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.png) Marcus Behnder 0-0 vs Kota Utama 0-0
The first fight of the evening, we find ourselves in the midst of what will be a hotly contested LHW bout that will only end with someone getting stretchered out. Marcus Behnder is a 7'3 nasty Muay Thai striker with a minor background in wrestling who hails from the great country Canada. I was truly shocked upon first meeting him as he looked like he was malnourished. Jail will do that to you I guess. I hear his NBA dreams failed to pan out after he caught a charge for assault for beating up a member of Drake's entourage while partying in Toronto. His opponent, Kota Utama is a Malaysian buddhist monk that stands at 6'2 who comes in as better wrestler and a strong background in boxing and will likely put his training as a monk to the test using his hands as deadly weapons. We asked Kota what got him ousted from the temple and sent here to the island however he has taken a vow of silence and refuses to speak. Tch, convenient. I see this one being a straight stand and bang that ends with blood, sweat, and someone becoming an EMT's carryon.
Hugh "Hungry Hungary Hippo" Mongous 0-0 vs Dragutin "Redbeard" Bjelica 0-0
Kicking off our first of two Super Heavyweight bouts we have Hugh Mongous, a Hungarian professional speed eater is trying his hands at something other than stuffing his face for once. Triple H stands at 6'6 and is a solid 300lbs easy. He's built like a bear and hits like one too; Hugh is a very remarkable Muay Thai specialist with a rather proficient background in wrestling. It would stand to say that you would want to beware any strikes albeit punches, kicks or knees coming from his general direction. Across from the cage from will be a similar striking figure (see what I did there), Dragutin Bjelica, the Serbian fighter is affectionately known as Redbeard by his fans. Legend has it that his hair is originally blond but he's allowed it to be stained and dyed red by the blood of everyone he fights. Redbeard doesn't give up much in height as he stands at 6'5 and walks around at 294 lbs generally. He is a wonderful Muay Thai striking specialist (bet you got the pun now), who respectfully can handle his own should he have to show off his wrestling skills. I don't know who its gonna be but one of these guys is due for a long nap.
Monsta "Jankmaster" Jankens 0-0 vs Ken "Street Fighter" Fury 0-0
Our third fight of the event of the evening features a fight between two of our biggest rogues who normally double as security and street enforcers when they aren't leaving guys for dead in the cage after brutal, vicious knockouts. Monsta Jankens is a Jordanian fighter, in fact he is one of our smaller yet rounder SHWs who measures at 6'2 and is a whopping 300lbs of fat, muscle, and aggression. His camp passed me a note when we were signing and said a monster lurks inside of him. Eh.. I'll withold judgement for now. He has a quite the strong background in boxing showing he likes to mix it up on his feet and is deceptively nimble despite his frame; Jankmaster has a purple belt as well in BJJ showing that he's versatile enough to handle himself on the ground as well in the event anybody wants to to take it there. Now picture him two inches taller, more proportionate and a better boxer, that'd be Ken Fury. Fury is a remarkably talented Samoan boxer who also boasts about having a purple belt in BJJ as well. His hands have been honed from a very young age as he fought for his survival and to this day still takes on life or death whenever he needs to feel adrenaline kick in. When asked who was his favorite fighter, he said it was Ivan Drago because he has the same mindset. If he dies, he dies. This is gonna be a brutal fight so I hope they both packed for an extended stay in the hospital just in case.
Tobias Berge 0-0 vs Satoshi Nakamoto 0-0
Fourth scrap is gonna be a lightweight bout between the Norwegian grappler Tobais Berge and the Antiguan boxer Satoshi Nakamoto. Tobias is our residential pothead here, make sure you hit his line, he's the plug. But once he's plugged into the ring and those doors closed he's known to short circuit a few fighters. Berge is 5'7 and tips the scale to 162; he's known to be a respectable wrestler but he truly shines in BJJ and has acquired his brown belt before making the trek to the island. Tobias is out here on the island trying to make some cash so that he can pay his lawyers and get off the possession charges back on the mainland. Satoshi left his island to come to a bigger island, not by much though to be honest; but at least hear you can beat people up and get paid for it. Satoshi has been fairly quiet about why he's here and no whispers from his family and friends back on the islands despite our best efforts. Nakamoto is 5'11 and stepped down off the scale at an even 160lbs today at the weigh-in. He's quite impressive as far as boxing goes, remarkable one would say and proficiently holds his own when it comes wrestling. Nakamoto, please don't hit that mat otherwise your limbs may never turn the right way again.
Tony Luciano 0-0 vs Dwight Schrute 0-0
Tony Luciano is a 6'4 Mexican striker who is deeply affliated in the MS13; had to flee Mexico. Destination? The Island, he was strongly advised that he needed to come here and succeed so that he would be able to return and see his family whole. I don't know what you type of fuckery you gotta get into to get put on a life or death one way trip to the Island but you better not sleep on Tony or you might end sleep on Tony. You get me? Although his wrestling is just proficient enough to stay off his back, its his remarkable muay thai striking that makes him shine. He came in just under 265 at 260 and is looking for that nasty knockout tomorrow. Dwight Schrute comes in the cage on the other side ready for war. As much as a paper bitch secretary could be that is..but he gets enough flak for that as it is so he is here on the island trying to earn some respect for himself and his name. The Seychellean from Pennslyvania is a wonderful boxer and comes in ahead as the better wrestler as well. Both guys look apt to stand and bang, always a crowd favorite and mine as well.
