|
 Rio Chain Gang is proud to pay tribute to the fighters who hold the RCG record for various outside the cage accomplishments. We will also be paying tribute to our fighters who holds our in cage records once we have had more events and clear leaders are established. But for now, we present our record holders for some remarkable outside the cage accomplishments.
Tallest fighter: Bruce Honeybottom – 205 cm
Shortest fighter: Roid “Rage” Whitaker – 150 cm
Heaviest fighter: Three way tie, 275 lbs
Lightest fighter: Mark “The Mut” Lang – 130 lbs
Most time spent on the run: Charlie “Morbo” Morbolev – Arrested at age twenty-one for grand theft auto, Charlie skipped out on his bail and spent three years on the run. Finally, tired of always looking over his shoulder Charlie had enough and decided to turn himself in. Ironically all charges were dropped due to a technical glitch, no one could find the original arrest report. Way to go Charlie.
Most time spent incarcerated: Sean “Tornado” Taylor – Convicted of manslaughter at the age of twelve after being charged as an adult. Sean spent his entire adolescence in California's Pelican Bay supermax prison. Due to escape attempts and many assault charges while in prison, Sean did not see freedom again until age twenty-four. Sean used his time wisely though learning to master the martial arts. He turned pro at age twenty-five and has been mowing down the competition.
Most prison breaks: “The Game” Trenton Funkhouser – Trenton says “They can't build a prison that can hold me”. With 23 successful escapes from maximum security, I believe him. But Trenton likes to live the good life and refused to hide afterward and was always captured again, usually while out partying. Trenton finally decided he would serve his time and put that chapter of his life behind him. Trenton has a new escape skill now, one he uses in the cage.
Ugliest fighter: Mr “HaHAhAhaHA” Joker – Voted most likely to make his prom date puke, Mr Joker takes this category hands down. Sorry Joker, but aging has only made things worse. His reflection in the mirror has actually driven him insane. Need proof? Read the smack talk thread.
Biggest womanizer: “Prince” Yngve Stolt – Yngve is not afraid to spend his money on furs, jewels, and the finer things in life, both for himself and his ladies. As part of his contract Yngve has demanded 25 tickets to every event for his entourage of ladies and friends. When he is not fighting on the card, Yngve can be found in the front row surrounded by beautiful women, must be nice.
Biggest drunk: Billy Gruff – Billy wins this one because I have never seen him sober. I will admit though, on nights when he fights his slurring of his speech is less pronounced. On nights he doesn't fight, his seat is almost always empty because he is in the lounge drinking and watching the fight on a monitor. For after event parties, we have to bring two extra bottle of Jack Daniels just for Billy.
Biggest stoner: Tied between too many to list here.
Highest lung capacity: Tupa Dufu – Tupa won this one at a recent after event party following RCG 4. The boys decided to see who could take the biggest bong hit. While most of the guys could not even take a two gram hit without coughing, Tupa continued to graduate to larger and larger bowls until he actually took an entire six gram hit without coughing. On a seven gram attempt, Tupa not only coughed but he passed out and didn't come to for almost 36 hours. Cheers Tupa.
Worse attitude: Joshua “Lizard” Weber – With his “I don't give a f*ck-er” approach to life, Weber wins this one easy. A bully as a kid, Joshua has always been a bad boy. As a teenager he was known around his neighborhood as a “self-righteous douchebag”. Isn't it funny how things always change, but remain the same?
Dirtiest Fighter: Roid “Rage” Whitaker – Roid actually bit an opponent during a college wrestling match. He is not afraid to pull your hair or poke you in the eye when the ref isn't looking. And don't worry Roid, RCG has counter measures for random steriod testing, you'll be safe here.
Meanest fighter: Pekka Pyy – Pekka is definitely not the type of guy you ask over for dinner. A loner by nature, he comes from the northern wastelands where only the toughest survive. He has the social skills of a rock, and the mind of a killer. He cut the ear off his ex-manager because he forgot to arrange a ride to a fight.
Biggest outcast: Clark Kent – A goody two shoes, Clark somehow slipped though the filters and was signed to the Chain Gang. Clark doesn't even bother coming to the after event parties anymore because no one will spend any time with him. While talking to fellow fighter Bobby Bones, he let it slip that the only reason he signed with the Chain Gang was that he believes the Chain Gang is part of the secret society of super villains and he is going to take us down. Good luck with that Clark, in case you can't hear me I'm laughing.
Article views:
205
» Donate to this author |
