SFL 09 | Hell's Kitchen

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SFL 09 | HELL’S KITCHEN REVIEW
MADISON GARDEN ARENA

Xavier: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Madison Garden Arena in the Big Apple!

Styles: It’s wonderful to be back in New York! It’s been a while since I’ve been here and I’ve already seen some ladies that I need to get to know better!

Xavier: Always the ladies man, aren’t you?

Styles: Damn right! I know we have to be wary of COVID and all, but dammit, I still have a life to live and plenty of ladies to know! Zoom has been great in terms of meeting a lot of new ladies quickly but there’s definitely no way to replace an actual human being!

Xavier: We definitely concur on that! There’s no replacing the human touch. I know there are synthetic dolls and all of that crap but hell to the no on that! Give me a woman’s touch any day!

Styles: Well, if the synthetic doll doesn’t have an attitude, no special time of the month and a woman is down with integrating that doll into what we’re doing, then…

Xavier: That’s enough of that, Styles!

Styles: I’m just sayin’!

Xavier: Let’s get down to business before we catch a harassment case from HR!

Styles: HR around here? Please! SFL is all about bringing the best of what you got and if it’s talkin’ crap then so be it!

Xavier: I can’t argue that point.

WELTERWEIGHT DIVISION: FAN “TWO TOES” BOI (5-3; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)
VERSUS
MALACHI “THE ALMIGHTY” LAWRENCE (9-8; CURRENT STREAK: 4 LOSSES)

Xavier: I don’t know if Boi is really working with two toes or if that nickname means something else, but in this fight, he’s less experienced, has a disadvantage in Muay Thai, and better dance on those two toes to avoid getting knocked out. He can hope to outwrestle Lawrence to win by unanimous decision, because that’s the only way I see him winning this fight!

Styles: “Almighty” is having an almighty slide down the losing streak side of life! If he’s going to avoid falling to an even record then he’s going to have to use that Muay Thai advantage to his advantage, lock Boi into a clinch, and go to work on him until he either falls over unconscious!

PREDICTIONS: Xavier – Boi by Unanimous Decision; Styles – Lawrence by KO

WELTERWEIGHT DIVISION: ALY MAGOMEDOV (4-4; CURRENT STREAK: 2 WINS)
VERSUS
“THE UNWANTED ASSASSIN” ROBERT MUNSON (3-2; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)

Styles: Magomedov, who should be a fitness model, will want to do as much damage in the standup portion of this fight to soften Munson up for the takedown he seeks! Once he gets this fight to the ground, his aggression will be able to overcome Munson despite him being technically just as skilled in BJJ. Munson wins this by submission!

Xavier: If Munson can crack Magomedov’s jaw before he’s able to attempt any takedowns then Munson will be sitting pretty. If he finds that slowing Magomedov down with striking isn’t getting the job done then he can either try to land power strikes from counterattacks or even take a bigger risk and lock Magomedov into a clinch and land a multitude of strikes for points. Munson will win this fight by knockout!

PREDICTIONS: Xavier – Munson by KO; Styles – Magomedov by Submission

LIGHTWEIGHT DIVISION: YVES “THE MAD BUMPBER” TRUDEAU (5-8; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)
VERSUS
KOLLAA RIVER (6-2; CURRENT STREAK: 4 WINS)

Xavier: This will be an interesting fight because Trudeau recently knocked out Raistlin Majere and may be feeling very confident heading into this fight. The approach is simple: Keep this fight vertical and ugly and he has a chance of winning two fights in a row for the first time in a long time! Trudeau wins by knockout!

Styles: The world class boxer is going to have to be wary of Trudeau’s brutal kicks in this fight. If he can let his educated fists light up Trudeau’s jaw in the standup while avoiding having his head kicked off then he’s solid. If that doesn’t get the job done then he drags this fight to the ground and gets the tapout! River takes this one home by submission!

