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Editorial by Thanks for sitting down with me, El Presidente. I was really hoping to get a titty streamer to do this podcast but I guess I'll have to settle for the double champ. Make yourself comfortable.
First off, let's address the elephant in the room. Word on the street is that you're packing a whopper down there. Yuuuuge. And I'm sure it looks even bigger in those tiny hands. Anyway, I was talking to an USADA piss tester the other day, and obviously, he saw you pull out the legendary Donald Jr., so to speak. "Swinging past the knees," were his words. He swore you could use that thing to check leg kicks. Thoughts?
IT`S ALL TRUE AMIGO. I HAVE SUCH A BIG DICK THAT THE ONLY WAY I CAN PROPERLY LUBRICATE THIS BIG COCK IS WITH SHAD DAO`S OILY FACE. RUBBING MY COCK ON HIS UGLY MUG IS THE ONLY WAY THESE BITCHES CAN PUSH IT IIIIN.
Now, moving on. It says here that you're the light heavyweight double champion of both Bukkake Fighting Federation and Scrap Heap MMA. Not bad, not bad. However, Henry Cejudo has moved MMA into the modern era of triple champions. Do you have your sights on another organization's belt, or perhaps moving divisions to claim titles Pacquiao-style?
THAT MIDGET T-REX HENRY CEJUDO HAS TINY ARMS, THE REAL QUESTION HERE IS HOW DOES HENRY WIPE HIS BUTT? MAYBE HE HIRED CARTER JOSE DE LA CUS TO WIPE HIS BUTT BUT PHYSICALLY IT IS JUST IMPOSSIBLE WITH THOSE T-REX ARMS!
You're undefeated in 2019 and amassed an amazing nine-fight win streak, including six title fights. It'll be 10-0 after Skrap Fights 87, I'm assuming, as you've already stopped Young Lad once before, and I've already paid for a Georgian mail-order bride off my expected bet winnings. Obviously you're all about MAGA, but have you won so much that you're sick and tired of winning at this point?
I`M GONNA KEEP WINING LIKE CHARLIE SHEEN UNTIL I DIE OR GET THE BAD AIDS.
You've ended 75% of your fights by stoppages via strikes, often in the later rounds after following up on a knockdown. Is it fair to say that you enjoy being on top of sweaty men, fisting them hard until they submit?
ERRRRR ... YES I SUPPOSE, YES THAT IS ACCURATE.
Now, I've knocked out a few Mexicans in my time. Sometimes I even did it in the octagon. Your Buzz bio reads, and I quote, that you "hunt the Mexican'ts" and you proved it by beating the brakes off Ceaser El Toro Jr at BFF 75. Let's talk wall. Specifically, some sweet sugar walls. Can we get your official statement on big booty Latinas?
BIG BOOTY LATINAS ARE THE BEST, THEIR PUPUSA SMELLING FARTS NEVER BOTHER ME JUST DON`T EVER CHEAT ON THEM OR YOU WILL WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITHOUT YOUR LIVER!
Thanks for stopping by, Donnie. All our viewers, make sure you smash that "donate" button down below. I need the money for hookers and blow, man - life's necessities. We got no sponsors to shoutout right now, so I'd like to just shoutout all the MILFs out there for keeping it tight. Don, you got anyone to shoutout before the power company cuts out the lights?
MAGA!
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