Mikhail Ivanov 0-0 vs Leffe Vulk 0-0
Ivanov faces off against Vulk in a welterweight matchup. Mikhail hails from cold, unforgiving iceland of Russia. He is a wonderful boxer with a phenomenal one-two and has earn the respects of opponents who have wrestled with him in sparring as well as his amateur fights. He's a vicious guys with a mean streak who likes blitzing and beating his opponents into submission as he towers over them at 6 foot even just slightly over 170 on a regular day. That man is ice cold family, just look at his Macebook profile pic. Leffe Vulk is a wrestler with his work cut out for him, he stand a bit shorter at 5'9 and made weight at 170 today but strolls about at 180. As the wonderful wrestler he is I suspect him plans to take this to the ground and as a fairly competent Muay Thai strike, I plan to see some knees, hammerfists, and elbows should this bout go to the mat. This match is gonna be lightning in a bottle, I just don't know who's gonna win in shocking fashion.
Obi "Wan" Ojo 0-0 vs Big Nasty 0-0
Obi "Wan" Ojo is one cock-eyed sumbitch, lemme tell ya. He was talking to me at the weigh-in and I swear I didn't know which eye to look at. I'm ashamed to write that he told me which one. [It's the left] Obi is decent size guy is about 6'3-6'4 I'd say from meeting him. He's a smaller and lithe heavyweight as he only weighed 246. No cuts necessary, sheesh! "Seems like Obi only need wan Ojo" was the catchphrase off his highlight tape as it showcased his wonderful boxing and respectable wrestling aptitude from his amateur boxing bouts. On the other hand, we got Big Nasty. First of all, username checks out. Nasty is just a smidge taller but still only 6'4 but is a much heavier 265 on the scale and more than likely be closer to his walking weight of 280lbs. After making weight Big Nasty was spotted devour four McRibs and 2 large fries. He don't miss to many meals. Classic match between speed and power this one.. Somebody's gonna say bye bye and that 0 is gonna go.
Darby Allin 0-0 vs John "The Vegemite Villain" Dory 0-0
Darby Allin is another shady islander from the Caribbean isles of St Vincent & Grenadines that has come to try his luck on the biggest island stage. Darby is a quiet, who decided he had to take a risk to feel alive, to feel something. Allin started his career off as a wrestler in school was quite remarkable in his stint, however it wasn't until he took up Boxing did he truly start to feel anything. It was the punches that kept him going. Darby is a heavyweight wrestler who is 6'2 and weighed in today at 245lbs. I forsee a lot of dirty boxing in the future with this one. Standing across from him, its John motherfucking Dory! If you don't know who this guy is then you need to turn on the TV. Australia's Most Wanted John Dory, he spars with roos and wallabies as camps for his fights giving them bows, knees and punches! The Vegemite Villian is a wonderful Muay Thai striker who can respectably hold his own when it comes to wrestling. Dirty Boxing might not be the right option giving Dory's skillset and could spell trouble for Allin. Cause if you've every seen a John Dory episode when he takes on male kangaroos; don't be scared for John Dory, you worry about that roo!
Borivoje "The Butcher" Uzelac 0-0 vs Tibor Terej 0-0
Borivoje Uzelac is a Serbian fighter who was a butcher before he put down the blade to pick up his hands. At 6'2 and weighed 205 but walks around at 211, he's a wonderful muay thai striker that looks to overwhelm you with a variety of strikes. The Butcher isnt know to wrestle but you gotta respect it. Borivoje has spent his life eviscerating meat, now its time his hands do some tenderizing. Tibor Terej, the Czech wrestler, is just an inch shorter than Uzelac and weighs the same. Tibor has some hands on him too that you have to respect. Dont let him grab and clinch or its gonna be a long fucking night. I can guarantee that .
Osman Asgarov 0-0 vs Khabib "The Eagle" Nurmagomedov 0-1 (0-0 Org)
The main event of the evening features Osman Asgarov making his MMA debut. Osman hails from Azerbaijan and is no stranger to conflict as he is know as avid, wonderful boxer out there when he isn't engaging in other activities, those of which landed him here doing an extended stint on the island. With the switch from Boxing to MMA, Osman has dove headfirst into wrestling and found a love for it and you gotta put some respect on his name when it comes down to it. Khabib Nurmagomedov, no it isn't the same one you know and and love, its a clone. Real talk, I don't fuck with the government but apparently the clone got hands.. Actually scratch that, I'm told he is woefully uncoordinated right now but will come in time as the clone adjust to the surroundings and stimuli. However the Russian government did slip in that he is strong wrestling base and has picked up grappling to a point to where he was able to get a blue belt. I don't know if we should be teaching clones how to beat us up..but I don't get paid to think, I get paid to match. The Eagle is an inch shorter at 5'8 and 145 at the scale but trots around at 154 as we are told as he only speaks in guttural grunts for now. Apparently combat was the focus over language. This card is the debut of the island and this main even should be a proper icing on the cake.
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