Nuts with Guts

Fighter profile of Lester Jangles by Aylib 2.0

Those of you who got the pleasure of seeing One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest need no introduction to Randle McMurphy. The insidious hooligan who claimed to fuck and fight too much did not get suffocated by Big Chief's humongous hands. That's right, it was all a hoax. Don't believe me? All it takes is one look at Synchronicity's site, and on it's middleweight roster you shall see a certain someone named Randall "P" McMurphy.

According to Mac, as he was belovingly known to all those deranged and demented, he not only survived the benign attempt at assassination, he was able to reverse the affects of lobotomy. How, you might ask? That, he says, he isn't quite ready to reveal, however, he did say that after he made his getaway using the two harlots and a schoolbus, he lived peacefully up in Pickering, Ontario for nearly a decade.

"I lived a granola-lifestyle. You know, growing my own herbs, riding a bicycle everywhere, dating women that don't shave their privates. Ha, kidding about that one. I've laid low for quite some time, and was granted immunity. Ain't life grand? I was exploring the great city of Toronto once, and happened to become acquainted with a lovely woman that was willing to show me good times, and let me tell you, I did make up for all those times laying low. The events that took place are jagged pieces of memory, possibly exaggerated, possibly diminished in their intensity, but what stuck out was smoking crack with a man who vehemently claimed to be the Mayor of Toronto.

Things got even fuzzier after freebasing non-stop for several days, but then I found myself at the Air Canada Centre, sitting in a suite, and life just kept getting better. I was introduced to Georges Saint Pierre, who was in town and cheering on his beloved Habs. Georges professed to be a big fan of mine, saying that he hated nurse Ratchett and then had me sign his Montreal jersey. We chatted for a bit, and he seemed like a great, standup guy. He told me that I would be welcome to come and see him perform his craft, gave me his number and inivted me to Tri-Star gym in Quebec.

Long story short, I embraced the face-pounding with all of my heart, and made a commitment to learn the lay'n'prays, wall'n'stalls, and everything else that comes along with it, afterall, you might remember me saying: "I fight and fuck too much" and I am now in the business of making men weep and philandering has never been easier.

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