2020-10-15
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Kilo Wins YB Sol Invitational

Fighter profile of Kilo Maluga by Chris Karter

 Kilo Maluga made history today when he captured the 10 million dollar prize in the YB Sol Invitational following the destruction of Kwame Zulu in the first round. The Convicted Fight Club product flaunted his tournament trophy all over the cage after dispatching Kwave Zulu.

  Pick him up, dust him off, send him back to his little tribe." Kilo calmly spoke into the mic as Chuck handed him his crown. "Easy money."

 

There Must Be Blood

 

Some would dare say that Kilo wraps up one of the most impressive displays of violence in mmatycoon tournament history after going into the gauntlet and knocking out Kimbo Slice, Cedric Simard, Jorge Cruz Jr, and Kwame Zulu. Whether it's the greatest performance ever or just one of the top 5, there's no denying that Kilo left a trail of bodies behind him that contains once almighty and glorious warriors who were reveled for their KO power and chins.

 

Rumors circulating the internet is that the pirate from Kiribati made a blood sacrifice before the tournament. He demanded retribution for those that have wronged his manager and their camp, and he made his enemies pay in blood. Destroying their faces and consuming all their hype, sky rocketing up the world rankings to the #2 HW in the game.

 

Meet Kilo Maluga, Destroyer of Worlds

 

Born in the Pacific Islands of Kiribati in the capital of Tarawa, a town infamous for The Battle of Tarawa between Japanese and American forces in WWII, Kilo grew up relatively poor and impoverished. When he was bored he would kick coconut trees in half and when he went fishing he'd dive in the water to catch sharks - with his bare hands.

 

He suffered a horrific facial injury as a teenager when he was attacked by a great white shark but somehow miraculously escaped when the shark broke its teeth on his chiseled chin. Kilo almost bled to death in the water but he clinch raped a manta ray and rode it to shore. After summoning the powers of the Punchmaster General he dove into the ocean, swam back in the direction of that shark, and scrapped with it for over 3 hours. Kilo emerged from the water like Aquaman, dragging the lifeless body of the former underwater apex predator in one hand.

 

Kilo knew from that day on that he was born to be a fighter, so he chopped a bunch of trees down with leg kicks and built a ship with his titanic sized hands, not unlike the great Moses of the biblical times. On his journey out to sea the only way to satisfy his bloodlust was to raid cargo freighters and random villages across the Pacific enroute to California. It's said that Kilo produced an estimated 27 children on his warpath to America.

 

Well, that's the story we've been told anyway...

 

Kilo conquered sea, next up was land

 

Fast forward. Years after kicking the oceans ass he kicked the ass of every try-hard1, over-achieving2, do-gooder3, and dirt-ball4 that entered the YB Sol Invitational tournament. His manager thanks 2nd place, 3rd and 4th place, enjoy your participation trophies.

 

1, 2, 3, 4. Kilo smashed 4 fighters. you can play musical chairs with the labels.

 

Kilo doesn't give a rats ass about fair play

 

No, no he doesn't. And he's jacked up on bull shark testosterone.

 

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