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 Café MM at Kopervik, Karmøy, was filled to capacity as local celebrity and KoF: Iron Wolf lightweight contender Keith Kenneth Ferkingstad made his triumphant return to his home after another dominating submission win.
The usually rowdy crowd was unusually quiet as Ferkingstad grabbed the microphone. Women fainted, men peed their pants, and wide-eyed children marvelled as he started talking in his famous baritone.
'Like many Karmøy men before me, my heart has been stolen by a foreign beauty', Ferkingstad said. 'This particular wildflower, however, came with some baggage. Namely, a young child. I intend to raise the child as my own, fetal alcohol syndrome be damned. In order to show her how serious I am about our relationship, I've written a song about it. This is 'Sweet Patricia'.'
The crowd went wild as Ferkingstad started singing
The time before I met you
My heart was in a tizzy
But when I first laid eyes on you
I started to get dizzy
Cuz you're as fine as woman as I've ever seen
And I don't only want to, give you my peen
You have a son who's useless and writes a lot
He flails around and talks, but never throws a shot
He claims to have a wife and says she's pretty hot
But everybody knows Camara piped that thot
Oh sweet Patricia, Patricia, you're killing me
If you ever step to me I'll shower you in pee
Because all the journalism in the world can't hide
just what a scared lil bitch you are deep inside
You look just like Joe Rogan, and that's a fact
You might be tellin' me, I'm showing you no tact
As true as that might be I know what's real to me
If you ever try to fight me you'll be drowned in my pee
Patricia, Patrica, I hope that this is real
I wrote you this song to show you how I feel
I know I banged your mother, hope you're cool with that
If you try to fight me I'll turn you into a hat
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