PREDICTIONS: Styles – River by Submission; Xavier – Trudeau by KO

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT DIVISION: “FLUE” CHE VON CRU (5-3; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)
VERSUS
BALDUR TORSTEN (4-3; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)

Styles: YABAI combat is featured between these two young lions! Both are 22-year-old prodigies that are well ahead of their time in terms of skill levels. Despite that, they’re both struggling a bit with consistency but YABAI wins this fight either way. For Cru, his very slight height advantage coupled with an assumed speed advantage is key to victory tonight! Pressure and energetic output will bring this one home for him by unanimous decision!

Xavier: Torsten is technically not quite up to Cru’s speed but I think the Norwegian has more power than Cru and power gives anyone a puncher’s chance of winning by knockout! As long as Torsten doesn’t get caught up in the clinch game that potentially Cru could try to lock him in if he sees he can’t rock Torsten’s chin with his educated hands, Torsten will be able to knock out his fellow alliance member! Torsten takes this home by knockout!

PREDICTIONS: Xavier – Torsten by KO; Styles – Cru by Unanimous Decision

LIGHTWEIGHT DIVISION: JONNY BAKER (11-10-1; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)
VERSUS
KORYU “LEERE HAND” MIYAGI (4-2; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)

Xavier: Baker faces a tough battle because he’s technically inferior to Miyagi, so he’s going to have to show a lot of heart and desire in this fight to win. Counterattacking in the standup is probably going to be his best bet because he doesn’t want to risk having this fight to the ground where he could potentially lose on points. Baker will have to unleash as much power as he has to land the one clean strike he needs to win this fight by knockout!

Styles: While in the standup, Miyagi should be able to take advantage of his superior skills and dictate the pace of this fight, plus, if nothing else, he can lock Baker into a clinch. If he opts to do that, he can land faster and more accurate strikes and move ahead on the judges’ scorecards. However, Miyagi is anxious for a knockout and he knows this is a prime opportunity to do just that! Miyagi wins this fight by knockout!

PREDICTIONS: Styles – Miyagi by KO; Xavier – Baker by KO

Styles: Now we move to the Top 5 fights for tonight’s card!

MIDDLEWEIGHT DIVISION: NED “FUCKING” KELLY (5-3; CURRENT STREAK: 5 WINS)
VERSUS
STERLING “RANDO” ARCHER (4-2; CURRENT STREAK: 2 LOSSES)

Styles: The man with the very blunt nickname steps into battle from Glerowan, Australia, and represents Keyboard Warriors. The 24-year-old brings solid boxing, excellent Muay Thai, very good wrestling and a brown belt to this battle, and this man is riding a very solid wave of confidence from the 5-fight winning streak he has earned after a rough start to his career. I expect Kelly to take full advantage of his Muay Thai abilities and pepper Archer with a multitude of kicks. Should he find himself struggling to finish Archer in this fight, he can lock him into a clinch where he should be able to control the pace and space of this fight. Locking him in a clinch is a calculated risk because he could potentially be taken to the ground, but if that happens then he has enough BJJ ability to prevent himself from being tapped out of beaten by ground and pound. I think Kelly has enough ability and skill to take this fight home by knocking Archer out!

Xavier: When I saw Archer earlier tonight, he absolutely didn’t look like a man ready for a fight, and that’s bad news for him. It seems the two losses in a row have taxed him more mentally than he may care to admit but it’s written all over his face and in his body language! That’s going to be very difficult to deal with because he needs to be in top form to be able to deal with Kelly’s superior Muay Thai ability, let alone his ability to rock his jaw! Archer is going to have to dig deeper than he ever has if he’s going to have any chance of winning this fight, and it’s going to have to be by counterattacking with accurate and damaging power! Unfortunately, Styles, I don’t see that happening at all. Kelly wins this fight by knockout!

