A Sit-down with the Bizzare One, Smokey Reaper

Fighter profile of Smokey Reaper by

So here I am, a humble reporter, interviewing Michael Brakeley’s latest fighter, Smokey Reaper, nicknamed The Bizarre One.

Reporter: My first question is, you have an unusual name. How did you come by it?

Smokey: Well, I tell you this, read the meaning and you will understand my name. Now imagine a village ….

(Starts to gently sing)

She walked out quietly one morning in vain, the cars and the cold had conspired with the rain, she pulled up her coat and she tightened her scarf, she felt afraid and she stayed for a laugh.

The clouds moved across and the light slipped away, and there stood an old man dressed strangely in grey, she asked him through closed lips so where are you from, what strange distant country do you beckon from, My name is the reaper, the leveller, the light, I’ve come here to claim you and make you my wife, lords chiefs and ladies all bow down to me, I care not for them I crave only thee.

Say I’ve not come with you for I am not done, my arms still hold lovers my pure heart still burns, my skin glows with red blood that flows through my veins, but lay with me once if its life that you crave.

And there in the night came a mighty great storm, and death and the lady held tightly till dawn, and deep in the morning they parted and prayed, then the good lady she went on her way.

Reporter: Umm, I think I know now why your nickname is the Bizzare One. Im confused, could you elaborate on this?

Smokey: GOD DAMN!! These electric sex pants are powerful. I was told you were clever! I do not speak I tell you a story of my name, I was young and changed it to Reaper but there was already a reaper, so I chose Smokey. I AM DEATH in my story and my story is only beginning, once I have chosen rock, paper or scissors, my path will have decided which road to take and all lords will bow before the Smokey Reaper.

(Smokey takes his joint and his chair sinks through the ground)

Reporter: Well, I’m not sure what to make of this and I did not get an answer, perhaps my true calling is to find out who he is. Until next time, if you have read this far then I applaud you and you deserve a cookie, go on get yourself a cookie.

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