Simard: A rags to riches to future porn star story.

Fighter profile of Cedric Simard by Alex K.

Home town: Gay Paree (Paris to you heathens) 

Age: 25 

Weight: Fat 

Height: Stefan Struve range 

Manager: Alex K. former #1 manger in the tycoon world. Unfortunately he's now as washed up as 

Lindsay Lohan. Although he's got less vaginal diseases. Probably. 

Fighting style: Arm yanking and neck cranking submission man 

Fashion style: Gothic biker 

Background: His father was in the anges de l'enfer bikie gang and his mother was a young goth prostitute with a glass eye and buck teeth. Neglected as a child Cedric had to fight for every croissant and baguette he ever ate. As you can now tell by his size he was rather successful in these endeavours. At age 18 he was lured from the streets of Paris to the land of gluttony by Alex K on the promise of access to such delicacies as Taco Bell, Burger King, Wendy's, Papa John's and Popeyes. Career: Cedric has been passed around mangers like Justin Bieber would be passed around in jail. Now he's back under the tutelage of his original mentor. While Cedric has yet to taste title victory he has already had a failed title shot at the now liquidated FARTMMA (and doesn't that sound quite disgusting. I've always said there's nothing more untrustworthy than a wet fart. But I digress). SFL run: Cedric has made a positive start to his Stoner Fight League career going 3-0 so far all with finishes. Interestingly 2 of those were submissions to take his career sub wins to 5. Almost in defiance of the numerous people that think fatties can't roll. Let me tell you, this chubby chap most certainly can roll. Prospects: After asking the seven thousand plus people that work at SFL the general consensus is that with another win or two Cedric Simard will be fighting for the title. I'm sure the thought of Cedric lifting the SFL belt is enough to bring a tear to his mothers good eye.

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