PREDICTIONS: Xavier – Kelly by KO; Styles – Kelly by KO

HEAVYWEIGHT DIVISION: LATROY JOHNSON (9-4; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)
VERSUS
“BIG” KEVIN MCGUIRE (4-1; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)

Xavier: This is a fight that you’re going to greatly enjoy, Styles, because it’s an inter-alliance battle featuring NAUGHTLY CREW. The 25-year-old Johnson from Houston likes to intimidate his opponents with The Undertaker slit throat gesture, though I’m not certain intimidation will work on McGuire! Nonetheless, Johnson has a solid experience battle in this fight, and he brings Golden Gloves level boxing, solid Muay Thai, good wrestling and a purple belt. He’s going to want to keep this fight in the vertical base where he has the best chance to test McGuire’s chin with crushing strikes. Landing clean power shots will enable him to try and finish this fight as quickly as possible while avoiding being dragged to the ground. If this fight goes to the ground, both men may struggle to gain control or finish the other, and that’s a risk neither one of them want to take because the judges may make a decision they don’t concur with. Johnson will look to aggressively pressure McGuire and score the knockout!

Styles: The 23-year-old from St. Joe steps into this battle with very good boxing, excellent Muay Thai, solid wrestling and a purple belt. McGuire has shown that he carries enough boom in his fists to turn the lights out on any opponent, but he also has a submission victory to his credit. He’s a bit taller than Johnson but I don’t think he’ll be interested in trying to score a submission, especially since he’s not that much better than Johnson in the grappling aspect of battle. In a fight such as this, especially against an opponent who presumably knows you very well since you’re in the same alliance, outthinking Johnson will be key for McGuire. Both of these men have the ability to drop the other with one solid strike but neither of these men have the ability to withstand a lot of damaging strikes to the chin. If McGuire can literally beat Johnson to the punch then he can accomplish what Johnson hopes to and end this fight early with a knockout!

PREDICTIONS: Styles – McGuire by KO; Xavier – Johnson by KO

WELTERWEIGHT DIVISION: GABRIEL “TARANTULA” TORRES (13-5; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)
VERSUS
JACKSON “DRIP” POLLOCK (7-3; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)

Styles: The 24-year-old Peruvian from Arequipa brings his unusual hair and solid skills into this fight looking to get back on the winning side of life. The submission specialist brings solid boxing, good Muay Thai, very good wrestling and a black belt to the fight. He has an experience advantage tonight and will need every bit of it to get Pollock to the ground where he has his best chance to win! While this fight remains standing, he’s going to have to tag Pollock fast and heavy to rock him to open his defenses for the takedown he’ll be looking for. If he’s not able to secure the takedown he needs, he definitely doesn’t want to take a chance of getting locked into a clinch with Pollock because he could very well lose the scoring battle and that would be a waste of various opportunities, of course, to finish this fight. Avoiding Pollock’s kicks because they could be the difference maker. In a very calculate and difficult fight, Torres will eventually lock in the submission he needs to emerge victorious!

Xavier: The 25-year-old YABAI member from Cody, Wyoming, knows his best chance to win tonight is to keep this fight in the standup. Although highly skilled in wrestling, his BJJ abilities may not enable him to avoid being locked into a submission that forces him to tap out. To avoid that possibility, accurate strikes to score vital points while preventing Torres from getting comfortable and shooting into various takedown attempts is key. Obviously, if Pollock can land powerful strikes to hurt Torres and set him up to be finished then Pollock will go full force towards achieving that goal! Pollock isn’t known as a power striker per se, but he does have a few TKO finishes to his credit so Torres can’t underestimate his power whatsoever. Pollock has also shown the propensity to stretch a fight out to its entirety while staying ahead on the scorecards while avoiding major damage. Thus far he hasn’t been knocked out and that will enable him to be more aggressive in seeking the knockout he’ll score to win tonight!

