussie in. But like I said, no comment.”
Tom: Okay, not a problem. According to these sources though Jax, you aren’t everything you first seem. Many say you’re shady? Can you explain what they mean?
Jax: “Or you could bring the sources in and tell them to explain?”
Tom: That isn’t possible but here is a quote: “Jax Rostenkowski is a son of a bitch. He screwed Steel Penn over by 40 million.He scammed a fight organisation and then left the MMA industry for a while Steel Penn was real hurt about that. And now both are mightly bitter to each other – Zyd.”
Jax: “Oh, good old Zyd. I didn’t scam anything. I made money. Business – eat or be eaten.”
Tom: “But don’t you believe it was a little under handed?”
Jax: “What was under-handed? That I sold a company on? So, no.”
Tom: “You keep talking about business. What business do you currently have?”
Jax: “Currently, two gyms, an organisation in Rio which I run with Sonny and Schtekis. In the alliance we have 5 fight organizations. Hellbent speaks for itself and a couple of gyms dotted around. Is that enough? I also have my fingers in a few other projects, but that’s all you’re getting on that.
Tom: Well, it seems you’re a busy man.
Jax: Money, money and more money.
*Numerous “YEAHHHH’s” from around the room*
Tom: Is there anyone you would like to call out to face some of the alliances fighters?
Growth:” I’ll fight anyone! “
Jax: “We aren’t scared of anyone. I’d like to fight any wannabe from Steel Penn. “
Sonny: “GIVE ME CONVICTED!”
Schtekis: “How about we have a tournament in Rio to prove who is best? Slaughterhouse, Convicted, Steel Penn and them G.T.I pussies against each other?”
Jax and Sonny: “WHY THE FUCK NOT?! HAHAHA”
Tom: So, you’re calling out Steel Penn, Convicted and G.T.I.?
Sonny: “Seems so.”
Tom: What have G.T.I done?
Growth: They’re a bunch of tea drinking pussies. The management sets easy fights up for theirs fighters.
Tom: Do you have any proof of this?
Growth: Just go look at the history of fights they had? They have two alliances two? What is that all about? One only has three members. What, was they too good for the first G.T.I alliance?!
*Laughing from various members*
Sonny: Maybe Convicted, G.T.I and Steel Penn should join together?
Tom:Why?
Sonny: “Wannabe gangsters, whiney bitches and just damn right fucking idiots. They would get on great!”
Tom: Can I ask why you’re so bitter towards everyone Sonny?
Jax: “ No you can’t. That’s enough for today. Before things take a turn for the worst. Thanks for coming Tom. It was a pleasure to meet you. I will call you up when we’re ready for a second interview.”
Tom: Can I just summarize? Convicted, Steel Penn and G.T.I are all bitches?
Sonny: Yes.
Tom: You have called them all out?
Growth: Yes.
Tom: To take place in Rio?
Schtekis: Yes.
Tom: Got it. Thanks alot guys. Until next time.

As I was packing up my stuff, Jax came over to me. “Sorry for some of the stuff the lads say. Can’t help boys being boys.” I nodded and shook his hand. Walking out of the room, I thought it was a pretty easy escape.
*SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLAT*

As I turned around, they had all lined up and started throwing eggs at me. What a bunch of cocks. Stood at the back, Jax smiling like a cheshire cat. I couldn’t wait to get out of this fucking building. And no chance would the receptionist be coming for after hours drinks now.

Thanks for reading, Tom Tuxton.


Don't take this personal. It's all fabricated. It's role playing. Yes, there will be a part two, I didn't want to post it all in one...

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