PREDICTIONS: Xavier – Pollock by KO; Styles – Torres by Submission

MIDDLEWEIGHT DIVISION: JAKE “THE TACOMA AX-KILLER” BIRD (9-4; CURRENT STREAK: 2 WINS)
VERSUS
COLIN KAEPERNICK (13-3; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)

Xavier: Here we have the classic ground versus standup fighter as the 24-year-old warrior from Louisiana looks to get this fight grounded as soon as possible and keep it there. The FinnFighters’ representative has solid boxing, decent Muay Thai, outstanding wrestling and a black belt. Obviously, he wants to put his grappling capabilities on full display and keep this fight where he’s most comfortable for obvious reasons, but he also wants to avoid potentially taking major damage from the hard-hitting Kaepernick at all costs! While this fight is in the vertical plane, he’s going to have to rely on his boxing skills and avoid being kicked upside the head or locked into a clinch. If Bird finds himself in a clinch, then he’s going to have to do everything he can to avoid taking damage from Kaepernick’s knees because that could be the beginning of the end! Bird is going to have to be patient with his striking and once he’s able to catch Kaepernick off balance, Bird will have to put all he has into landing a takedown and moving immediately into position to finish this fight by submission!

Styles: The Convicted Inc. member from Montreal, Canada, has a very good overall record and has shown that his aggression pays off, especially if he’s able to lock his opponent into a clinch and let his knees fly! There’s no doubt that he wants to add Bird to this list of victims, but he also has to be careful because his chin isn’t the best. He was recently dropped early in the second round, though Pedro Fuentes is definitely capable of knocking out a great many opponents. That loss snapped a 5-fight winning streak, but he defeated Aaron Lund at SFL 03 to get back into the winning side of life and wants to use that momentum to get a good jump on Bird tonight. I think it will be very smart of him to rely on his kicks to soften Bird up for clean strikes and a clinch should the need arise. I expect Kaepernick to be very aggressive in this fight because if he finishes Bird quickly, he obviously has no concerns with getting his chin rocked because the fight will be over! Kaepernick wins by knockout!

PREDICTIONS: Styles – Kaepernick by KO; Xavier – Bird by Submission

WELTERWEIGHT DIVISION: LITILL “MINI MOUNTAIN” BJORNSSON (35-4; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)
VERSUS
GIUSEPPE TURTURRO (11-5; CURRENT STREAK: NONE)

Styles: The legendary Bjornsson brings his incredible ability to continue defeating opponents who technically are superior to him using his outstanding will and passion! The 32-year-old Icelandic warrior from Reykjavik looks to continue cementing his legacy be defeating another outstanding opponent. He obviously wants to get this fight on the ground because it’s a dangerous undertaking to stay standing and try to go toe-to-toe against Turturro, especially since Turturro’s Muay Thai is much better. Bjornsson is going to have to outthink Turturro and use his aggression against him to cause him to miss a power strike or combination. Once he does that, he’ll be able to score the takedown he needs to get this fight to his comfort zone. Once he establish that, he’ll be able to keep this fight on the ground where he can either try and control the pace of this fight or, obviously, look to score the submission to finish this fight right then and there! Bjornsson wins this tough battle by submission!

Xavier: The 26-year-old Italian from Siciliy represents Convicted Inc. tonight, and very similar to Bjornsson, he wants to get this fight to the ground where he can be most effective. With solid boxing, respectable Muay Thai, outstanding wrestling and a black belt, this will definitely be a calculated battle for him, especially due to the massive experience disadvantage he has against Bjornsson! Since Turturro is six years younger, he absolutely could opt to try and wear down Bjornsson with quick, accurate strikes, especially to the body, and when he slows the older more damaged warrior down, he can then look to land more power strikes and he may even opt to keep this fight standing if he sees that he can keep the pressure up while moving ahead on the judges’ scorecards! If and when this battle goes to the ground, methodical pacing and looking to outbattle Bjornsson using counterstriking and transitions to move himself into dominant positions to potentially finish this fight by submission!

PREDICTIONS: Xavier – Turturro by Submission; Bjornsson by Submission

Xavier: That’s our time, ladies and gentlemen! We always appreciate the time and attention you give us, and we hope we’ve provided you valuable insight into the fights that you’re interested in.

Styles: Naturally, we want to thank Conquer for being our excellent merchandise partner and we hope we’ve made you excited for these fights tonight because we’re definitely looking forward to the action that unfolds in the cage! On behalf of Xavier Styles, I’m Furious Styles, wishing all of you well and we’ll see you at the fights! 

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